Im beside myself with grief..... after a 13 year mentally abusive marriage I managed to leave and take my son (then 6).....but my ex terrorised me and my family and took me to court for custody, i couldnt cope anymore and let my son live with him, I stupidly thought he would leave me alone and we could raise him together, but oh no the controlling carried on by using my son to hurt me even more... long story and i wont bore everyone with the details but I just did as he said so I could see my son.... I never bad mouthed my ex as I thought this was the right thing to do, he was the guilty party (left me for another woman, always messed around etc) so I didnt want my sons head messed up and never talked about my side of the story. But my son is now 24 and I have realised my ex has filled his head with crap, saying I gave him up and didnt love him etc, my son now doesnt want to speak to me , doesnt want to know my side of the story, I am beside myself with grief and do not know how to come to terms with this.... help??