Ttc 18 months

[Shewhomustnotbenamed]

Hey this is my first post but basically looking for reassurance from others in a similar situations.

My partner and I are both 28 and we’ve been ttc for 18 months.

I have super regular periods 27-29 days which last around 5-6 days, I sometimes get quite severe ovulation pains. A few years ago I did go though a bout of severe periods and pain but after being sent for an ultrasound which showed no cysts my dr just prescribed me pain killers, after a few months my periods seemed to settle and I stopped having such long periods and severe pain etc.

I’ve had a progesterone/ovulation blood test which came back with a score of 40 something and recently had an hsg (dr wouldn’t give me a definite answer to what he saw but said my right side seemed “jumbled” but my left clear but said it could be the image then after a minute or so said he thought it was “all okay”) I won’t be able to see my gyne again until the middle of July (sadly I’ve had to wait about 4 months for this second gynaecology appointment).

My gynaecologist also referred my partner for a sperm analysis and we’ll get more info when we get back to see the Dr but my partner rang his own Gp to see if he could give him any info and his own Dr didn’t want to see him and the receptionist said there’s “no issue” his dr is notoriously bad at giving info, sending for tests etc though.

At the moment I’m just having a lot of anxiety with the “what ifs” and the “what next?” Feeling, I don’t know what our options will be, what we can do, what our issues could be etc and having to wait and wait for results is really getting us down. I feel as though it’s never going to happen and bounce between feeling like there must be something terribly wrong with one of us and guilt that we didn’t start to try sooner.

Has anyone else been in a similar position to us? Or have anymore basic info? Sorry this is so long winded and verbose, I needed to get it all out.

Thanks in advance

[Sunshine92]

Hi lovely, im 26 and been TTC for 9 months. Dr wont refer until we’ve been trying for a year, but like you i have super regular periods - 30 days, what i thought was ovulation pain and fit and healthy. I cant understand why on paper im textbook perfect to get pregnant but im not.

I paid for a private scan which found i have mildly polycystic ovaries. I paid to track a maturing follicle and ovulated on day 20/21. So all along what i thought was ovulation pain on day 14/15 was not. They thought my luteal phase was short, but my acupuncturist said 10 days is fine. Hubby had a private sperm test and that was perfect. Meanwhile a colleague at work has announced shes pregnant with twins, it was a shock and shes not happy at all 😞 id give anything to be in her position.

Your progesterone levels sound perfect so you are ovulating! I feel the same as you, that it will never happen and all we want is answers. Keep pushing, dont settle, and do your research .. ask them for the tests you want, go with lots of questions. Wishing you lots of luck xx

[Shewhomustnotbenamed in reply to Sunshine92]

Thanks so much for responding, I guess it’s a waiting game now 👍🏻My first appointment with the gynecologist was a few months ago and he said he’d expect to see my in 8 weeks but when my appointment came through it was for the middle of July, it’s been the longest few months of my life (without sounding dramatic) he was a lovely and kind Dr, I mentioned the fact I thought I needed to lose weight and he said he couldn’t see an issue there as I have regular periods but I’m going to try and start to lose some without becoming obsessive, I’m a size 14-16 so it really wouldn’t hurt anyway.

I feel your pain on that front, lots of people I know are getting pregnant and I’m so pleased for them but I feel so sad every time.

My sister has 4 children too and the longest she ever had to try was 3 months so i really feel like a complete failure to be honest

Good luck to you on your own journey too xxx

[jengi]

Hi, the early investigations are worrying and everything seems to take ages. In the mean time try and find some ways to keep your mind busy but also finding ways to keep calm , stress free and relaxed. I've been trying mindfulness and yoga. I also bought a couple of books which I've found help. However, my life saviour has been this forum. The ladies on here are so unbelievably knowledgable, supportive and caring. There were a few things I did early on which included cutting out alcohol, caffeine and eating as naturally as possible. I take some vitamins and minerals, including a vitamin D spray, extra B12 alongside the pre-conception folic acid etc. I also take Co-enzyme Q10. Remember everyone's journey is so unique. I wish you the very best, hugs Xx

[Shewhomustnotbenamed in reply to jengi]

That’s so lovely of you, thank you. I’ve stopped drinking alcohol but I 100% should cut out the coffee or go decaf, thanks for the advice on the vits too

Xxx

[Shewhomustnotbenamed]

For those who saw my post last month to let you know I had my gyne appointment last week.

Sadly she didn’t have any answers for me she said there’s no issues that they can find at all with me or my partner and they’ll now be referring me to university hospital in Coventry she said to maybe go forward with ivf, she had no idea of how long we’ll be waiting for an appointment, told us 50% of people who get to this stage have their infertility classes as “unexplained” and then said she didn’t want to “be a bitch” but as I won’t qualify for treatment unless my bmi is less than 30.5 and mine is currently 29.5 I should consider losing a few lbs (she said this whilst looking me up and down) and then when I asked further about my hsg results she said I was hyper sensitive to the words the dr who did my hsg used and he was obviously just referring to the image (he made a comment about it looking “jumbled”.)

Our appointment only lasted about 5 minutes too so we both came out with mixed feelings, including basically that we still don’t know what’s wrong with me/us and now i feel terrible and I’m a massive emotional eater so all I’ve done all week is eat and cry and feel guilty for being fat!

Feeling so negative now, like we’re massive failures and I don’t know if we should even go forward? Keep getting comments from friends and family too about how it’ll happen “when it happens” and it seems as though every woman near me is getting pregnant too, I don’t want to feel bitter but I do then feel guilty again.

Venting, sorry!

[Anonymous29 in reply to Shewhomustnotbenamed]

I literally feel your pain!! I don’t get periods so I’m not ovulating, and my doctor thinks it’s due to the implant I had out last September. I’ve been referred to a fertility clinic who said ‘lose 2 stone and come back in September ‘. I’m a size 18 ish so I do need to lose weight but I’m not convinced that’s what the issue really is, however maybe that’s just me being sensitive cos the ultrasound and bloods came back clear. Just feels like everyone is pregnant around me (including my sister in law) and I’m really struggling to not be devastated for me and my partner. I get all the comments of ‘it’ll happen soon’ and it breaks my heart every time, so I turn to a bottle of wine and takeaway which is the last thing I need! I really hope you start to get some answers soon but I’m here if you need to talk ☺️ XX

[Shewhomustnotbenamed in reply to Anonymous29]

Thank you ❤️

100% I ovulate, have regular cycles etc but I just want to fix whatever is wrong I’m a 14-16 and I’ve love to be a bit fitter but I don’t really have a problem with being a bit bigger, I’ve lost weigh in the past but I’m 5ft8 and quite broad and I just look terrible as it seems to come off my boobs and bum when I was a lot younger I had a really really unhealthy relationship with food and I just don’t want to get back into that controlling mindset.

I think it stung even more coming from the Gynecologist we saw this time as she was very slim, very pregnant and very abrupt! She didn’t seem compassionate at all, I understand everyone has a job to do but I was so looking forward to a positive appointment and a to do list and lots of info and I just feel like we know nothing and it’s worse than ever.

I came off the implant 4ish years ago now and my periods were all over the place for about 8-12 months, it took a little while for my cycle to settle if that makes you feel any better?

I’ll be round later with a bottle of wine and a pizza

Thanks for your reply ❤️

[Hidden in reply to Shewhomustnotbenamed]

Hey! I am a lot older than you (38 - boo ) but we were also unexplained, with similar inconclusive HSG - One side was fine - but the other side we needed a hycosy to confirm it was open. It was open but seemed to take a long time to get the fluid out so we were non the wiser as to whether this was normal or not.

We completely changed our diet and it was hard - I stopped drinking and having coffee which cut down my social life a good bit. Took loads of supplements and tried to exercise and relax as much as possible.

We were referred for IVF (even though we were unexplained) had one cycle and it didn't work. The cycle directly after we had a natural pregnancy. So I def think the IVF kick started something for us. I knew when we embarked on IVF that we would at least learn if the sperm and egg were fertilising so that was the main reason we went ahead.

I am early days in the pregnancy - so not even getting excited or ahead of myself. Just taking it easy and living from scan to scan.

I don't believe in the 'relax it will happen' BS that people say so just disregard that.

Don't loose hope - I hope our story helps (even though we were older than you guys). I know how hard it is being unexplained.

xxx

[Shewhomustnotbenamed in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much and congratulations!

I think I 100% need to look after myself a bit more, with all these horrible feelings I’ve had about it all I’ve lost track of how important that is.

❤️

[Hidden in reply to Shewhomustnotbenamed]

I think if you focus on yourself and looking after yourself you will feel better anyway

xxx

[Anonymous29 in reply to Hidden]

Ahhh congratulations, it’s nice to hear a happy story ☺️ Xx

[Anonymous29 in reply to Shewhomustnotbenamed]

Ah thanks, hopefully we’ll both get sorted soon and get what we want ❤️ Xx

[Hidden]

Hiya, if you can go and get checked out privately I would! I'm 29( 28 when ttcing) and I have a problem with my tubes, everything else is fine, I have a high ovarian reserve and ovulate, husband also has good sperm- I've already got a 4 year old. I was following doctors recommendations like it takes time etc, but deep down I knew something was wrong so thought f#** it, as we were so fed up and went privately. I've got embryos frozen now and we'd still be ttcing wasting time and going crazy going through an emotional rollercoaster, don't waste any time getting checked out! I wish I would have done it earlier! Don't listen to doctors saying wait a year or two years, looking back I think what the hell why not get checked out!