feeling down

Hello all Sorry to moan but don't feel too good today. Feeling a bit down. It was my mams 93rd birthday yesterday, and I with my two sisters went out for a meal. The only problem was, my elder sister who should really know better, kept talking down to my mam as if she was a child. She has never had a good relationship with her, but at 93 I wish she could treat her a little better. This makes me feel so sad. I feel as if I have to keep myself busy not to think about it. As you all probably know we can get upset easily. Just taking some painkillers as my back is starting to become painful. I would love to hold onto my mam for ever, but I know this is not possible. As I am typing my eyes are filling up so I will have to say bye for now. Thanks for listening. so sorry to be miserable in the morning. Karen xx

13 Replies

  • I know what you mean, I couldn't manage without my mum she means the world to me. Unfortunately we will lose them one day and will have to cope the best we can. Just show her how much she's loved while you can.

  • I lost my mom when very young, but still get tearful at times. you feeling the way that you do is understandable . I hope you feel better soon,

    Gentle hugs sue xx

  • I feel for you. I lost my dad 4 years ago now, and still forget he is not here. Your words are so gentle so your mam has obviously done well having you. I was a mother very young just turned 18 and now a grandma of 4. I did not stay with their dad, and he never sees them or his grandchildren. That I can never understand. However, we have a inner strength that tells us to keep going. Thanks for your kind words xx

  • Hi Karen

    Treasure every moment you have left with your mum, I lost my mum when I was only 27 and I miss her so much, like you my eyes are filling up, she passed away 30 yrs ago and it feels like it was yesterday. It makes me so sad when I hear or see someone treating their mum badly, your mum is your best friend and confidant . And stating the obvious you only get one.

  • You have every right to be upset, just keep loving your mum while you have her. I am a very lucky woman, I still have both my parents, my hubby lost both his parents in his twenties and early thirties. I know when it is my turn to face this major hurdle I will be devastated, my mum is my best friend :)

  • Thank you very much, everyone is so kind and supportive. I am going to take her out after work later in the day. She loves that. My dad I lost 4 years ago, and still miss him. He was the kindest man I knew, and nobody had a bad word to say about him xx

  • So the memories live on and long :) I tell my girls funny stories about my parents when I was younger. They love that as they will remember the stories long after the person has gone. So build up your stack of memories, enjoy taking your mum out and bask in her smiles :) Have a lovely time out today :)

  • Hi I am so sorry to read your post ,I understand completely which is a strange thing for people who know me to say as I never had a mum ,in the strictest sence of the word , I had the most amazing grandparents and a wonderful father but of course as a youngest I didn't realize it until I became a parent myself ,I never talked down down to my grandparents or my dad to be honest I would not have dared ,I had respect and like you so much love for them ,you obviously have a good realationship with your mum ,you should be proud of.my brother was the opposite to me ,and now he is riddled with guilt if I am any judge of character by his behaviour since they have gone , I am sorry you are so upset but do try not take on board your sisters guilt ,your mother would not won't that she like most mums will understand her children there strengths and there faults it won't change her love for any of you ,just concentrate on you and your mum your sisters issues are her own it not nice to witness but there is nothing you can do about her ,love your mum and enjoy the time you have ,I had a lovely retaliationship with my dad once I stopped my brother interference ,I was blessed ,my grandad I lost when I was 18 and my son is named after him my nana told me she got it right with me she had I have wonderful memory's of walks and garden sheds and making thinks with grandad and my fathers wicked laugh and being held and protected take care I hope you find some comfort maybe take you mum out to lunch by yourself next time take care Chris x

  • Your words are very wise. As I have said to the others I was a mam very young 18 and a grandma young too. I am 52 and have four grandchildren now, oldest 12. My husband I married when 18 did not turn out nice and we divorced. He has chosen not to see my children, who have done so well, one who is a managing director of his own company. or even my grandchildren. I look after two of them whilst my daughter is at work, picking them up from after school club, and always go to see their plays when my daughter is at work. I keep filling the snack drawer up when they come and visit, and have shown one of them who is only 8 to knit just yesterday. I am thinking of taking my mam out later after I finish work, just to look round the shops which she loves. We are lucky to have a big shopping centre near Metro Centre in Gateshead which is good. Thank you again xx

  • Hi Karen

    I just wanted to say that I feel for you and your situation.

    You have every right to feel down.

    I think you're right that we can get upset easily. I know I certainly do.

    Thinking of you


  • be grateful for your relationship, something I envy and will never have, but understand that your sister has had a different relationship to yours.

  • Hi karran12

    I just wanted to say how much I empathise with your situation and your feelings. I lost my mum such a long time ago and there isn't a day go by where I do not think of her and miss her so much. Please try to keep hold of the magical and beautiful times that you shared together and let them sustain you, although I understand that this is not easy.

    All my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • Thank you, I think you have to go through it to understand. My dad died four years ago, and I still miss him. xx

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