I feel so scared

I suffer from health anxiety and its ruining my life. I woke up this morning with pain between my shoulder blades. I've had this many times before but today for some reason i googled it. I then went on to read about reffered pain and have been suffering form nausea for a couple of months. In short i have concluded i have a severe stomach disease and am now having panick attacks. It sounds ridiculous, but i just can't stop the fear, it washes over me like a massive tidal wave and i feel like i want to rush to a&e. i have my 21 month old with me and i'm struggling. Why do i always look for the worse case scenario instead of just presuming its nothing. Its so driaining. I feel like i want someone to walk in, hug me and tell me its all going to be ok and that i'm not dying. I hate being like this. I feel so scared, and so alone.

21 Replies

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  • Everyone on this site says dont google,only makes things worse,I have felt nauseas for years other symptoms too,been really checked out at 2different hospitals,everything ok.Sitting here at the moment I feel dreadfully nausea,trying not to think about it.Your not dying,wish I was there to tell you everything will be ok.Could you try taking your baby out for a walk?

  • Thank you, i know i am stupid googling things but its too late i've done it now and the information is in my head. I've had a couple of nights recently where i've felt like i'm getting an electric shock just below my ribs, i've just read that your stomach can do this. The two things are probably completely unrelated but me being me i've just thought the worse thing in the world. Its so frustrating. I'm now sobbing and feeling scared. The phone just rang and it was about a job i've applied for i've got an interview. My first reaction was how am i going to return to work/ juggle a family etc when i' sick, i sound ridiculous i know i do there's nothing wrong with me except in my head.

  • Rosylilac

    No you are not stupid , so many of us on here suffer with "health anxiety " and have made the same mistake & googled ! & of course we zoom straight in on the worse & thats the one we have got !!!

    If I had everything I thought I had had , I wouldnt be here now !

    Since joing this site along with others we have banned ourselves from googling & when I feel the urge I pop on here instead , it soo much better for my mind as well , than what googling tells me , hope you will join the ban google & pop on here instead !

    Have you been to see your GP about how you feel ? I no for me years ago when I had my first child that is when my health anxiety really set in & I so wish there had been more help back then & I had asked for it , there is so much more now & understanding I would ask for it

    Your baby is 21 months , could even still be post depression , sometimes we think you only get that in the first few months , but not always

    I no it might not make a difference now you have the seed in your head from googling , but I dont think for one minute you have what you think you have !

    Try & see GP

    You are not alone with your thoughts on here

    Dont forget join the ban google on here & next time if you feel the urge , post here instead ;)

    Let us no how you go on

    Love

    whywhy xxx

  • Thank you, you're kind. I too know the dangers of googling and don't normally do it but thought my shoulder pain was just a knot (probably from all the tension!!) and that surely there couldn't be any hideous diseases related to it!! How wrong was i, i won't be googling agian thats for sure. Ive pulled myself together a bit now thanks to your lovely post.

    I have been to the doctors twice and they have offered me antidepressants which i am currently thinking about seriously. If they gave me some respite form this constant worrying they might be worth a go.

  • I get those knots in my shoulders round my arms all over to be honest , it is tension & they can feel painful

    You think about it if you want to try meds , you may want to try herbal things from health shops , some say they have been very good

    Keep coming on here , you will get lots of support

    Its good to see you feel more relaxed now , i no what it feels like when you get that surge of fear

    No dont google lol remember if tempted get on here :-)

    Love

    whywhy xxx

  • I've had health anxiety off and on for 20 years and the worst thing that has happened to me was when I got the internet and realised there was a self-frightening programme available called 'Google'. Since that fateful day I've terrified myself more times than I can remember Googling my symptoms.

    You name it - I've had it!

    Health Anxiety is an awful almost debilitating illness as I know only too well so I sympathise Rosylilac, but please don't Google.

  • I feel for you, I have suffered this many years ago, and I know that right now it is hard to explain that things are ok........I wouldn,t have listened, I was convinced, and nobody would have told me different...That,s how anxiety works.......

    Now I can look back and realise that although it was labelled "Health Anxiety" .............. Anxiety was the subject and my health was my focus.it could ,and was proved to be later anything that my tired mind focused on....

    I experienced financial/social/work related /technophobia/ you name it.sometimes the focus would last for months/ sometimes years...............But I realised that my mind focus was not the problem.........The problem was Anxiety Disorder.

    When I understood this it helped me tackle the real problem and ignore the focus.....

    Be well.....xx

  • Is it possible to feel really ill and it just be down to the anxiety and nothing else, i've felt shocking for the past couple of months and seem to have a new symptom to add to the list every day, i've been to the doctors twice and both times have just put it down to anxiety but i really feel bad some days, almost to the point where i'm struggling to maintain normal day to day life. Am i just in a massive spiral of anxiety??

  • It is very possible & i to have the same things as you happening , I no its hard to believe you feel so ill , you think it cant possibly be anxiety , they are missing something ....years later I now no it must be true , even on bad days though I still struggle to believe it

    Acceptance is spoke about on here , accepting how you feel & saying come on do your worse , sounds a bit crazy but if you can practice this it does start to work , as every time you allow it to come & pass you start to see it really is anxiety

    You made me smile when you say every day i am adding something else to my list

    People got to a stage with me at one point just saying "what is it that you think you have today then ? " lol

    I did use to think "how rude " but eventually i did start to see the funny side , as they ran through the list , I could see I would have been a walking miracle !

    Try & go with it , keep posting , its little steps we take , but they turn into bigger ones & you will get there

    Love

    whywhy xxx

  • I don't want to look back and think that i've wasted my life worrying ! It is mad how many things i have had in my head. I've got a job interview on thursday and i just said to my husband in an email "do you think i ought to tell them that i won't be around by the end of the year as i have at least 5 life threatening illnesses"!!! I can laugh about it sometimes. Today its ms again i think that one quite regularly, central nervous system disorder and stomach cancer are ones i've gone through today and i've always got ovarian cancer. I should be in somesort of medical book surviving all these things with no treatment whatsoever!!

  • Me to ! iv had all those illnesses as well , & a few more I wont mention

    I think if you want the job you should go for the interview , beacause believe it or not you will be around for a lot of years !!!!

    You want waste your life there is help & you will take it & you wil get through this

    Try & stay in the day with your thoughts it helps

    Let me no if you go in this medical book because my name needs to be in it to ;)

    whywhy xxx

  • Thank you, it really helps me to make fun of myself, takes the pressure off, my husband keeps telling me that as long as i've got my sense of humour he's not worried . going to have a hot bath later and try to ease some of these aches and pains and try to relax a bit x

  • Same here Rosy

    At times it can be hard to see the funny side , but I to think you need a sense of humour at times ;)

    Enjoy your hot bath & remember you on not on your own with this

    whywhy xxx

  • I just want to hug us all I once said to my self I am so sick of worring i just wish I was dead then i relaised thats why I was doing all the worring in case I died so awful to feel this way chances are all the stress, anxiety and worry is what will kill us all off so whats the point in worring about it just let it do its worse. Hang in there and let it happen if it wants just enjoy the time we have. Big Big Hugs I understand

  • hi, i have only just started to use this site. i have post traumatic stress disorder and suffer from very severe anxiety and panick attacks. i undertstand "the fear and terror"you are feeling. it really is horrible. i also have a 2 year old and it really is difficult even just to function alone. with the added pressure of caring for a little one only adds to the fear. the only way i have found to cope is singing happy birthday in my head whenever i worry about something. then change whatever i am doing. sounds silly but it just stops the thought process. so when you need to look after your wee one this may help.

    hope this provides some support :-)

  • Thats an interesting concept :-) I did at one point have a workman in my head with a stop sign (he was quite nice) and everytime I started thinking negative thoughts I would mentally hold up the stop sign, this worked when it was just about the worry. But now I have a load of physical symptoms to contend with that make me feel so tired and ill its a very viscous circle isn't it. I'm trying to be as positive as I can in the hope that that in itself will make me feel better physically but its very hard. I had a panick attack this morning as my husband was leaving for work, I thought I felt so ill that I couldn't cope with the kids and the school run etc but as usual I pulled myself together and got on with it. I feel sorry for my poor husband he has so much to deal with. I find planning things hard too as I always think "what if I'm ill and can't do it"....I don't really understand where this has all come from, definately worse since having children, I feel like everyone relies on me so much. I've only just just started using this site too and I've talked to some really kind people who understand completely how I feel, even been able to joke about it. Hope you're feeling well today x

  • I know what you mean, its quite ironic isn't it, human brain very complicated!! I feel really bad again today but i think i must have picked up a bug, both littleuns have got colds, i just feel exhausted and achy and have a terrible pressure in my head. I just keep going because i think if i stop i just won't get going again. Thanks for your kind words, they really do help

  • Hi Rosylilac,

    I know exactly how you feel. I had my first panic attack when I was 11, that was in 1986 when doctors really didn't know much about them. My initial panic attack lasted for many weeks, because I didn't know what was happening. and was so afraid of having another that I created more anxiety for myself, which created more attacks, which were only replaced with constant anxiety and eventually thanks to Google It all came flooding back worse than ever.. What I have learned over the years and only from experience, because I have never been to therapy for myself and will not take antidepressants; I would like to share what has helped me. For me it didn't matter how many times someone told me I was ok and no matter how many times I looked up any of my symptoms -until I finally found something that reassured me, It only lasted for a short while, because anything new, a new pain, sensation, or worry would start it all over again. If I may , I suggest the following. I know everyone can experience different types of symptoms and I have had them ALL, If you drink caffeine. Stop completely. Drink Green Tea while you are quitting to minimize withdrawals and then switch to Chamomile tea, it helps you relax and sleep. Go for a short walk or walk in place when ever you are having either a panic attack or anxiety attack . Breathing exercises do help many people, but didn't help me, because I would get so fixated on my fear. What I learned to do is force my mind to concentrate on something, anything else. I would find something around the house and try to draw it, but first gave myself a little pep talk that I understand I have anxiety, I know I'm prone to panic attracts, I have had many before and they have passed and I know this one will too. Just know you are by no means alone , we will be here for you and everything will be ok.

  • Hi, I've just read your post. Sorry that you feel so worried. I would write some advice, but I seem unable to take my own advice. I'm sitting worrying about an illness to. I thought I was alone always thinking the worst. Keep posting . The people on this site are so kind, and always have good advice. Thinking of you, I hope the anxiety goes away soon

  • Everything will be ok. Looking at the worse case scenario is typical of health anxiety. I have finally found something that works for calming my nerves down and easing my anxiety. I used to roll my eyes and dismiss it when I was told that Chamomile tea would help, OMG it sure did. Please try it..

  • Oh gosh, so do i, just the same amazeing, i have my 24yr old with me, i carnt wait for him to go, had three yrs with him, goer to uny. Now i realise, how i have struggled, over the years i could write a book, however, after lots of differn;t meds, i dont want to bore you, am not alone with it anymore cos, we can talk & talk, i have come to a conclusion. tht it may viral, sounds far fetched, anyway, help is to talk, analizeing the symptons, because these doctors , will to write, anything on the priscription, but basicaly they havnt a clue, unless can find a well edutcatied one who, has experied the effects, of the brain not makeing the seratonin, that we so dessperatly need. Anyway have just come to close my computer, as i am tired, this heavy weather dosent help,by for now regards Catherine.

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