Hi everyone,sorry I hate moaning but this is such a good place to get it out. I'm still not good,feel so unwell in myself. I asked for a telephone appt with my gp and they couldn't do it for a week,will talk to her Tuesday evening. I can't believe how hard it is to get to see your gp these days. I'm not overly keen on her anyway but she does try to make an effort with fibro patients which is more than a lot of docs do.
I'm definetely not good with seeing friends at the mo. saw one of my friends on Monday but she is so ill herself I was just freaked out even more. Made me feel even lower. I then agreed to see a lady I met throu the fibro support group I go to. I've been putting off seeing her as didn't want to end up with another ill friend. Sorry if that sounds harsh but it's how I feel. I walked into the coffee shop and immediately saw an ex friend who hurt me badly,was the last personi wanted to see. We did talk but she made it obvious she didn't want me there and it just left me feeling worse. What I couldn't understand was I gave her a hug!! Why would I do that?? I can't stand her! What is wrong with me? I then saw another woman I knew who had also let me down,I couldn't believe it. We had a chat and she wanted my mobile number so we could meet for coffee but I bet you big money she doesn't get in touch,she has said stuff like that before and not called. I felt like such a doormat. Then the lady I was meeting turned up and I blurted all my stuff out to her. OMG what is wrong with me??? I just wanted to run out of there. She was giving me all this advice thati didn't really want. Then in came another woman I knew......I just wasn't up to it at all.
Note to brain at the moment I'm not up to seeing people other than my kids. I am not feeling sociable at all. I've given and given to others and now I'm going to stop. I have nothing left to give and I'm not in control of my gob either because I'm so nervous of people.
Two of my dogs are still in the kennels,I feel so guilty it's so cold at the moment but they do have heated kennels. I just can't go out in the cold,I just feel so ill. Next Friday I'm supposed to be asking Bambi to the dogs trust for an assessment for rehoming. I don't want to let her go,it's breaking my heart. I HATE this illness.
Sorry sorry sorry for being so negative but I know you guys will understand.