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Struggling SO hard

Moomaa profile image
9 Replies

Hi.

I am new to this site. I was diagnosed with fibromyalgia in August 2017 after suffering for years with symptoms.

I suffer a LOT of pain when I am stressed, and at the moment my stress level is at maximum. I have my dear Dad in final stages of terminal cancer, my husband suffering depression and suicidal thoughts, and is waiting to go into alcohol detox any day now. He is also having tests and z camera to check for bowel cancer as he's having problems with his bowels & he has bowel cancer in his immediate family..... he lost his Dad, Aunt & both grandparents to bowel cancer so we are worried about that too.

I also suffer multiple health problems too which I struggle with every day too and I am on a mix of medication.

I have just been put on gabapentin for my fibro pain, and am already on zomorph ( slow release morphine ) and venlafaxine antidepressants 300mg a day.

I am struggling to deal with all this & dong know where to go for support with it all , especially my emotions.

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Moomaa profile image
Moomaa
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9 Replies
Pjik profile image
Pjik

Hi u have come to the right place good and caring people on here hope we can help take care

Moomaa profile image
Moomaa in reply to Pjik

Hi.

Thankyou for taking time to reply. I am finding each day so hard as I don't want to lose my Dad, but dont want him to suffer any longer either. We only found out 7 weeks ago he has terminal cancer in his stomach and lungs. No time to take it all in. My husband will possibly be in rehab when Dad loses his battle, so will only be allowed to attend the actual funeral service with a staff member then will be taken back again. I am dreading being alone at my darkest time.

Thanks again & sending you hugs xx

Pjik profile image
Pjik in reply to Moomaa

You can pm me anytime I am here for u

in reply to Pjik

Hi

I really feel for you , you have got so much going on it must be so hard. I'm always here for you. Take care. Love and hugs Lynne xxxx

Dinkie profile image
Dinkie

Hi Moomaa and welcome to the group none of us particularly want to be in. You are in the right place for support and advice. Regarding your needing help for your emotions, in our area you can self refer to Icope it may be worth you checking it out in your area. It is hardly surprising you are feeling overwhelmed with all that is going on in your life but you do need to take time for you. Even if it is a gentle stroll away from whats going on and a moment to gather your thoughts. I am sure others will be along to give you some helpful advice. Take care

Mandypandy1969 profile image
Mandypandy1969

bless your heart. stressful situations make fibo so bad. in 18 months I was never out of a flare but now the stress I had has subsided until the next time, I have had a few good days. you need some support. Go and see your g.p. again as you need support going through all these things. xx

Ramjets profile image
Ramjets

Hello Moomaa , you certainly have a lot to cope with and it's no wonder you are feeling so stressed my love. I completely understand your conflicting emotions with regards to your dad as I was the same with my mum. I didn't want her to go her but at same time couldn't bear to see her stay and suffer. It does take its toll and when you have fibro it is all the more difficult, especially when you have your husband to worry about as well . You do need someone or somewhere you can go to where you can unburden yourself. Has your GP offered any options for counselling or support? Is your dad getting any help/support from Macmillan? They don't just look after the patients but also offer support to patient's families - I've put link to their website where you can search for any local support groups in case you haven't done so already.

macmillan.org.uk/in-your-ar...

At the very least you can come on here as there will always be someone willing to listen and offer support. Take care, sending you big hugs. x

(P.S. I notice you haven't locked your post. You don't have to but for privacy purposes you may wish to keep it restricted to the Community as leaving it unlocked means it can be picked up on internet search engines. If so all you need to do is click on the "More" arrow at the end of your post and a box will appear with the option to edit. Click on this and then at bottom you will see "Only community members" so if you click on his and then re-post, it will lock your post. You will know it's locked as a little padlock icon appears at the top. If you get stuck I can lock post for you. x).

Lordy Lordy hun been there done that and have the t shirt..Not a lot you can do about dad however sad the situation is, do you have other family-brother sisters, mum? Is there a district nurse calling daily to keep his pain levels down?? Your hubby will be less to worry about when he has his treatment, there is light at the end of the tunnel, you must tell these people how their behaviour is affecting you, how would they cope if you wren,t around, we girlys tend to keep a stiff upper lip too much. Hubbys bowel problems will be the alcohol, when i first started nursing in the 70,s my first ward was alcoholic liver diseased men, many were not allowed visitors, those who were had to be searched and leave bags on entry, many brought in alcohol in small nips after being begged for supply, refuse to buy it no matter how much they kick off...Cruel to be kind,, I am sure his gp will give him meds to alleviate his dependancy and if he gets in pain then just call ambulance and let hospital sort him out, its a hard one living with a drinker...Is he onbaord with an alcohol liaison Nurse?, we have them locally.. Good luck hun, stay with us and have a good moan if you need to offload.

lyzzie profile image
lyzzie

Hye moomaa I am so sorry that you are suffering like this, oddly enough I have just been watching a piece on 'Look East' our local news on bbc about Fibro, how little it is respected, and that it is very misunderstood. Thing is, they also said that it can be triggered by stress which you appear to have in spades. You appear to be doing everything you, so to tell you to try and relax and look after yourself isn't going to help, but you can talk to people, this site is a wonderful place for letting off steam, they wont mind what you say [no swear words please] but will do their utmost to help you through this, give them a chance, rant all you want, there will always be someone to listen. Seriously though, try and make some time for yourself and a bar of chocolate, not much help I know, but take care of yourself.

Lyzzie & bugs, [fellow sufferer]

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