I hope everyone is aswell as they can be especially after what I know is a triggering weekend.
I guess I am looking for some advise for how did people know they were ready to move onto donor eggs?
I am 32 yo here for tubal reasons but egg quality appears to be a major problem. Partner also 32 yo sperm within normal parameters (dna frag not done but picsi on last round showed + binding to the dish and embryologist said highly unlikely any concerns).
We have had 3x rounds: 1st round 13 eggs total fertilisation failure with ivf, 2x round icsi 8 mature eggs 4x fertilised but only 1x D6 5bb which was transferred as FET ended in early biochemical, most recent round picsi and only 6x eggs with only 1x fertilising and not developing beyond 5 cells. I also have a problem with very high eostradial despite relatively low egg numbers.
Really tired from the journey and trying to take a momentary pause but really hard to have a break/concentrate on life.
Our clinic has suggested we get a second opinion and they would suggest donor eggs. Really keen to hear from other ladies my age who have been told to move onto DE.
Thank you very much x
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Dragonfly1111
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Hope you get some helpful replies as this forum is an excellent source of information and peer support .For more information about donor eggs and support please take a look at hfea.gov.uk "Using donated eggs ,sperm or embryos in treatment "
hi, I’m sorry this has been so tough. My consultant jumped on my suggestion to move to DE when I was 42. I had 3 rounds at 39 for my son and then had another attempt with 3 embryos but all failed and due to my age at 42, it had been on my mind. I mentioned it to the consultant at my review and he really pushed forward with it, but I was significantly older than you are.
I would also get a second opinion because you seem to have good numbers and there may well be some options that another clinic want to pursue?
I know my story is different but I can 100% say that I love my DE daughter in equal eternities to my OE son. I used to see DE for me as ‘plan B’ but now it feels like she was absolutely meant to be. So DE could always be an option and I can completely relate to how arduous and exhausting the IVF pathway is, my own resilience was rock bottom. But you are considerably younger than I was and this is a major factor.
Hi KitKat, thank you for taking the time to reply and sorry to hear of your long journey aswell. Yes think next step is defiantly getting a second opinion and will take it from there. That is really lovely to hear of your love for your son - I don’t know anyone personally who has used DE’s so really re-assuring to hear your experience. Thank you x
I’m 41 in May and currently in Athens stimming for cycle 7! My husband and I are mentally, physically and financially exhausted.
We’re sending any embryos off for pgta, transferring the mosaic we have frozen and if that doesn’t work then we are moving to DE. We have hands down tried absolutely everything possible with our own DNA. If DE are the only way for us to become parents then that’s the route we will take.
We had 3 cycles in the UK before coming here and I honestly feel that when UK clinics are at a loss of what to do with you they just suggest donor eggs or donor sperm.
I would honestly get a second opinion. There’s lots of things they can do to help with poor fertilisation (I know here in Greece they do a lot more than the UK is willing to do as their laws aren’t as strict!) You get a good number of eggs, you just need some extra help getting them to fertilise. Wishing you lots of luck xx
Hi HelzBelz, thank you for taking the time to reply especially as you are going through treatment! Wow you must be incredibly resilient to complete 7 cycles - fertility treatment is beyond exhausting in every aspect. Wishing you the best of luck for your current cycle! That is really interesting to hear about Greece - I have heard really positive stories for care abroad. I think like you said being ‘less strict’ may be helpful as feel like my body doesn’t fit within all expected boxes/research but the thought of travelling for treatment is quite overwhelming. Do you mind me asking how much time you have roughly had to spend in Greece for each cycle? Have you used any additional tools to help fertilisation - I have read about AOA. Thank you again x
It really is exhausting xx I would honestly do one more but it’s becoming selfish now.. my husband really struggles with it all.. much more than I do.
The care here is honestly amazing. We’ve never once felt like it was a business. The team are so empathetic and really do care. We see the consultant after every scan where we have the opportunity to ask questions etc.. we didn’t see a consultant once in the UK. I’ve had egg collections on weekends here.. were as in my old clinic they only done collections on certain days.
So our issue is mainly egg quality after years of undiagnosed endo. I respond really well to stims (i’m on two at the minute as it evens out the follicles). The clinic uses ICSI as standard and zymot to help select the best sperm.
We done pgta testing last cycle and plan to do it again this cycle. I had a hysteroscopy at christmas and biopsies taken. I’ve got high cytokines so will be doing a full immune protocol before transfer. I also struggle to thicken my lining for transfers and the clinic offers ovarian PRP for that.
They do use AOA and calcium ionophore but i’m not sure how much they cost as we’ve never needed anything like that as we don’t have fertilisation issues. Our issue is poor embryo quality probably from poor egg quality.
Length of stay varies. In December we were here 10 days but that was because I had a hysteroscopy 2 days after egg collection. This cycle my left ovary is slower respond so i’ll be here 11 days in total (excluding transfer). Consultant wants to push me a bit longer to try get as many blasts as possible for pgta. For a FET I have only ever stayed 4 days max.. my friend was only here 3 for her FET!
The logistics seem stressful but it’s really easy.. you just have to be organised and ready to go last minute xx
My daughter also has treatment in greece and it's actually really straightforward, egg collection we were there for 8 days, she had to have a freeze all and transfers have both been 5 days. The clinic she goes to is incredible and agree with HelzBelz on the level of care. My friend also had a long journey with the same clinic and she did end up doing DE in the end and has just given birth!
Hi there. I recently became mum to a donor conceived daughter. I used donor eggs after 5 own egg retrievals and I can't remember how many transfers. I never had a positive pregnancy test until my daughter. I produced plenty of eggs but much fewer embryos of poor quality. I moved to DE because I was tired. I had 6-7 years of trying without a single sign that something works. I was 40 when I made the decision 41 when I got pregnant. It took 2 transfers. The decision is never purely based on medical factors, it's also the financial and emotional aspects. How long you can afford and have the strength to keep going.From what I have seen doctors will recommend DE when you don't produce eggs or embryos or you are over 41-42. They tend to down play the role of sperm or rather they seem to believe that a young woman's egg will compensate for sperm.
In our case we had my husband's sperm stored and used vials from the same sample for my last OE cycle and then when that failed the donor's. So same parameters for the sperm. The difference was telling. With a similar number of eggs I had one early blast. The donor gave us 7 full blastocysts.
If I was 32 and had the budget I would definitely try again before moving to DE. I would also explore more what could be done for the sperm, if anything. In any case I would get a second opinion.
If DE is your way forward I would recommend joining DCN first. Donor Conception when successful might be the end of a fertility journey but it is also the start of another complicated journey.
Hi Tnthketnf, thank you so much for taking the time out to reply and congratulations on your recent daughter! It is really interesting to hear other ladies journeys and hadn’t thought of it like that but makes sense that it is a multi-factorial decision. I think a second opinion will be really helpful about if we want to go through another round. Thank you I have taken a brief look at the DCN and found it really helpful so will defiantly go back to it if it is the route we go down. Thank you again x
Hey, while it's completely up to you and I totally understand the emotional strain you're under (I was 29 when I started trying for a baby, 30 when I started IVF, and 32 when I got pregnant via ICSI-IVF), you are incredibly young. I know time will feel like it's flying by and, if you've been trying for awhile like I was, you'll feel older than your years. But, if I were you, I'd still give it another go with my own eggs. Like KitKat10 said, it's worth looking at improving sperm quality as well, even if there's no obvious problems, as the eggs are only half the equation. I don't know if you're taking any supplements or made any lifestyle changes, but that'll help with improving egg quality too. I know it's a long, lonely road, and I would not blame you if you wanted to go to DE now, as I've been ready to sack off IVF before too, but you've definitely got age on your side. Best of luck x
Hi cyclingaddict, thank you so much for your reply and congratulations on your pregnancy. Time really does feel like it has been flying - it has been a pretty grim 3 years. I tried have tried all the supplements/healthy lifestyle (no caffeine/no alcohol/ no refined sugar/med diet/accupuncture) and it didn’t seem to make much difference but think was helpful to feel like I had some control. I am taking a bit of break whilst planning next steps as realised I was living such a restricted life. Thank you again x
Hi lovely just to add like others suggested maybe abroad treatment before moving to donor eggs. I had 2 rounds in uk with only 1 blastocyst each round (second round it was actually morula) and nothing to freeze.I was still quite young at the time about 32 and 33 for the second round. I also thought my embryos weren't great as they found no issues with the sperm in uk. I then moved to another clinic in slovakia (my home country) and had 2x rounds but back to back. It has been proven that this way especially on second round if you have issues with getting to blastocyst stage it might give you a boost. On my first round I had 2 blastocyst but the second round I had 7 blastocyst ( out of only 9 fertilized eggs) we have also done a magnet treatment here where sperm are flashed through "magnet" and only healthy sperms goes through and also done icsi which we haven't in uk and I had so much better results. Still no pregnancy yet but I have 6 still in freezer. Good luck and don't give up yet. However just to add if the 6 embryos will not work I am also considering donor eggs so however we get there we will have that baby one day 😊.
hello, my first egg collection ended in one day 6 blastocyst which ended in early miscarriage. My second cycle I had two day 6 blasts frozen and they did a FET with the first which worked and she’s now 12 weeks old. I had an issue with egg quality, my embryos didn’t develop well and on day 3 they were all under 6 cells. On my second round I worked with a fertility nutritionist who I can absolutely say she is the reason as to why we had success before starting our DE journey. She also found I had a thyroid problem and helped me get that under control which was causing a lot of inflammation in my body and therefore causing poorer egg quality. She helped with supplements and life style changes for my specific circs and she was the absolute hero in our fertility journey! If you would like her IG details to reach out let me know.
Hi, I was 35 when it was first suggested I move to donor eggs due to my low reserve. I didn't until 7yrs later, and 3 cycles in using donor eggs, I've not been successful. There's no right or wrong answer, but I personally wish I'd tried sooner. I had 3 cycles with OE, had multiple procedures in-between and breaks due to pure mental exhaustion. I wish you luck in whatever you decide ❤️
Sorry for your struggles; it has indeed been a tough weekend. I have the same problem; I am just not getting mature eggs. It's worth shopping round the world to find a clinic that would at least try to attempt maturation. I am going to one in Spain, the UK have methods that are prohibited.
They are also are hell bent on finding out more about my health to get the best opportunity. They have noticed I have a gene mutation which causes miscarriage when it does implant. My clinic in the UK wanted the money but didn't want to make the links as to why.
I wish you all the very best hun, please message if you want. Sending big loves x
Sorry to hear you have been struggling. Have they advised you on possible reasons why the fertilisation numbers are so low using ICSI and PICSI? I think that’s the key at the moment. Of course if this can be improved then it’s worth trying again with OE but I understand you wouldn’t want to do this over and over if it’s not going to work with OE. The advantage you have is age is on your side, you do have a bit of time to make decisions and can always move to DE when you feel it’s necessary. For now I would try to get to the bottom of the fertilisation issues. It could be egg quality but there are other reasons to also explore before going to DE I would say.
hi, I only did two rounds with my own eggs before moving to donor. I couldn’t see wasting money on more when outcome was so low. For me, it wasn’t a big deal, but I know for others it is - good luck with whatever you decide.
Hi, my nearly 4 month old daughter from a DE is sleeping on me right now ☺️
Personally I did 2 cycles before moving on to DEs. Both times 9 eggs, 3 fertilised and one morula the first time and a morula and ‘average’ blast second time. None worked. I was 43 (now 44) so age played a big part in my decision to move to DE. But if I was younger I would have tried another round first. 3 max I think though. The decision to move to DE was easy for me - it seemed like the natural next step and I was so excited to have a plan and think it might actually work this time! I didn’t have money to keep throwing at it endlessly. Anyway, it was meant to be- otherwise she wouldn’t be her - my special, cheeky little girl! xx
Hi. I know how difficult that is. I have gone through this and still going through it. My OE got me only one unhealthy embryo in 7 cycles so we tried donor eggs and got me 3 embryos but not tested but unfortunately we are still not pregnant going through miscarriage now. Looking to do more with DE as I’m 39 now. I doubt my own eggs will do me any success though I have a gut feeling that it might but following science now. Good luck in your journey hang in there it’s tough but we are going through it so knowing we are not alone is helping me at least.
it’s such a personal decision and there is no right or wrong answer. For me, I didn’t want to spend my life thinking ‘what if’ so wanted to try a few times with my OE first. After 5 rounds with very poor results (egg numbers fine but we struggled to make it to blast) I just knew in my heart that it was time to move to DE. It’s hard because there is always a chance the next round might be ‘the one’ but we’d already spent so much time, money and energy and tried everything we could think of and nothing was helping. I think my endo had just ruined my egg quality. I’m currently 19 weeks with a DE embryo and have 13 pgt tested embryos in the freezer. There are times I feel sad about the loss of my genetics but I know that I won’t love this baby any less. I’ve found great support through pathstoparent hub - it was set up by Becky Kearns who had had three daughters via DE
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