Hello, I often read here and respond too members like myself who find it hard getting the point across how Fibro (let alone other health conditions🤣) can affect people on a daily basis , sometimes you feel like getting a big speaker (like they use on school sports day 😫)and shout are you listening , I’d like too think I am a decent person , a good listener , giving support threw my years too others , But it when it’s on the other foot its always amazes me how little it can come back Yep the times I feel empathy for so many members here when I read their posts , it is a good job we can talk here in our very big unwanted club. Today I stood my ground 🤣I have a long term friend who is very needy and likes everything her own way, every week it’s the same day , same time that suits her week , today I moved the time too help me as in the mornings I like too be fairly quiet and break myself in gradually in the space of my home . A few grumbles here and there from her but I’ve stuck too changing things, I think what I’m trying too say a person without health conditions will not get it unless they walk in the shoes of others, not sure if it’s an age thing too that I speak up more 63 yrs (40 in my head still 🤣 ) but if people want our company learn too adapt alittle , moan over 🤣xx
Getting the point across: Hello, I... - Fibromyalgia Acti...
Getting the point across
Good for you, standing your ground is never easy. I for one find my head screaming "no" and my mouth saying "yes of course", then wondering how on earth I got myself into such a situation 😂 I've just ended up fostering a dog because of the mouth speaking before the brain kicked in.
I've decided that this year I'm going to look after number 1 for a change and not do all the "just" jobs. You know the ones "could you just......" I seem to get loads of those every week from the family and friends. I have one good friend who herself has various health concerns so we do "get" each other and adapt our plans accordingly but others just don't seem to understand, even when we explain the spoon theory. To them if they can't see the actual disability it doesn't exist. Invisible illnesses are so difficult aren't they. More so fibro as one day we can appear to do something and the next can't do a single thing.
Onwards and upwards Yassytina
Thankyou for your reply, I get totally what you are saying 100%,too top my day my washing machine has just gone wrong 😉in general I do see the humour in life and still find time too laugh at things , including my football team last night losing too Man Utd, we were a championship team who joined the Ranks of Premiership a tall order trying too keep up with the big guns. Lots of hugs too you x
give the machine a swift kick - works for my daughter! Her machine has a mind of it's own and she's always calling to ask me to do her washing then whilst talking to me and kicking the machine it starts working. I'm sure all domestic appliances die as soon as the warranty runs out. I remember having my original fridge/freezer for 25 years, lucky these days if they last 5 years.
Good for you for standing your ground.
I wish I had the same courage. Not feeling strong enough to do that and feeling less and lead confident as the time ticks by.
I feel like my brain is so slow these days. At 58 I’m feeling like my life is over. Not looking forward to what the future holds at all.
I can sympathise. I'm not very confident at standing my ground. Fortunately my hubby is very good and will jump in and do it for me when necessary. I'm very lucky to have him. He finds it hard to understand my anxiety and depression but he makes allowances nevertheless and he's tried to find out as much as he can about fibro in order to understand it ( as much as anyone can! )
This one might give them food for thought 🤔
Thankyou for this x
well done hun, keep it up. 🤗🤗🤗
I know the feeling! Whether it's me or not, I don't know but the look of cluelessness on people's faces when you try to explain this strange, always changing illness says it all. It makes me feel guilty as though I'm a fraud and just moaning. If we had a plaster on our arm perhaps they would be more understanding but with no visible signs apart from - in my opinion of myself -when I look in the mirror and look old and haggard, people just don't "get it." Perhaps to them I always look old and haggard as I approach 67 but I'm still 21 in my head - I wish!! My rant over! Have a good day 😂
I’m not far behind you age wise, on a bad day I try not too look in the mirror 🤣, yes that’s the trouble in my head I’m so much younger in my thought s and try be a fun loving nannie too my little grandboys but every day is different and sometimes frustrating for sure. Xx
you are wasting your time. I went to a group one woman asked me how I was and I said the chronic fatigue was really bad that week, her response was, I know I have been 'tired' this week. at the same group another week I was told that maybe exercise would be good for my 'tiredness', when I said that it was chronic fatigue and that I didn't have the energy to do exercise 4 people in that group started laughed along with the 'oh yers'. the only person who I have come across who understood what I was saying is 1 man who worked at the Leicestershire pain service, he knew exactly what I was talking about because he had it as well. unless the person who you are telling about it has had it they have absolutely no idea what it is that you are talking about, it is a complete waste of time
Oh this is so familiar, I’ve given up now as people just go blank when you say how you feel but want you to sit and listen to how they feel! I had all these good intentions of joining a gym , and started off really well but then missed some because of really bad days but it’s so damn hard when none of your friends are exercise people so I find it hard to motivate myself 🥴 I keep thinking once the good weather is here I will be better. I went to Zumba Gold thinking the exercises would be less intense, ended up injuring my calf muscle so 4-8 weeks recovery 😤 even slow walking is torture!!! Okay my rant over for this morning. Stay safe and well everyone ❤️
Yes it seems we can be a patient listening ear for others even when we maybe not having a good day ourselves but yes your right does not work both ways, ouch that sounds painful and you did try , take care x
Yes that sentence ☹️my friends favourite one line , grrrr ,exactly beyond frustrating especially if if it was a support group you went too as well.
(Theoretically only of course), one part of me feels like strangling all those people for you. Good for that one man at the pain clinic. 🕊️🌺🕊️
Well done you!
If we don't set the boundaries, others will never get it.
Take care and keep it up
Gigi
So true...We have to put our health first...
Well done you for looking after yrself!!
Gentle supportive hugs to you my friend.
XxX
Wx
How you doing ? Sending some hugs right bsck at you xx
I am so in agreement with you Yassytina. I feel almost invisible sometimes and at other times not listened to. It takes me a while to get everything I am wanting/needing to say out. But often, I am interrupted mid-sentence. In exasperation I sometimes think out loud “For goodness sake, please LET ME FINISH!”
I have actually snapped back on odd occasion s (that’s not me really) but my friend is like talking too a brick wall sometimes 🤣glad we have this forum just too chat xx
that’s why I don’t make many plans anymore. I always feel bad when I have to change the time or even cancel plans altogether. I’ve got to learn to stand my ground too.
I agree. It’s so hard when others complain about having a cold or a sore shoulder or how long it is taking to recover from something that will get better. Like you I try to care and listen but sometimes want to scream about how I’m feeling and that it doesn’t go away. I often lie about how I’m feeling or keep quiet because people get tired of hearing the same thing from me and lose interest. They like to hear that someone is getting better not the same or worse.
I know , my friend texted me yesterday it was easier too say I’m okay , think we get tired of having too repeat ourselves for sure, if plates were cheaper I break a few every day whilst screaming x
Throwing plates - good idea! X
Well done you! I think its an age thing. After so many years of trying to please everyone, you finally need to please yourself. X
Well said! 💐
Sometimes I wonder what is the point!
What the....?
Hello :-)
What an awful tragedy!
