Feeling so low today

Well i am feeling really low today had an awful night hardly any sleep because of pain and fatigue, tried talking to my husband and there was little or no interest all i get is nothing i can do. Does he not realise i know that but just some comfort would not go a miss from him anything i don't feel like i have any support at all from him and i don't know what to do barring walking away and dealing with it all on my own. Sorry guys if i sound down on myself but that's how i am feeling today and to also be told from my manager that she can not keep my job for me as i am a care assistant for the elderly and i have to be in really good health to deal with all the strain and pressure, i do understand where she is coming from but finding i have this last week then my hubby like this and now loosing my job how much lower can it get for me because of it. All i want to do is cry i have not even told my sisters or brother as i know they would not understand at all, all i really want to do is see my Mum and speak to her but unfortunately my mum has passed away my father has dementia so can not even turn to him.Wow i am so alone and in so much discomfort whom can i turn to sorry guy's im a low of all low's

Can anyone give advise on what to do please need help desperately !!!

22 Replies

  • My advice for what it's worth would be talk to your siblings. They have found that fibro does tend to run in families. I am one of 5 in my family. Like you I didn't want to talk to the others. I have never been very healthy always sick as a child and I thought they would see it as me complaining. I finally talk to them and explained about fibro and how it makes me feel. Wow that seemed to be a eye opener for not just my siblings but their kids and grandkids too. So far 4 out of 5 of us have been diagnosed. Not only that but so far 2 of my nieces and a nephew have been diagnosed. Also several other relatives also. So it might be a good thing to gather up some information on fibro and have a talk with them. You might be surprised.

  • Thank you for that information and i will try with my siblings but we ave never really seen eye to eye we have never being a close family and they don't pay attention to my life i don't even live in the same county as them but i do understand where you are coming from and i will speak to them and give them some information on the condition see if it will make a difference.

  • Hi there

    I'm so sorry you are feeling so down.

    Please may I suggest a couple of things? Is it possible for you to see your GP today for an Emergency appointment. GP's will give emergency appointments for mental health as well as physical health.

    Another option would be to have a chat with the Samaritans just to give you someone to speak to in person. Here is the link for their number:


    We are all happy to listen but it's not the same as speaking to someone in person.

    Does any of that help?

    Lu xx


  • I have an appointment with my GP today this afternoon and going to discuss everything with her, as for the Samaritans i have spoke to them and they kept asking me what did i want to do and i told them not be like this, and i told them i just wish that even if was just my hubby to try and understand ive given him loads of info printed off, soon as i was told i researched even i like to know as much as possible to help me try cope better with it and i am trying but feel so alone & nowhere to turn

    Took my pain relief but nothing really working today all it's done is make it bearable but i suppose that is better than nothing. OMG i really need to try snap out of this and either try sleep now or think of better things in my life and pull myself around as i have got grand-kids to think of but i just keep thinking all i want is to be able to hold them and play with them without hurting all over the main parts are my joints everywhere and my kidneys as well as i have cysts on them which feel like they are being irritated like hell just like being kicked in my back.

    Does anyone have a coping mechanism that i can try PLEASE !

  • Hi again

    Do you mind me asking whether you take Amitryptyline?

    Please make sure you do explain everything to your GP as well as your feelings of not being able to cope.

    Much of what I think you are saying is that you have not been able to accept your limitations?

    That is something that many of us suffer with. I still struggle with it myself.

    Lu xx

  • Hi,

    Maybe you are right in me not accepting my limitations anymore as i was a very active person always on the go with work and yes that is a big part of it as that's all i have ever done from the age of 20 but now it's having to be restricted and i suppose it's messing with my head as well as everything is and i don't know how to cope with it all. And my husband is seriously not helping the situation as he knows what my work meant to me in my life,

    When my Mum was i diagnosed with C i took time out to care then after she passed i went back but into caring for elderly who was terminally ill end of life and now it's like i have had my life all mapped out for me and i don't know what to do.

    I have had Amitriptyline and they do nothing i have being given PREGABALIN to take on a night but as you can see they do nothing

    I hope my GP can help today

    Thanks xx

  • Did you take the Amitryptyline for long enough for it to get into your system? It can be given at very high doses so it can be increased.

    Sometimes people don't give meds long enough to kick in. This particular med can take a good 3 months to really start working.

    The best thing to look for is something that makes the pain manageable. There isn't a med that can take away all of the pain.

    Have you ever tried CBT? I was wondering whether that might help with acceptance?

    Lu xx

  • I was taking Amitrypyline for about year but never worked and they would give me higher my dose then they would lower it so i would never know all they used to say was don't want to get you addicted to higher dose no never tried CBT will discuss all other options with GP this afternoon.

    I suppose after awhile i will accept it i have no other choice to but accept it but right now all a big fat mess in my life.

    And your right about one thing even morphine only eases the pain as they gave me that when it put me in hospital last time with that much pain my GP never knew what to do so i was admitted for pain.

    lol xx

  • I promise to shut up after this!

    I just wanted to say that I think it would be great if you could push for some CBT and a referral to a Pain Management Clinic.

    If your GP doesn't know what to do for you medication wise why doesn't he/she refer you to a Pain Clinic?

    I'm guessing you know the difference between the above Clinics?

    If the morphine helped in hospital you could ask your GP to prescribe you some Oramorph for break through pain. The key with this is only to take it when you can't bear the pain anymore. Yes it is addictive, but if you tell your GP you are aware of this and see what they say

    Lu xx

    PS I've never heard of Amitrypyline being addictive! At a higher dose it's used as an antidepressant as well as for pain and sleep x

  • I'm sorry that you feel this way and that you feel there is no one to talk to. I often write a letter about how I am feeling, I put everything into it just pour out how I feel. The important thing is once it's written not to read it back just rip it up or burn it, it seems to release some of my pent up emotions. Might be worth writing one to your husband, telling him how sorry you are to have this unforgiving illness and you wish things could be different he may not be interested but at least you know you've tried. You could always take the letter with you to the doctor and let them read it to help understand your feelings and worries. It's often easier to write it down than say it. Hope you find some outlet that works for you xx

  • Hi

    Thanks for that suggestion i will try that in writing a letter because i suppose most men never listen to women any way so i will write him a letter and see if that gets through to him.

    I have loads of things going round in my head and i suppose in time i will realise that this is my life from now on as painful as it is, you see i was only finally diagnosed last week after years of pain but always put it down to my job but yet still kept going to GP so i told them i wanted a referral to see Rheumatologist and i got one they did what they need and told me they was sorry i should of being told a long time ago what it was then i would of known bit more. It's just that all has come at once this, loosing job and the fact that me and hubby was trying for a child but know i am scared about that as well now and he don't want to accept that it all might change, all i get is we will have our child but not looking on how it's going to make me feel and the discomfort and pain of it all as i have injections for ivf. This is what's making me so angry with him it's totally like he just don't care about my feelings and pain im going to go through even more than ever so going to speak to my GP this afternoon all about it even that he said was to busy just because he didn't want to hear what the GP say's.

    Thank you for advise going to try it


  • Just a bit confused, you say you have grandchildren but are trying for a baby? Can't you talk to your son/daughter about how you feel.

  • Oh dear, you really are in a pickle.

    Next time your hubby says there's nothing he can do, don't just leave it there, tell him what he CAN do to help. Have you had a good old fashioned heart to heart with him? Explained how you feel, heard how he feels then worked out something that's acceptable to you both? It is soooo easy to turn your back and be offended and sorry for yourself. It is a part of living with Fibro. We all go through it. There are many forum members who are truly on their own.

    I know it's difficult but please try to be as open as possible with those nearest and dearest. We struggle to understand what we go through so it's no wonder others are confused 🐸

  • Hi,

    Yep defo in a pickle and i am trying i have sat down and we both started to find things about Fibro that was after i was diagnosed but when we in the the Rheumatologist his face changed when she was explaining things so i don't know i will keep trying but i need my energy for me i just hope he can except it was i am suffering from and realizing that is a life changing thing for me and all i want to know is that he going to be there for me, it's weird because when i have being in server pain before and we didn't know why he was there now we know what it is he like don't want to deal with it this is what i can not get over or cope with when didn't know he was great supportive caring now it's no way not having that.

    The one thing i am is open i say it as it is how i feel what amount of pain im in and if i want to left alone. Yes i am struggling to understand it all and the big is WHY ? me i suppose, but I'm not the only one i know

    Thank you so much everyone for your help and guidance

  • Your hubby is probably struggling to get his head round everything too. I'm sure you'll get there in the end. It's not an easy thing to accept. Fibro may not be life threatening but it certainly is life changing.

    Next time you see your Dr ask to be referred to a pain management programme. That was the one thing that allowed me to get my head round it. The first session of the one I did invited your other halves too. We were all asked to go for a coffee while the team spoke to them, explaining what we were to go through and what they could do to support us. It is one of the best things you can do with chronic pain of all sorts 🐸

  • I know the feeling no matter how many peeple around you we always feel so alone and really apart from sit back and watch thats all the closest of family or marages can do i think the only way any 1 realises something is when they have been through it themselves . I have myself been verry low due to not wanting to accept this and due to pain so i have done what every1 should do and it is to post on ere where others no exaclly what you are feeling and going through so hugs to you huny when you not feeling too good X

  • Thank you i just can't seem to shift the loneliness feeling and i suppose the fact is no one else in family or hubby is having to go through it so no they don't know how i am feeling and today is a very bad day i am sat here now and my joints in my legs and hips are killing me my arms ache but my back is killing i just hope my GP can give me something to try help me as all new only told last week so ye it's a lot to take in and except but i will i think one day but i don't know when

    It's a very low day today

    Hugs back to ya thank god for this sight.

    I have found the worst time is when my husband sits and stares at me when im so much pain i have to tell him stop staring at me it proper annoying and makes me feel even worse well think am going for lay down try rest myself don't think will work might get in bath try to relax

  • You take care xx

  • Hi smurf45

    I am so sorry to hear this, it's seems to be only people who go through what we do that really understand, I have the same problem they make out they understand but don't act it or listen. Have you tried adult colouring it's very relaxing and can help take your mind off how your feeling .

    Or can you get out in the garden if the wether is nice.

    Best wishes and hope you find some help your sister s and brother might show and try to understand love karen x

  • Hi I just wanted to send you a gentle hug and let you know that I'm feeling exactly the same as you. I lost my beautiful mum in September last year and the pain in my heart is unbearable. I've cried most of this afternoon. It certainly is a little relief to cry so do let yourself cry if you need too. You truly are not alone in how you feel. I'm thinking of you, and sending you strength and courage to carry on this very rocky road. My family don't really understand the horrendous pain that Fibro causes us, and people often say to me that I look well so therefore I must be feeling well????!!!!! Please take care of yourself and please try not to be so hard on yourself. I think you are doing great considering all that you are dealing with. Big hugs. Amanda x

  • Hi smurf45

    I am so genuinely sorry to read of how you are feeling, and I sincerely hope that you can find some resolution to these issues. I was wondering on a practical level, have you applied for disability benefits? If not, I have pasted links below for both ESA and PIP:



    I was also wondering if you have considered joining a Fibro group to meet fellow sufferers? I have pasted you a link below to the FMA UK cache on support groups:


    I want to sincerely wish you all the best of luck, and please take care of yourself.

    All my hopes and dreams for you


  • Hi smurf45 I too understand what you are going through, I had to give up my job as the pain was too much. I have also had a baby whilst having a fibro, I someone asked me if I could would I have another I would have to say no. The pregnancy was hard. The birth was quick but took me ages to recover from and the first three months nearly killed me I couldn't cope. K is 7 now and after the school run I have to rest because it wears me out. I had to learn to pace which is frustrating when u have been active. Be self sufficient as I am only one that can push me. I found learning everything I can about fibro helped Knowledge is power and trying to find a positive in everything. This is how I did it and it took time. But your path is different to mine Firstly forgive yourself, mourn your old life and embrace your new one. Healing hugs and love😊 pos x

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