So this is my first time i've signed up to anything like this.
And it kind of feels good to speak out to the unknown. I do have a good supportive network around me but its so refreshing to just type away everything.
So whats got me to here? Simple, i finally cracked. From last year when i miscarried, now i know it was a blessing in disguise (harsh that sounds but i mean it in the nicest way possible).. me and my partner are not ready in no shape or form for a child but it still wasn't pleasant to go through. Then i found out after christmas my boyfriend was texting his ex AGAIN may i add, and this time with pictures, god i've made him out to be awful but we got through it. Then there was an incident where we had to move back to my parents from his parents, and being back here is ok, but im 21 and it feels like ive taken a step backwards and now i feel a bit like a child. Then me and my partner found out we have both contracted genital warts from my previous partner and it took nearly a year to make an appearance. Safe to say i was absolutely devastated, i've never had anything like that before in my life and it scared me, now me and my partner are rarely intimate because i feel disgusting, unattractive and i feel ashamed. He however is just patient as ever. My god that man has so much patience its unreal. And out of all of this that was happening the only good thing that was going for me was my job, i work in the fast food industry but i (did) love it, and i was looking to go up further, so i was buzzing when my area manager met me to discuss my future, i was on a high it was exactly what i needed, then i went into work the next day and i found out that i failed on out secret shop! Everything i said and my efforts i put into my job felt like it had just gone down the drain. Thats when i really started to realise my anxiety was creeping back with a vengence. And its done that big time, i can't even begin to explain how i feel (felt) i was being physically ill to the point where work had to send me home. Everyone started to get worried about me then my mum came and spoke to me to which i then completely broke and told her everything. I felt better for it, and she took me to the doctors to which they have put me on citalopram. And in my own choice i haven't took them yet. Because i do feel better and i don't want to rely on tablets and become a vegetable. Jeeez i've rambled a bit haven't i??
So this is why i've come here. To rant and speak to others about mine and other's concerns.
Anxiety and depression is the lonliest thing in the world even if you do have the best family and friends like i have. Now im not alone.
I hope to come back to this soon.
i've just been having a look around and everyone is just so understanding. Its so refreshing!! 
First day on citalopram
Little advice please guys if possible :) 
Having a really rubbish day
