Oh my !

[ButtercupKid]

Burdened down with Black Dog, rising agoraphobia, Panic Moth, grumpy thigh muscle and worry about my poor car, which is dying and for which we have no money. Dragged myself out anyway and managed 10 minutes of jogging. Came home in tears feeling fat and stupid. I’ve picked up a bit since, because I remember 1:1 ! I’ve recorded today on Strava as Recovery 1 - aiming for 15 minutes on Wednesday. Watch this space. 😄

[Buddy34 Graduate]

You are none of they things that you described yourself , you are a wonderful person who only a few weeks back graduated from c25k , get a rest and go out on Wednesday if you can good luck 😊😊😊😊

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Buddy34]

Thanks Buddy x

[Hidden]

With everything going on in your life, you still went out running! That's brilliant x

Ps. I started back today too, so let's keep each other motivated 😊

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Hidden]

Glad you were out there too ! We’ll beat these Black Dogs together x

[AlMorr Ambassador Graduate]

O dear BCK, that black dog just won't disappear, the Panic Moth is also still around and to make matters not any better your car is dying. You don't seem to have enjoyed your run today but at least you got out and had a jog.

Believe it or not, this morning I went on a 45 minute walk up the River Forth Walkway at Stirling, at halfway I turned round to go back, put my Smartphone onto the C25K app and ran back with Laura on the app with week 2, run 1 everything went OK with the run, that's the week with 6/90 second runs, so I got back to where I began the walk in 35 minutes, compared with the 45 it took me to halfway.

I hope things get better for you soon.

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to AlMorr]

Great work AlMorr ⭐️ Sounds like a lovely place to run too. You’ll need to post a photo sometime 😀

[AlMorr Ambassador Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

Yes I would like to take photos, I do have many photos on my Facebook account which is:-

[e-mail]

Is there a way I can put photos from an Android Smartphone onto this C25K page?, that way you would see the place where I run near my home, it's a 5K picturess route which I told you last month I was calling "The ButtercupKid 5K trail.

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to AlMorr]

When you start writing a post, you’ll see a little icon of a camera at the bottom left. Click on it and it’ll let you choose whether to take a new photo or post one that’s already saved on your phone x

[AlMorr Ambassador Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

Thank you for your reply ButtercupKid. 😊

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to AlMorr]

It took me a few goes to really get the hang of it, but it’s simple enough in principle ! Hope to see some of your world very soon x

[AlMorr Ambassador Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

Yes indeed, I now know "I think" how to take photos, so tomorrow morning I'll take 5 photos, 1 for each kilometer of the route I ran which I am now calling "the ButtercupKid 5K trail," most of when I was doing C25K including my PB 5K but not my graduation run, that was ran 25 miles away in Helensburgh.

I wii just walk it, take photos and attempt for the first time to post the 5 photos I take to you and everyone else to look at.

[AlMorr Ambassador Graduate in reply to AlMorr]

If you look at another post I have posted this evening, thanks to you I went into my photo library and sent a photo of my neighbour's dog Holly, the post is TESTING. the test seems to have worked, thanks again BCK 👍

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to AlMorr]

Excellent ! Glad it worked x

[AlMorr Ambassador Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

👍

[SeeJillRun Graduate]

It’s a testament to your strength that you still got out and ran, even with all that going on. You are none of those things, they are just challenges your brain is putting in your way cos it thinks you need protecting from something scary. You are bigger than all those things and you can beat them. Keep doing what you’re doing, you’re doing amazing!!

PS If you haven’t already read it, have a read of The Chimp Paradox by Professor Steve Peters, I think you might find it helpful

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to SeeJillRun]

Never heard of it - I’ll put it on my library list immediately ! Thanks for your encouragement x

[SeeJillRun Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

You’re welcome. I really admire your strength in the face of your challenges, and that despite everything you have going on you still give so much support and encouragement to so many people on here. Very happy to give some of that back ☺️ x

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to SeeJillRun]

Much appreciated x

[Ethelbert Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

I'd second that recommendation - fab book, and I can just see you telling your chimp where to get off!

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Ethelbert]

The mind boggles 😄

[cheekychipmunks Graduate]

BK, you are an amazing human being with what sounds like a lot going on in your life at the moment. Please don’t put yourself down, you still took time for yourself and you ran. That clearly took a lot out of you, but you did it! That’s fantastic. 👍

I’m so sorry to hear about your cat. It’s hard when our beloved pets become ill. Could a friend help you out with vets fees maybe?

I hope things pick up for you. Remember we’re all here to help perk you up if you need us. ❤️

[Wimborne in reply to cheekychipmunks]

Cheeky. I read car 🚘 not cat 🐱

[cheekychipmunks Graduate in reply to Wimborne]

Oh you’re right, thanks for putting me right Wimborne! Sorry about that ButtercupKid, not quite as sad having a dying car, but no less unfortunate.

[Wimborne in reply to cheekychipmunks]

Am I allowed to giggle 🤭 at you.

[cheekychipmunks Graduate in reply to Wimborne]

Oh crikey yes, of course you can! Have a good old belly laugh! I do love my animals, but I think even I know the difference between a car and a cat! 🤣

[Wimborne in reply to cheekychipmunks]

Oh cheeky. I must admit I did giggle quite a lot. It’s normally me that does that but now I have you too.

[cheekychipmunks Graduate in reply to Wimborne]

Hahaha, Team Numpty! 👊😅

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to cheekychipmunks]

I love you both - never thought I’d be getting a laugh out of this situation 😂

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to cheekychipmunks]

I think the cat would be sadder ! No pets here since the last hamster expired a few years ago x

[cheekychipmunks Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

I’m glad I made you laugh BCK! Hopefully today is a better day for you. 🤞❤️

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to cheekychipmunks]

Staggering on through, thanks 😄

[Rebel_sparrow]

That Black Dog didn’t hold you back from getting out and giving it a go though so well done. We don’t praise ourselves enough when we achieve and I think you are wonderful. Despite the stress of the car, the panic moth and agoraphobia you gave it your best and shared. Can’t ask more than that of yourself some days. I’m still off the jogging list as per physio but with you in spirit.

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Rebel_sparrow]

Oh poor you ! Hope you’re able to get back out there soon. Thanks for the encouragement x

[Wimborne]

Hey BCK. Lots going on I see. Firstly. Good on you. You got out there. Remind me again of your words?..... the only run you F is the one you don’t do. So ok. Today was not as far as you’d hoped but further than not at all. But positively. You picked up after your run !!!!! See how it helps with headspace. I wish I could rehome that pesky dog and swat that moth for you too. So recovery run done. Head up. Wednesday you go again. Don’t think about distance or time. Just get out there and clear that head. You are a runner and a fighter BCK. 😊🏃🏼‍♀️.

[Gryllotalpa Graduate]

You are NOT fat and stupid. You deserve a bravery medal.

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Gryllotalpa]

Thanks for that ! I’m definitely fat, but hopefully I’ll be changing that over the next few months. But brave is much nicer than stupid. Thanks for changing the picture for me x

[ItstheMarchHare Graduate]

Well done for getting out there. I wish they did doggy daycare for the Black Dog, would be nice to have more days without it xx

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to ItstheMarchHare]

I did think it was on the way out, but it seems to have changed its mind. If I keep taking it out for runs, maybe it’ll give up and go and look for somewhere less tiring to live 😄

[Shelley2310 Graduate]

BCK it’s really horrible feeling like that. We can all say you’re not the way you’re feeling. Unfortunately we can’t tell you not to feel like that. We all know you’re a wonderful person and you CAN do it. You know you can (which is why you went out in the first place). The black dog teams up with the gremlins and the panic moth to make you feel the way you do. You’re stronger than them and you will get back to 3 runs a week for 30 mins. Try not to be too hard on yourself and make time for yourself too. You’re a great inspiration and help to loads of others, inspire yourself and look back on all your accomplishments in the last few months.

Anyway I’ve been waffling and hope this reads ok and puts across that what I’m saying is no matter how you feel it’s ok not to feel ok and take time for yourself.

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Shelley2310]

Thanks Shelley - really appreciate your support. I know that the feeling is not the same as the truth, but some days it’s just so hard. Don’t know how I managed without you lovely people on here ! Little Miss Stubborn will make a comeback. And if I hadn’t gone out, I wouldn’t have seen the wren sing at Shelley’s Point ! I do believe they’re building a nest in your honour xx

[Shelley2310 Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

Awww how lovely 😊. You definitely will make a comeback and you’ll be able to get to your goal.

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Shelley2310]

Not giving up - just slowing down temporarily 😄

[Shelley2310 Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

Slowing down is good 🤣

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Shelley2310]

Not when you’re already one of the slowest runners around - but much better than stopping altogether 😂

[Shelley2310 Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

Snap....we’re the snail brigade! 🤣🤣

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Shelley2310]

Yay ! Go us ! (Not too fast though) 😂

[Shelley2310 Graduate in reply to ButtercupKid]

😂😂

[Kimbov Graduate]

You are amazing and you inspire me with my running. Sending you big hugs x

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Kimbov]

Thanks KB. You inspire me too x

[Bodg Graduate]

BCK well done for getting out there. So much further than sitting on the couch. Be kind to yourself we are all with you. 🤗

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Bodg]

Thanks Bodg. Back to normal soon, I hope - whatever that may be 😂

[micey2 Graduate]

Despite it all you still encourage and support others here, you are an inspirational person and you have come so far. You are being so positive in your attitude to your setbacks you can do nothing but succeed. One bad run is better than no run, that 15 minutes is waiting for you and you’ll smash it 😊😊

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to micey2]

Thanks micey. Not giving in !

[MarkyD Graduate]

Hi ButtercupKid - you strike me as a pretty determined lady, and despite carrying Ethel around, dealing with the Black Dog and the Panic Moth, you are finding both the time and enthusiasm to improve your fitness and wellbeing. Your husband and boys must be inspired by you.

About the car - why not set up a GoFundMe site, promote it and see if you can get some supporters?? I'll gladly contribute. I want you to know that you are an inspiration, and I want to encourage you. I can say some nice words, but I can help practically as well.

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to MarkyD]

Thanks MD. Never heard of GoFundMe - I’ll check it out.

[Time_to_run Graduate]

Oh BCK ... hugs 🤗

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Time_to_run]

Thanks TTR - much appreciated x

[molly1973 Graduate]

Huge hugs from Yorkshire, Buttercup. Many others have already said it: a short jog is better than none and to get yourself out of the door with all that going on is immense. It was only a couple of weeks ago the Black Dog was doing its worst and you kept going. You will continue because you are such a strong person and each run (no matter how long, short, good or tough) gives you something: headspace, positivity, sheer bloody-mindedness... I’m sure the list goes on and will be different each time. The daffodils are on their way, along with lighter evenings and better weather. These things hopefully will help and steadier times lie ahead. It’s just a bend in the tunnel, remember: the light is still there. Lots of love x

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to molly1973]

Thanks Molly - really appreciate your support x

[Dave58 Graduate]

All I can say is you are such an inspiration and support to others and I hope you get through all these problems. Good luck with Wednesday run. Just remember we are all here for you. Throw a stick for the black dog to fetch and try to make him your friend

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to Dave58]

Thanks Dave. Working on it !

[SlowLoris]

10 minutes is a good run. There are no rules. You picked a run that suited the day.

And you know what that black dog needed. It needed to be taken for a run.

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to SlowLoris]

I like that - picking a run that suits the day. Hadn’t thought of that idea. Thanks !

[UnfitNoMore Graduate]

You ran... that’s a win. 10 minutes, 10 miles, it really doesn’t matter... you’re a runner and you ran. 10 minutes was once impossible you know, for all of us.

[ButtercupKid Graduate in reply to UnfitNoMore]

I feel it was a win. A bit creaky and desperate, but compared to what I wanted to do, which was to sidle off home and hide under the duvet, it felt kind of microheroic 😂