So worried again about my son

I havent been on here for a while but I dont know what to do anymore I feel like im falling apart I made a appointment today for my son today after him having two massive breakdowns this week I spoke to the doctor got a appointment and got my son up the docs just before the time and we were still sitting the 30mins later he couldnt cope and left without seeing any doctor I felt so let down by him and the doctor as I had to make him get out of his bed thought brill he is actually getting help and then leaves the surgery I feel all my hard work to get him there was just a waste of my energy and time I donr know what to do next only I feel so angry now for the way he is as I been trying to talk and be there and now I want to give up im so gutted I cant sleep with worry but got to still get up and go to work and deal with my own depression and he gets to stay constantly in his bed I give up x

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  • hi vyse, I've just looked at this & your posts from a month ago. I am sorry your son is having anxiety problems and can see it's also badly affecting you.

    Your gp said your son "didn't look depressed" - I am shocked beyond words! what was he judging this by?

    Is there another gp in your surgery you could go to? If not, maybe try a different one. the one you've seen is never going to understand.

    Your son did well getting to the surgery and lasting those 30 minutes.

    It is frustrating for you, and you are rightly angry that they couldn't have gotten him seen on time considering his circumstances, but, sadly, you have to get by the reception staff first.

    You did well getting him there, don't be too disappointed that he couldn't stay - 30 minutes is a challenge for many healthy people, with anxiety this can feel ten times longer.

    I will find some helplines and add them here. Please consider calling them yourself too, they can give you advice and can be a listening ear for your fears and worries too.

    You need to think about you too. make sure you rest when you can. try and eat something, you might try little & often for you both - yoghurt; jelly; baked beans; fresh or tinned fruit: custard; toast; ice cream: an egg; even boiled potatoes - all take little effort to eat, many slip down easy, but keep you from getting out of the habit of, or need for, eating.



    The Samaritans

    Tel: 0845 790 9090

    Whatever you're going through, we're here to help 24 hours a day. We won't judge you and we won't share what you tell us with anyone else. Get in touch by

    telephone, email, letter and face to face in the UK andIreland. Visit if you live outside the UK or Ireland.


    Mind Infoline: 0300 123 3393 Mind InfoLine offers thousands of callers confidential help on a range of mental health issues. Mind helps people take control of their mental

    health. We do this by providing high-quality information and advice, and campaigning to promote and protect good mental health for everyone. They also provide

    a special legal service to the public, lawyers and mental health workers.


    Helpline: 0800 018 2138

    Parents' Information Service gives advice to parents or carers who may be concerned about the mental health or emotional well being of a child or young


    Get Connected

    Freephone: 0808 808 4994 (1pm - 11pm)

    Confidential National helpline for young people under 25 helps them work out what they need most. Can put them in touch with places that can help - whatever

    the issue.

    Students Against Depression

    Developed in consultation with students who have been affected by depression, low mood or suicidal thoughts. Many of their stories and suggestions are

    included on the site.


  • Hi there,I just wanted you to know that you are not alone although I know it must feel like that at the moment,my best friend was in the same situation as you for many years,I'd say 10 years actually with her son and it totally took over her life,she had split from his dad many years before and didn't get much support from him,it's all been on her shoulders,it's only now when he,s nearly 21 that she's starting to get her life back,he kept having breakdowns and wouldn't get out of bed and then he'd be up all night so she couldn't sleep properly,he he ended up going to a specialist unit in the end which although he had his ups and downs really helped,he used to get a taxi there and back every day so that he had to go whether he liked it or not,I really empathise with you and hope that things improve,good luck with everything,thinking of you x

  • Hi,

    I do hope you get the help you need, and by the reply from the Samaritan's there is a lot of good advice to heed. I know it is so difficult to get men/sons to visit the Doctors/Specialists, as I went through a bad time with my son, but not to the extent you are.

    My thoughts are with you. xxEunice

  • I'm truly sorry for you having to deal with your sons anxiety especially with your own.

    I had a few problems with my youngest son when he was in his teens, it's not easy to deal with. Luckily he came through it all down to good support and generally making himself more positive about his future, I'm not saying that everyone can work out their problems this way but definitely support is what you both need, please get on to the help sites that are available such as the ones Sandra has listed, they can offer great support, keep posting and let us know how you are both doing.

    All the very best. X

  • Hi

    I can imagine how you feel & I did feel so annoyed for you after getting your son to accept going for an appointment to be kept waiting so long till he had to leave

    I do know suffering with anxiety that I seem to have this thing where if I have to attend an appointment 30 mins seems to be my waiting limited & without even realizing that it is coming on I start to panic , so I can totally understand why your son bolted out the door & its a disgrace how long you were kept waiting , if we are just 5 minutes late they can refuse to see us !

    Having said all that this doesn't help you & what you are having to deal with , which I do feel for you with all this happening

    I would either do two things , phone the surgery explain the situation & ask for a home visit OR under these circumstances if you can talk him in to another appointment tell them he has to be seen straight away , maybe the first appointment of the day or the first one of the afternoon surgery I always find better & try to get if possible as they usually have not had time to get behind on these first appointments & you get in quicker without to much waiting about

    Sorry this may of been no help to you but wanted to let you know I had read your post & as well as your own problems which I admire how you are coping & then your son as well to deal with that we are listening & hope that may helps a little bit




  • Hi,

    Don't have any more advice than that given but just wanted to say hello and please try the help lines. It is hard and frustrating and so dispiriting so dont forget to look after and think of yourself sometimes,


  • Thankyou everyone I am very grateful for all your advise I have used one of the phone advise line's and made a start my son has been ok for two days and is coming round to see rhe gp again so fingers crossed he will make it this time x x thank u again x x

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