At an all time low, I'll explain my situation in the body.. Could do with some support/advice

Started to feel a lot better and felt like I was making a slow recovery but then new year happened. My night started off being at my mom and dad's friends party, my boyfriend was at his moms house (I didn't go because we don't get along), my dad gave me an ultimatum, he said that i can only move back home if I end my relationship with my boyfriend and if I didn't then I can't move back home, reason for this is because my dad thinks he's controlling and he was annoyed because my boyfriend left me to go home on my own on Christmas night. I was obviously upset so I ended up leaving because me and my dad had a little disagreement. When I got outside of my boyfriends moms my boyfriends sister (Sandra) was getting a taxi home with her partner (mark) and my boyfriends mom said why don't you and keyleigh jump in the taxi, so we did. Then mark said lets go to Anthony's.. (Anthony Is my boyfriends brother and he previously made a pass at me and there was a huge uprawr in the family and nobody believed me so I don't go anywhere near him now if I can help it) I turned round to mark and said I weren't going to Anthony's and he started arguing with me about it in the taxi. I kept telling him that I weren't going to Anthony's and then things got abit much and he shoved me, I reacted and shoved him back, then he got out of the car and opened up my door, dragged me out by my hair onto the floor and was saying I'm lucky I am who I am otherwise he would have done a lot more. I've a cut on my knee and hand and my fingers very badly bruised. In the meantime all my boyfriend did was say why did you do that to my girlfriend. I got up and walked off and my boyfriend didn't follow me so I was walking round on my own at about 3 in the morning. Luckily I have a great friend and she came to get me in a taxi, and I stayed round her house. In the morning I went to get some stuff from my flat and I've moved back into my moms, my boyfriends telling me that he loves me and that he feels really low, but to be honest I've never felt this low in my life, I don't know what to do, I'm doubting that it's ever going to get better and I'm scared of feeling like this it's horrible :-( I just want to be me again and smile like I used to! I don't know what to do about my boyfriend because I love him so much and not being with him is making everything so hard but if I go and see him my parents will really disagree and then everything will be worse. I just don't know what to do and have never felt this lonely and in despair in my life, thanks to anyone who replies xx

17 Replies

  • Oh dear me that sounds baddddd! I thought I'd had a shitty night but you must be in a whole world of pain right now.

    Do you think he controls you? Sometimes other people can see it when you can't. I was engaged to one for five years. One thing for sure is he shouldn't have put his hands on you. I'm guessing alcohol may have been involved but even then it shouldn't happen.

    Sounds like he got in a strop cos ya wouldn't do what he wants to me.

    Do you think this relationship has contributed to ya recent anxiety? Just cos you love someone doesn't always mean its a healthy relationship.

    Well hopefully some tlc from your mam and dad will help. X

  • It weren't my boyfriend who dragged me out the taxi it was his brother in law. I'm just so confused by all of this and feel frightened incase I can't deal with it all anymore :-( yes I do think my relationship has contributed to my anxiety... I just really don't know what to do :( xx

  • God what made his brother in law be such a dick. Sounds like a big nightmare for you.

    If you think he contributes to your anxiety as opposed to helping then that could need some serious consideration.

    How's ya dad been with you today? Has he repeated the ultimatum? Do you think he meant it? X

  • I have no idea I really don't :-( and it's not so much my boyfriend that contributes to it he does to a certain point but his family do not help one little bit all they do is bring trouble! And yes because my moms expecting me to split with him and never see him again she just keeps saying you'll be ok you'll get over him and you'll realise you can do so much better xx

  • Has he tried to talk to his family and get them to lay off? If he could would that make it easier to stay together or do ya think your mam and dad will not accept him?

    It's a toughy isn't it, especially as you want to be back home. X

  • They're not the type of family to listen they're very set in their ways in fact and I know that mom and dad won't accept him now but not sure about in the future things could change I guess and yes it is I'm just hoping it works out for the best gonna sleep on my own for the first night in about a year I just feel so low but then again I guess that's normal compared to the situation isn't it xx

  • Yeah you'd feel like this understandably after that nightmare. Sleep tight. You'll figger iit out. X

  • This is what I'm thinking, while I'm in a relationship with my boyfriend it's always going to be his family aswell I can't escape them and at the moment because I'm at my moms house what are me and him going to do just sit in the car outside all night??!! I just don't know what to do because I do love him and if I go and stay with him my parents will be really annoyed with me which will cause even more upset xx

  • I would try a break from him,more so if being with him gives you anxiety,might let you see more clearly,please don't be with someone who makes you unhappy,even his family,it won't get better.

  • Thanks lindalou I am going to have a break from him just can't help feeling guilty that he's sat in our flat on his own, breaks my heart! I'm too soft xx

  • it doesn't sound like a good situation to be in keyleigh, what would you say if it was a friend it was happening to?

    I can't tell you what to do love, only you can decide, but I know what I'd say if I was your mum, your safety is important.

  • Thanks lindalou, I think I need some time for me your right I will figure it out I'm sure xx

  • Keyleigh Hun,

    Seriously I think you need to step back and look at the situation.

    It's not helping you in the slight us , it's making you ill. Maybe take a break from things for a bit , you need time for you.

    The people who know you well are your parents, they want what's best for you. They wouldn't want to see you hurt in any way Hun.

    I hope I haven't spoken out of turn, please think about it.

    I do think you need some time and some family to give you the love and support you deserve:) xx

  • My daughter is very happy and pregnant with her partner now.

    But when his family lived in NZ they created so much anxiety between the two of them that they nearly broke up several times. His parents and brother were so nasty to my daughter it broke my heart. And, I believe she had a nervous breakdown over it. Her Dad and I were very concerned and worried about her in this relationship which included this very dysfunctional family and really hoped that it would all end and that we could all walk away from it.It was hurting us as a family . Sound familiar???

    The good that came out of it is that his family went back to the UK and the distance meant they were not in my daughters area all the time. These parents still create hurt at times but it is much easier to deal with from 12000 miles away!!!

    What I am trying to say here is that if you stay with this b/f, you and your family are going to be constantly hurt as was our family and my daughter. This will not help any anxiety that you have.

    I really don't believe your Dad is being horrible... he has age and wisdom and wants to see his daughter happy and not in a relationship that is hurting her. Parents only want their kids to be happy and you are obviously not at the moment.

    I really hope that you can come to a decision that is good for you on this. Love Julie xx

  • I guess so I know what your saying but I don't feel ready to give up on him yet because it's not him that's the problem that's why it's so crushing. My mom and dad are going about it the wrong way, my boyfriend helped me drop some clothes off to my moms house and my aunty saw him helping me, reported back to my mom and my mom rang me up accusing me of being with my boyfriend, and saying that she doesn't want him anywhere near her house and doesn't want me anywhere near him. Also she made my friend say hello on the phone so I had to prove to her that I wasn't with my boyfriend, I'm 19 not 9 I can make my own decisions and don't need my mom trying to control me again!! Just really annoyed don't know what to do thanks for all the replies really appreciate it all of you and you've gave me points to consider xx

  • please consider this ,Keyleigh,your boyfriend should have stood up for you,not leave you on the street at 3 in the morning,anything could have happened to you.I am not telling you what to do[,I am just asking you to think about this,if this happened to a friend of yours,and she asked you for advice,what would you say to her...whatever your answer is..I would take your own advice,you sound like a good hearted loving girl,that deserves to be treated with love and respect.always remember that...xxxxxx

  • Thankyou very much miarose i really do understand what you are saying I should never have been left, infact just before my boyfriend saw me two men were walking in my direction and when I got up to walk off they said 'look she's walking off' which kind of frightened me. I know Nathan is sorry he's been on the phone in tears tonight which is rare, but I understand what your saying completely.. And your right, if that was a friend ringing me up id be really annoyed he did that and question whether he even cared about her. A lot to consider and a lot to think about too! Thankyou very much for your reply, and thankyou for your kind lovely words, I hope your ok! And I'm here if you ever need to offload like I did xxxxx

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