Just need a wee rant or I'm gonna go crazy.
My brother is married, 47 & has two sons, 16 & 14. He fell down 4 stairs in 2007, broke his neck & after 3 operations is now paralysed from the neck down.
Tomorrow his wife will take the remainder of her stuff needed & is leaving him taking both boys & dog with her.
My brother is helpless & can do nothing for himself. He has carers who come in 4 times a day, they get him up, washed & dressed in the mornings, call through the day to emty his bag etc & generally just check on how he is. They come back @ 7.45pm to get him undressed & into bed.
Him & I are the only 2 kids my Mum & Dad had, I am comming 50. My Mum has been going down every weekday morning to look after him, gettin his breakfast, giving him his medication & cleaning up.
He did'nt think anything was wrong until 2 weeks ago when his wife dropped the bombshell that she had got a new house & was leaving him because she does'nt like his attitude. Tomorrow they will all be gone & he is left on his own!
My Mum & I have promised him we will look after him. He is devestated but not surprised. She has been living the life of a single woman this past 3 years by going out every wknd & not comming home until 5 in the morning etc. Going on holidays with her friends without her children & my Mum (a pensioner) has to leave her home & my Dad to sray & look after them without even being asked. His wife stopped speaking to my Mum a year after the accident because she did'nt like her cleaning up. My Mum stopped it & only cleans the extention which my brother has had to have built on for his needs. Mum has it spotless but his wife keeps saying "There is more to life than cleaning & I dont clean" so you can imagine whats left for us to clean after she's gone tomorrow.
So now its left for Mum & I to look after him & stay with him at nights. Mum is not getting any younger but says while she has breath in her body she will look after him. Both my Brother & I have talked & agree that Mum cant do it 24/7. Yesterday he told me I am going to have to do more than we thought. A social worker has been out with him to see where things need to change due to his changes. Due to Government cut backs he cannot get care for 24 hrs just the care he is getting. It means I am goin to have to leave my home & stay over night, we could'nt leave him on his own. I wont give my home up as my son still lives here & I am divorced. I like my own bed & at times I need my alone & my own space times. Apart from the hard work we have ahead of us & new daily tasks I wonder how I am going to hold up with my fibro as I sometimes have days I cant get out of bed. I am getting myself into such an emotional tiz cos I dont k ow how I'm gonna manage in trying to put on a brave face for all concerned. My Mum cant abandon my Dad either.
What a bloody mess & state of affairs this is. All I can say is I hope she will discover the grass is not always greener on the other side. She has become a heavy drinker & I can see her possibly becoming alcohol dependant.
Sorry for such a long rant but I feel I am breaking up inside.
Hope you are all feeling not too bad yourselves & are taking things as easy as you can.
Luv & hugs