NEED SOME ADVICE FROM MY LOVELIES

[sheffieldwed]

Hi all my nearest and dearest i really am sorry for yesterday am still struggling to cope and need some advice on this my partner has a 17 year old son to a previous marriage after his mum kicked him out last year we took him to try and get him sorted college etc, he took everything for granted he laid on settee all day after stopping out till 1 and 2 in morning he was breaking in to properties taking drugs pinching from me and his mum where he stole her gold and pawned it in he stole my eldest daughters ipod which her dad had bought her missed school exams, i couldnt take much more bringing up my 2 young children and a teenage girl myself so he went to his aunties last night he was back saying he has changed in other words she has now had enough of him he use to talk to me like dirt when my partner wasnt there and i always got the blame for not wanting him so after turning up my panic and anxiety started just knowing he was here i may sound spiteful as it is his son but just dont want my son following his foot steps who is only 11 and daughter who is 10 my kids are the world and know while at work i wouldnt be able to relax him just being in my house i really couldnt cope and ended up at my mums just sat crying AGAIN do you think i am being selfish not giving someone another chance my nerves cant take much more xxx

[Hidden]

Think you gave him chances. Look after yourself and your family. X

[sheffieldwed]

Thank you my little boy is so good and really dont want him growing up like that all my kids are constantly completed at school for their behaviour and well behaved i really feel like i cant cope with this situation but get the same old he is my son i have tried but he says things like this is my dads house and is so rude all the time calling me such horrible names dont want my kids thinking its ok to speak to people in this way but do feel guilty xxx

[Trip]

I am with missd on this one G, if he has done it once he probs will do it again hun x

Tc

Trip

x

[BriarRose]

NO, NO, AND NO AGAIN! His mum kicked him out, he's done nothing to help himself, he steals, disrespects you, and is making you ill! What is selfish about saying "Shape up or ship out?"

Get rid of him, hun, he needs to learn the world (and you!) do not owe him a living. Maybe the only way he'll learn that is the hard way - but YOUR need to look after your own and your children's needs. Why should he be allowed to screw with your whole family?

Throw him out is my advice!

Love

Rose

xxxxxxx

[sheffieldwed]

My mum said the same last night when i just sat and cried while he was sat in my home my mum said she doesnt want my nerves as bad as they were and said its too much for you to cope with i do feel a mixture of hate towards him and same time sorry but i just know i cant cope and feel myself getting low again thanks me rose petal and trip i love you guys really do just not myself at moment xxxx

[sheffieldwed]

This is the time i REALLY miss my dad guys he would know what to do miss him like crazy xxxx

[Cloudy146]

Hiya

Not much more I can say that already has not been said . You are not selfish , you are a strong mother who is doing a great job with your responsibilities , tell your partner to , grow a set, it's tough love time , it's fatherly love he needs , which is to say no that this behaviour is unacceptable .

Please don't let this situation take you down , you have come through and determination to not allow this young man to destroy your family and happiness .

keep strong thinking of you

[jean01]

I agree with the previous advice. If your OH says he wants to give him another chance then he needs to take the responsibility for him.

[sheffieldwed]

I did tell him that guys and now we arnt talking cant do right for wrong i put my children 1st and i am leaving him out forgets about all the pain he caused last time and the abusive texts he sent to me and my oldest daughter i may just give up and go to my mums with the children dont know how much i can take before my anxiety hits rock bottom again but thank you all for your kind words they mean the world to me i thought it was just me thinking like this thank you my LOVELIES xxxxxxxxx

[Hidden]

Tough love needed. He needs to prove he has changed. Words are easily spoken, he has to prove himself. He could be saying anything to worm his way back in and then you could be back to square one, and him doing what he did before. No-one who helps anyone out, deserves to be treated badly and get abusive texts. Think about your kids. Good luck. xx

[sheffieldwed]

thanks lou41 some great advice i thought it was just me being nasty my brain been ticking in all day and then its made me emotionally and phsically tired and my anxiety has been worse today it means the world to me all your support not everyone can be wrong surely thanks again hope everyone feels ok today xxxx

[Hidden]

Hey how you doing? Stay strong. Xxx

[jean01]

I don't know if this is usefull, when young adults are being got ready to leave care, they go to a sort of halfway house where they are shown how to budget and take responsibility for themselves. They have to sign a contract which explains the system and what is expected of them, this contract is itemised so there is no wriggle room. If they break the contract the support is withdrawn. just a thought, it might give you confidence. love xx

[ArctoLindy]

You're not being selfish, you shouldn't have to put up with this! Obviously his mother had had enough of it and his auntie probably refused to take him. Try contacting Social Services and/or your local council's homeless officer and tell them he can't stay with you and that he has nowhere to go, hopefully someone can get him some help and accommodation.

I hope you manage to sort something out. xxx

[sheffieldwed]

Hi everyone and thanks for your great advise well me and OH still not talking but men always sulk and i think he is trying to make me feel guilty dont get me wrong i do feel awful in a way but my anxiety has been so bad and i really cant cope with someone is so awful to me and naught i hate saying this but never known a teenager to be so rude lie and pinch esp from his own family and to call my children names is the lowest of low but i really dont need any more stress in my life thank you your all wonderful xxxxxxxxxxx

[Hidden]

You have been in my thoughts today xxx

[Hidden]

Hug xxx