why does this happen ?

today i went to visit my uncle who has just had a op . i went with my mum and her friend .

On the way home my mum was chatting to her mate about my uncles step son and what a naughty lad he was and man he is ,

she was telling her mate about how he took my brother shop ifting when they were young , she was also telling her about her how he has been inand out of prison for sexual abuse including tht of his daughter .

What has made me really ill this eve as when i was 10 i told my mum that he had raped me and she to this day has never mentioned it since its ike she has loked it out of her mind ,

i hurts so much that she goes on about the way he led my brother astray and what he has done to his daughter etc but ignores what i told her as if i dont matter i wasnt and am not important ,

i was stuck i in the cr with this so couldntven escae it today

i have now come home got the vodka out drank to much i dont drink a t all normally and have self harmed i am home alone and noone to talk to sorry i knwo that i have saod far to much and pease forgive me just had to scream

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7 Replies

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  • Hi there,please please telephone the police,they have experts who will help you.

  • oh i am not in a position to do that and he is already locked up he was done for what he did for his daughter and others,

    i just want my mum to reconise whta i told her way backthen i need her to tell me it was not my fault i want to tell her how wrong she was not listing to a 10 yr old he could have been stopped back then ,,

    but he is being punished now but so am i any way take no notice i am a bit tipsy just having a bad eve

  • Hi Bee,

    Has your Mum blocked it out of her mind to cope with it herself. Some parents cant cope with the thought that could happen to their own children. Has painful as it is have do you think you could raise the subject up again. Its not just a case of your mum recognising what has happened but you need to deal with it aswell. Its brought back memories as you have been drinking. Like Castelnaudry has said about the police and there a pro's out there that can help you deal with what has happened.

    Always remember none is of what happened is your fault. xx

  • Hi again,if your mum cant accept it happened,then she would have to if the Police are involved.This guy is known to the police,I believe you and they will.Years ago my friend was raped by 2 animals.She finally told me and between us we got through.She is ok now,married,kids and happy.There is hope,trust me,Ive seen it.

  • As you say. What you want is your mother to listen and believe you. Get her on her own, sit her down and make her listen to you. No arguments or raising of voices, just a straight talking view of your feelings and how it's affecting you.

    You are human like the rest of us and want closure. go for it, I would. I held back when I had a similar experience with my brother in law. Nothing came of it as I stopped him, but could not tell my mum as I would hurt my sister. My husband had passed away at the time so I suppose to him I looked like an easy target.

    What was done to you was criminal but I can understand the fear of not going to the police.

    I hope you're luck is in to chat with your mum xx

  • thnak you guys

    The reason i cant talk to my mum is because sher has blockled it out i do know that and we never really got on there was a distance between us from the day i told her but we are closer now then we have ever been ,

    i dont want to upset her she is old and i dont want to ruin what we have now ,

    i think i just wanted to vet my thoughts and scream and shout ,

    i know that we all need closure sadly with my mum i dont think i will becayse i am not prepared to do it now , god forbid i faced her and she denied it that would be enough to finish me ,

    but thank you so much fpor listening and being there for me it actually doesnt pry on my mind all the time just half the time ..

    x

  • Hi bee I have never told my mum or family what has happened to me with some one within the family and plages me to this day (this is my first ever post on this site) I suffer from OCD from a child so going on for about 35 years. I dont think I can ever tell them and I dont really see any of my family or spoken to my mum over 4 years. What came to my mind when reading. you love your mum very much and if she passed away without ever excepting what happen or to give you kind works it would live with you for ever, it may be very hard for her to say, im sure this is how she feels though, have you ever thought or tried counselling where your mum is involved too, to help speak out about it and the counselling to help her to, as this is very traumatic for both of you and they can guide you through this time. I am plucking up courage to go to a counseller soon too, I hope these thoughts may help you both in some way kindest regards x

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