Feeling so down

Hi all boy what a day,I feel so down feel like crying but tears won't come, just so darn tired but I sleep all night!! Sore all over but my legs are getting a whole lot worse, walking up stairs is a nightmare,but I make myself go up them, and I don't really have a choice my loo is up stairs.

My hubby is being a pain right now not understanding, then he goes in a huff and we don't speak and that frustrates me I try to tell him how I'm feeling and it's as if there is bubbles coming out my mouth he never asks how I'm feeling, and now Iv got to the stage I don't tell him. He clearly does not want to know, right at this min I feel so alone, down and wish this would all go away, but it won't . Sorry for the rant but I need to get my feelings out I have no one else to talk to about this, well nobody that understands what this is like to live with.

Thanks granniecrochet.

20 Replies

  • Hi,I'm new on here but I feel for you, I know what you are saying and going through I think it can be a man thing,I'd like to see them walk a day in our shoes ! Mm maybe not all you would here is what pain I'm in every 5mins. Lol

  • Hi Granniescrochet

    I am so very sorry to read that you are feeling so down at this time, and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution and relief to the way that you feel? It must be so difficult when a partner does not reflect upon the way that a person feels when they are ill. So I was wondering how you felt about joining a Fibro group in your area? As everyone there would have Fibro just like you and have a greater grasp and understanding of the intricacies of the illness, and you may not feel quite so alone?

    I have pasted you a link below to the FibroAction support group cache:

    FibroAction Support Group Pages


    I want to genuinely and sincerely wish you all the best of luck.

    Al my hopes and dreams for you

    Ken x

  • So sorry that you're going through such an awful time Granniescrochet! Have he read anything about fibro and how it effects you day to day? He sounds very unsupportive which must in turn be making your symptoms worse.

    Are there any support groups near you that you could get to? When my husband was unclear about fibro and didn't understand or appreciate how difficult things were becoming for me I gave him 'a letter to all you normals ' or something along that line, sorry can't remember exactly what the title was, it really helped him understand, he's been good since.

    Would he come along to a GP or specialist appointment with you? Perhaps they could explain in ways of what support you really need day to day.

    I hope you've managed to wade through my waffling reply. I wish you luck with everything. Let us know how you get on.


  • Just throwing you a handful of star dust to light a dark corner.

    Here catch.

  • Sending you loving hugs.

  • My heart goes out to you. You're definitely not alone - we're all here for you and you have all our support. Feel free to have a rant whenever you want to, get it off your chest. But I know it's not as good as a hug from a sympathetic partner when you're feeling low. Do you have a friend or family member who might be more understanding and supportive ? Maybe there's a local support group you could go to. Really hope things get better for you soon x

  • Hi Granniescrochet I'm sorry to read this and agree it may be a man thing, but my ex is the exception that proves that kind of rule. I cant offer practical help but here are some lavender scented hugs to try to help you through. :)

  • Hi hunny, I know exactly what you're going thro. I have fibro and lupus. Some days I can't get out bed pain so bad and I have a partner who doesn't understand as well. I had an NJ bag not too long ago and feeling really sorry for myself but he still expected me to do the tea, housework etc. when u feel like we do it's very hard. I cry on a regular basis and it's thro frustration and pain, until they get something like we have I don't think they wil really understand. Hope u feel bit brighter soon. Love and hugs to u. Best regards Kerry xxxxx

  • hi i am so sorry i do understand i have had fibro for 10 years also and its hell i also have asthma osteophorisis arthritus perifual neuropathy thats severe nerve damage to my feet there are so many symptoms to fibro if you google 100 symptoms of fibro that might help you and sorry your husband cant understand but i supose if you dont have it you cant imagine the amount of pain you are .i know the pain rearly gets u down you need to cry watch a sad film on the tv as for stairs they kill me i get so tired i stay in bed and rest .try to keep away from stress that can cause a massive flare also my hearing is so sensative .i have joined facebook and there is a part for people with fibromyalgia we help each other and it helps if you need to chat i am here for you sending softest hugs to you i know even being touched hurts .

  • Granniecrotchet. My heart goes out to you. I know exactly how you feel because your symptoms are so like mine. It's the most wretched of illnesses and it's made worse because you look ok. The amount of times i've had said to me is countless. I'm sorry your husband isn't a bit more understanding but their are people on this wonderful site who do understand how you feel physically and mentally so please have a little rant whenever you feel the need. If it helps when im at my lowest I think of people who are worse off than me. I find that helps. Be strong and remember we are all here for you.

  • I agree with Mason in a way, you don't understand any pain unless it happens to yourself and until you have been there, I suppose people find it hard to be sympathetic. My husband was like yours, but my daughters listened and gave me lots of support and sympathy, I left things lying around for my husband to read and talk to him about different pains I get and I think he is starting to understand, some days I think he doesn't care and other days he does, so hopefully your husband will do one day. I get frustrated as I can't clean the house the way I used to as I just can't bend to do skirting boards or things on floors, my husband has good intentions and says leave it to him, but its in their time and frustrating for me, but I just have to grit my teeth now and not worry about stupid cleaning jobs, tho it is very hard. Good luck and keep your chin up, we all understand what you are going through and are here to support you xxxx

  • Hello Nobody will understand, because I think even the doctors under estimate how awful this illness can be. Being in pain constantly wears you out mentally too. I know exactly how you feel. I often cuddle a hot water bottle, not always because I am cold, but for comfort. Take care of yourself the best way you can. Karen xxxx

  • Hi granniecrochet. I know exactly how you're feeling I'm in the same boat as you. My husband is the same he says in the morning 'alright' but this is just a habit and he's not really asking if I'm alright, more a hello. He's so selfish too. Everything has to revolve around him. I've also stopped telling him how I feel as he's not bothered when I do tell him. I have FMS and a host of other things that are associated with it. My hip also hurts when going up stairs its agony but like you I force myself to do it.

    My husband is also mentally abusive and because of this I practically live in my bedroom so I am alone too with no one to talk to. I really hope our situation improves one day. lots of gentle hugs. Xaixai

  • {{{HUGS}}}

  • Hi grannie I do, it's like living in hell itself, I think he does care he just doesn't know what to do he doesn't feel your pain, and unless you have it you don't feel it, we feel like that towards the closest to us it's such a Lonley feeling pain but your not alone there's a huge family of us who live like this we get it, we're here keep on ranting xxx

  • Hi granniescrochet, I feel really touched reading your appealing cry from the heart (even if you couldn't yet cry out aloud, though I hope you'll find a way for your feelings to come out. I can imagine the frustration and feeling somehow muffled, when you are feeling those bubbles in your mouth, and when you try to express your feelings to your other half.

    I wish to extend my genuine heart and care for you...and add to the many expressions of heart and care for you coming from everyone here today, who also know how wearing this can sometimes feel, day after day...

    I wonder how you are feeling now a few more hours pass...?

    Do you find you fluctuate a little through the day?

    Here in Coventry, the sky is shining with sun for a moment and with me, that helps bring some relief, even if the experience can change hour by hour...I wonder if you are also somewhat weather and light and warmth, sensitive too?

    Well, granniecrochet, I also wish to thank you for expressing yourself with us, because by doing so, you touch many hearts and bring a sense of feeling together, each one of us, on our individual, yet also shared path.

    And this comes with kindest thoughts for you, hoping you feel some relief since earlier and at least feeling a little bit better because you are not alone...and in good company with other lovely people here on this site.

    Warmest wishes :-) xx

  • Aw you poor thing, big hugs see the doctor if the pain continues!

  • Hi {{{{{{{{ GC }}}}}}}}} :)

    Sorry you're feeling a bit low at the moment, things can get stressful and frustrating when living with a chronic illness that is difficult to explain........... yet alone understand for ourselves! :)

    My hubby flits from being over-caring to not-caring depending on his mood sometimes, which annoys the heck out of me and stretches my patience further than they should be stretched :o

    This forum is a sanctuary for fibromites to share how we feel and cope when these situations arise. I think it helps us to releive some of the stress that builds ups from the frustration of not being able to do things in the same way anymore.

    I see everyday with improvisation of some kind just to help get upstairs to the bathroom or to put clothes on or get washed even, cleaning tools made from other items like a back scrubber which is great for cleaning baths ;) My hubby would end up asking what they were for and the more I used these improvised props he got used to the idea that something was indeed wrong :)

    Stairs can be a very challenging obstacle at times I agree with you 100% on that one GC :) I have been known to go up the stairs on my bottom and come down backwards because it seems easier for me. Last year in Kendal I had to come down a very, very steep bank, not a big bank but a slanty steep slope :o I stood at the top and thought 'how do I get down there?'

    Fortunately I had both sticks with me so I went down backwards but sideways on :o

    I hadn't noticed a lovely woman following me and watching out for me until I got to the bottom. I was so absorbed in not falling over I didn't see or hear her :o

    She was amazed by the way I managed it, but not as much as me......... it was terrfying! LOLOLOL so glad to get to the bottom so I could breathe I must have held my breath the whole way down :D My folks of course paddled along just after the fact with a lot more ease than I did :P

    I proved to myself that I could do it and feel proud for doing it the way I did no matter how silly I looked :D

    Sorry for the waffle :)

    Hopefully you and the hubby can sit and talk about it somehow :)

    Wishing you wellness and hope that things get better for you soon :)

    {{{{{{{ GC }}}}}}}} Fluffie hugs

    xxx sian :)

  • Wishing you Bright Blessings and gentle hugs to help you through this low period. My wife is an ICU nurse of some years and still doesn't understand! I have stopped talking to her about it as I feel only fellow suffers can understand. We are just back from seeing both my parents in hospital who both had operations today from a car crash yesterday, fortunately all went well. But Reading hospital is huge!! I was exhausted pottering along on my stick then the hour home in the car and she asks me what's for dinner! I am upstairs hiding under my duvet and letting it out here like you! Best of luck and hope tomorrow is a better day😊

  • I'm late adding my thoughts (missed checking in for awhile), but want to send gentle hugs, GC ...

    I am so fortunate ~ w/a very understanding, helpful husband, family, a few very close friends. But I know others doubt my difficulties, because I don't often show my inner turmoil/pain. I feel badly for you & your situation, & hope that your husband's feelings toward you will soften & change, so that he can express sympathy & be helpful.

    I think perhaps he is concerned for you, but just doesn't know how to let you know. He is feeling helpless in his own way: some people just cannot function that way/express themselves.

    I'm glad you came here to share your feelings. I haven't been here that long, but I have learned this much. Everyone on this Forum is very caring & will help in any way they can, offer any insight possible. You may see a "glimmer of light or hope" in your situation ~ or get a few warm hugs ~ either way, it's usually positive.

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