Police clamp down on mobilty scooter users.........Gins we will help you ....

[Extremelygrumpy]

After a sudden rush of mobilty scooter users modifying their mobility scooters , police fear an epidemic of road rage incidents and demand all mobilty scooter users are licenced. After Moffy ripped off a policemans jacket and shirt whilst test driving mine and KazF getting stuck in her drive and myself demolishing a neighbours wall in my fish tank ..... Gins is the next person in our lovely forum to get in trouble with the police. How can Gins talk her way out of this ?????or has anyone modified their mobility scooter into a Tardis????

[Ginsing]

You heard I spent yesterday modifying my "Jezebell" mob scooter into a rather racy little number but the neighbour took offence and the police were called . There I was trying to explain what had happened to this rather dishy young man and all he wanted to do was get me back in my house away from neighbour who was by this time waving his snow shovel nearer and nearer to my Jezabell. I was eventually escorted in to house having fallen of Jezzy into the arms of .........no it was OH how boring. Now I am stripping Jezzy back so she will look like a tardis all gleaming and smooth oh VG help me escape .........xgin

[Ginsing]

VG letters just arrived I am up before the bench for libelus vocabulary tomorrow I only said .............can I use anything in my defence ????????? xgins

[Extremelygrumpy]

I have been ringing round all the local drs hoping to find the right one to exterminate this problem.... But so far every one I has tried .. Has just said Doctor who????... Hang in there I am sure we can talk our way out of this.... Did you actually try to exterminate the policeman with your sink plunger swivel stick or did you just growl " exterminate" at the policeman..

VG x

[Ginsing]

It must have been the sink plunger and the nosel he didn't like it up him. Oh how extrodinary I have just found a use for all the bubble wrap (apart from popping).

I am hanging in there.............. what next......... the rope is getting quite tight.............I can see a bright light oh it is flashing

xgin.

[Ginsing]

It' snow obstacle to young jezabell we will go with our bubble wrap and plunger and carve a hole in the ice to fish for lunch to feed you all. Bubble wrap knickers at the ready xgins

[Ginsing]

I have just been reading the paper and VG was this you have you been stealing carrots from snowmen so cruel or was it libby. The police say there is little they can do...........but I can find the culprits

xgin

[Extremelygrumpy in reply to Ginsing]

But but I am on a diet/ healthy eating plan ..... I NEEEDED those carrots more than the snowmen.... I did wash them before eating.....

[Extremelygrumpy in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

Umm I washed the carrots , just to clarify I didn't eat dirty carrots and wash the snowmen

[Hidden in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

Phew that gets me off the hook, thanks for admitting pinching the carrots VG, very decent of you! xxxx

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

if you've taken away the snowmen's noses

how do they smell?

[Hidden in reply to hamble99b]

Terrible !!!!!!

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

hurray! I set em up, you go for the punchline!

[Extremelygrumpy]

Gins.... I was searching the Internet when suddenly a blue light started flashing a whooshing noise was heard and then a police box landed in my front garden .... I hobbled out expecting to find a man in a bow tie with a sonic screwdriver that would take away all incriminating evidence of your modified scooter...... But out poured some policemen who have issued me with legal papers forbidding me to modify or encourage others to modify their scooters...

Am now hunting for a clause in these papers to argue our case....

By the way does your Dalek/ mobility scooter levitate of is it designed on the older daleks who couldn't manage stairs????

[Ginsing]

It levitates absolutely brilliant ...now as to your papers ...

but of course you were modifying simply to ensure you could collect carrots

desperate times means desperate measure. We must call on the young prince H to come to your rescue I believe he will help a damsel in distress. Do you still have a masher??????????

[Extremelygrumpy in reply to Ginsing]

Gins that brilliant I have just been on the phone to the local council and transport. Offices and my mobility scooter is now registered as an agricultural vehicle... So as long as I venture out with a few veg in my shopping basket I am now safe from prosecution...... But back to your problem I think I may have found a way round it..... Simply phone and register with equity , get your acting card and then plead your case as you were on your way to film the new DR Who series in costume and you were stopped mistakenly by a policeman who THOUGHT you were on a mobility scooter....

VG x

[ladymoth]

Now girls, put away your mobility scooters, Prince H. is bringing his helicopter, and we can all hover around to our heart's content!

He didn't take much bribing - he says he's got far too many damsels chasing him already, but he'll go ANYWHERE for a flash of VG's gold-plated knickers, or a pop at gin's bubble-wrap. I think I mentioned chocolate horses as well, and he came over all of a dribble, but he doesn't want any carrots!

We needn't worry about those dratted policemen anymore, 'cos HRH has got something called 'diplomatic immunity' - it means he can be very naughty and not get a slap!

Looking ahead, if we play our cards right, we could all be in line for a 'Ladyship' or a 'Damehood'

"Prithee, Lady VG - would'st thou like a nibble of this chocolate geegee?" (curtseys nicely)

Tea with Her Majesty, next thursday at 3pm!

Regally yours, Dame Moffy x

[Ginsing]

Dame Moffy how wonderful to hear you have the answer to our problem - curtseys- I DO LIKE THE IDEA OF DIPLOMATIC IMUNITY for sooth do I have to carry a little red bag or is that only the chancellor fellow.

Jumps up and down spliting the bubble rap please can I be a Duchess?

In vanity yours

xgins

[ladymoth in reply to Ginsing]

Yeah OK - Duchess Gins - that sounds good to me! The red bag is to keep your carrots in, silly!

Now. put your coronet on and start practicing a dignified demeanour.

Dame Moffy x

[Extremelygrumpy]

Waves regally at moffy and gins..... Lady VG ,,,, I can go with that, and can I be naughty with Prince H ???? If he turns up sitting on a large choccy horse I may not be able to restrain my self..... And may have to have a nibble .....I,m afraid I will have to be on a level with royalty as my arthritic knee refuses to curtesy, Gins do you have any spare bubble wrap so I can make myself an elegant evening gown. And moffy can I borrow your spare gold knickers... The ones with elastic.... I need to make a good impression

VG x

[Hidden in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

Isn't bubble wrap see through VG, not a good look in the presence of royalty my dear . . . . . Your gold undies would appear very apparent! xxxx

[ladymoth in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

Your Ladyship, I have heard that HRH is not averse to a good nibble, so you should be alright there.

I'm trying to find out who has the Royal warrant for elastic manufacture - we may need extra supplies. I have run up a dozen pairs of gold bloomers, so we're well prepared.

Don't worry about the curtsey, VG - we'll dig a hole for you to stand on so that you won't have to bend your knees. i shall have to use it too - me noble knees are awful today!

Moffy DBE x

[Extremelygrumpy in reply to ladymoth]

Rofl I suddenly remembered lord of the rings film where the dwarf was offered a box to stand on , and here we are in reverse... A hole would be most appreciated though thinking about us all with our knees I think we had better dig a long trench...

lady VG

[Hidden]

Is that the same policeman minus half his uniform regarding Lady Moffy?! Hmmmm not sure Equity would believe that VG, you'll have to do better than that lol! xxxx

[Extremelygrumpy]

Libby you had better grab a title quick before moffy grabs you for her lady in waiting... I of course have chosen Lady,,,,,,, gins has bagged duchess, Moffy wants to be a dame.... Not sure if she means pantomime dame....... Looks innocently at moffy......Libs would baroness be ok??... I would say try for queen but you may be accused of treason ... Or expected to parachute into London out of Prince H,s helicopter

VGx

[Hidden in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

Hmmm Baroness sounds quite harsh, let's go for plain old Princess Libs lol! I like that! You don't all have to curtsey to me though, I am reallly quite down to earth lol!

Don't go digging me a hole to stand in though, not that far down to earth! xxx

[Extremelygrumpy]

Ahem Libs I seem to remember a see through dress worked for Kate Middleton... As long as my knickers stay up I think I could pull it off... The effect I mean not the dress

VG x

[Hidden in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

Yes Kate managed to ensnare a Prince, so you never know what will happen. Not sure if would've worked so well for her with bubble wrap though VG, she was a little more discreet with chiffon if I remember correctly lol! ;P

Hasn't Moffy finished sewing up new undies for you yet, there seems to be one helluva shortage of elastic around here lately. . . . . . hmmmm! xxxx

[Extremelygrumpy]

Moffy is busy plotting her royal title and drinking gin... I mean entertaining Gins ... So I am off for free soup at Sue57s

VG x

[Hidden in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

Is there room for one more on the back of your tractor VG pretty puhleeeze! xxx

[Ginsing]

soup here is vegetable do you think he is hinting to the Duchess should have been potatoe LOL

[Extremelygrumpy]

Maybe I should attach the trailer then we could all go round to sue57s we can drink Gins soup on the way and then have more at sues later

VG x

[Hidden]

So, now that we've recruited HRH into the crew, do we have to rename FibroAir as Royal FibroAir?

All cabin crew to be titled of course! As no-one else seems to have nabbed it yet, I am designating myself Countess Kaz.

Hmm, the last Duchess I heard of making soup - it was pepper soup, I think! I beleive it has a very bad effect on babies - lol!

[ladymoth]

Royal FibroAir- That sound's really classy!

Countess Kaz, you can be responsible for serving drinks on the flights. We don't want soup - we want gin and tonic. Mine's a large one with ice and lemon!

>>>>> flounces off in Dame frock>>>>>>

Mx

[Extremelygrumpy]

Well I hope fibro air has a generous baggage allowance for all my tiaras, and tablets, and bubble wrap... Not to mention a cargo hold full of gold plated knickers

VG x

[Hidden]

The extra baggage gets strapped on the outside using the spare knicker elastic!

G & T is just about acceptable, but the standard beverage aboard all RFA flights will be champagne from now on.

In addition, favoured passengers (frequent flyers and royalty) will be served complimentary chocolate horses!

[Extremelygrumpy]

Pokes everyone out the way with her stick and bags the seat with most legroom , converts into a bed and has a good film to watch.....and then tempts the others with the choccy horses.. I don't need to lose so much weight if you all suddenly put on more...

Cunning

VGx

[hamble99b in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

ahem! [waits politely], AHEM!

I don't seem to have a title yet - I'll settle for mrs prince harry or Lady S!

[Hidden]

Dame Moffy, Countess Kaz, Lady VG, Princess Libs, Duchess Gins - I think it is so far.

We need titles for Piggie and Sandra now please. Baroness still up for grabs, can we think of any more please?!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Anyone else please feel free to join in and take part in this insanity lol!

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

goosey goosey gander hasa line "in my ladies' chamber" so we can have more than one, hmmm thinks... yup lady s will do for me if lady vg will allow.

"once a king, always a king.

but once a knight is enuff!"

[hamble99b in reply to hamble99b]

or Yeoman.

but that was mashed potato!

[Hidden in reply to hamble99b]

lol! Lady S it is then, added to VG's list, she will be happy with that I am sure! xxx

[Hidden]

Ummm I am busy for one day and return to all these shinanigans!!!! Has anyone saved me a seat and a title? Not to mention a glass of champers and a choccy horse. Bags I get the seat near the loo!! Sorry HRH didn't see you ther!!

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I tried keeping VG under control Piggie, it's an impossible task lol! She's been in so many vehicles in 24 hours, I am exhausted just thinking about it!

How about joining me as a Princess - Princess Piggie! Sounds good to me, unless you can think of something else you'd like! xxxx

[hamble99b in reply to Hidden]

but, realise we might affectionally shorten it to PP so you will need that seat!

[rushbrook86]

i have a very large scooter class 3 i have modified it by using a spare battery i put two spot lights on now i can see a at night also the best one was a Claxton horn a very loud one and those very nice people who like to cut us up get the shock of there lives instead of a beep a blast of my claxton douse the trick it gets around i now get consideration so don't get rid of old batteries use them i have one in my lounge wired to a 12 volt florescent lights very handy in power cut

[ArctoLindy]

I actually know someone who has a motability scooter dalek! He's called Dave and I've even been in his garage!

davethedalek.co.uk/

[Extremelygrumpy in reply to ArctoLindy]

Is the scooter Dalek called Dave or your friend and you,ve been in his garage, do you mean entered his garage or did a wee in it??? Scuttles of to see dave the Dalek... I just hope Lindy isn't in the photo in the corner doing a wee

[ArctoLindy in reply to Extremelygrumpy]

LOL! The scooter Dalek is called Dave, I was in his garage so his owner could tell me if a stray Bengal cat I'd found was a girl or a boy. They'd lost a male Bengal but my stray was a girl - I found her owners about a week later I've been friends with Dave and his family since.

[Hidden]

My deah ladies inwaiting I the dukess have been waiting too long for prince H to bring his chopter around so have decided to reign chocolate horses to the royal fibro a..... and fly ova the palace and take a gander at the ladies chamber hoping that dave the dalek will keep the local police off mah tale so we can all attend the coronation with claxtons blaring and having the sun shining out of oops out from our golden knickers chin chin

[Sthandra]

Thanks for my smile it goes from ear to there .