Fsh dilemma ...at my wits end. Need help badly. 😞

[Kilk22]

Hey everyone, I’ll try not make this too long. I’m 36 (for another 2 weeks 😏) low amh 4.86. High fsh last September of 17.2. Did cycle with icsi last sept (partner at time had dna frag 30%) 4 folicles, 2 eggs retrieved , only 1 good enough to fertilize , zero fertilization...end of story...absolutely devastated!!! Took break for 5 months and took and did the sun, moon and stars.....Dhea 75mg, ubiquinol 600mg, procieve max, fish oils, wheat grass, folic acid, vit d, melatonin, inositol, I think that’s them all 😓, I’ve always been a healthy eater but I included more green veg, kale and broccoli etc and I eat mainly fish. Practically dairy free and gluten free products. I exercise regularly and I did weekly acupuncture with a fertility acupuncturist for 5 months. Changed clinics and started estrogen priming protocol ...I was so hopeful. Last scan showed 4 follicles 🙁 I know it’s not the number but it was like a repeat of previous cycle, my partner and kinda me, said it was too much of a risk to go ahead ( 6 grand). If it didn’t work I knew he would never want to do it again 😖 so we cancelled. Even though we were told to abstain...we didn’t listen and went home and did the deed as nurse said I would def ovulate that day. Two weeks later, af arrived. 😭 anyway...sorry for rambling. I went to my doctor to get day 3 bloods done and my fsh has come back at 19. Something (can’t member exact )....I’m heartbroken....he didn’t seem to think anything of it as it correlates right with my LH and estradiol etc but I told him the last two clinics were worried with my fsh been 17.2 and it indicates ovarian failure and quality. Now it’s gone higher....what the hell am I ment to do??? I feel like someone is having a big laugh...after everything I’ve done...the expensive etc for 5 months....I cried so much yesterday. I even had a face peel / ipl thing done yesterday and it hurt a little but I burst into tears. The poor girl didn’t know what to say. I’m a wreck. I don’t think there’s anything more I can do to decrease it? I’ve read Chinese herbs etc but there’s no scienctific proof and it’s more money. I have an app with another clinic in May to look at my options in doing this alone (my partner is too hard to deal with over this, we’ve separated) so I’m going to see what they say. Anybody experience this before? Any help would be so appreciated. Xx I’m lost in life

[CAS2]

I'm sorry to feel this way

I don't have any insights on above but can you access any counselling services through the clinic you had your treatment with? See if they can support you with some coping strategies? It's so difficult isn't it?

[Kilk22 in reply to CAS2]

Yes I should def look into this and I know it’s mandatory anyway with going it alone. I always feel better after talking to someone , but it feels like one knock after another...😣 thanks for your kind words.xxx

[Lou7744]

Aww... sounds like you’ve been and still are having a challenging time. I hope you’ve got some good support around you, as the whole IVF thing can really take it’s toll.

I think it’s good to take some time out to get you mind and body back to a resilient point. Research as much as you can, as this will definitely help you in terms of next steps.

Sending you big hugs 💕 xx

[Kilk22 in reply to Lou7744]

Thank you ❤️❤️

[Hidden]

So sorry to read this and to hear that you have separated from your partner. I feel your pain, I really do.

You just have to remember that if you want a child that desperately, it will happen. In whatever form. You have many options, and age on your side. You can try a cycle using half donor eggs and half your own eggs. Once you are pregnant - with your own eggs or a donor - that baby will be yours. You will have achieved your dream.

It is possible. Don’t ever give up.

Thinking of you x

[Kilk22 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you Anna, that was lovely to read and makes even more determined. I will do whatever it takes. I’m a very determined person by nature anyway. 💪🏼 I hope I’ll be reporting back with some good news down the line. Thanks again xxx

[Kilk22]

Hi there, ya I’m ok...I’ve had really really bad times and not so bad times. But I’m getting there. Yes I went for a consultation with a new clinic and they were really nice and explained everything. I went home and registered on the donor sperm website and as I was looking I don’t know what came over me, but it didn’t feel right for me, I don’t know why or how but I just had this overwhelming feeling. It just didn’t feel like I was ready maybe or making the right decision for me. So I’ve decided to leave it on hold for a year. Maybe I’ll meet someone new in the meantime or maybe I won’t and if I don’t and I change my mind , I’ll go about looking into it then. Until then I’m going to enjoy myself and do whatever makes me happy. X

[Kilk22]

Funny enough I went and got my day three bloods done in April (my fsh levels in March were 19 and when the break up happened ) and my fsh came back at 9. Just under normal range. I was absolutely delighted obviously and shocked at how much it had dropped. Made me wonder can we really rely on numbers? I’m never going to stress about amh or fsh levels again. What will be will be...xx

[alohalu]

You have been doing such a great job with keeping up with all the supplements and diet. You should be so hard on yourself, I feel like your clinic is to blame for not giving you the right advice. Have you thought on going abroad? I'm from Spain and if the treatment through the NHS doesn't work for me, I'm already planning to go to a clinic in Valencia (Spain), where they have an amazing success rate.

[Kilk22 in reply to alohalu]

Hi, thanks for your kind words, yes I’m most definitely looked at options abroad and if I do peruse any treatments again, it’s definitely a possibility. Let me know how your treatment goes in Valencia. I’d be interested to hear of top clinics for future reference. Best wishes to you xxx