This might be a long post so please bear with me.im pretty new to this site. I've had fibro for over three years. I lost my career to it,I owned my own florist shop. I've lost my direction,I'm 44 years old and don't know which way to turn. I'm a single parent to a girl and boy aged 16 and13. I do have fibro pretty bad but I've been trying to improve things,I've lost 3.5 stone in weight,I see a counsellor,I've been going to the gym for over a month now. You would think things would be better wouldn't you but my mental health is all over the place. I've become obsessed that I don't have a partner,it plagues me constantly but deep down I know I couldn't sustain a relationship,who would want me like this? It's not only that,I've had two abusive marriages. The father of my kids left me for someone else when I had post natal depression. It hasn't helped that I saw them both yesterday,sheer bad luck really. But he left me ten years ago. Since then I've lost both my parents,my mum just over a year ago. I've not been good since she died and that's why I chose to get counselling. Now she has gone I am major lonely even though I have my kids. When the kids go to their dads I've become terrified of being on my own. I've gone from this fairly confident business woman to a neurotic shell. I am so embarrassed. I just don't know what to do next just got to hope the counselling starts to work. I've also been on a new medication regime with a metabolism expert to do with my thyroid. I'm trying so hard to make life better but I feel like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.
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