Hi Playmates, I thought I had better write and let you all know I am still here reading your posts but I haven't been commenting much as I didn't feel as if I had the right to. Now that is my old arch enemy speaking, stress and anxiety just in case you were wondering. I have been busy trying to put the world to rights with a few things. Firstly , looming up on me was having to move out of my home as I have not 1 but 2 spare bedrooms. It is social housing and yes there will be those who think I should move out, but it has really knocked me for a six. I pushed it to a dark dusty shelf , right at the back of my mind until Christmas was done and dusted ( another nightmare ) for the majority of us. So January dawned and I could feel the familiar pangs of terror coming. The odd thing was , they were different, I could manage them. I could manage the pure panic I was feeling . I have NEVER said that before in my life.When I first joined this site I was unable to get on a bus, have a conversation without stammering and stuttering or even a telephone conversation. Now I am doing all of the above regularly and even enjoying them. All this in a matter of a couple of months really. I really feel like a different person to who I was. A good friend of mine on this site sent me a link regarding the " bedroom tax " as it is being referred to in the press. I looked at it, wrote a few e-mails and made a few telephone calls . All of which would have been an impossible task for me a couple of months ago. As a result I am assured I will be able to stay put in my home. My home, my safe place, my haven. Where I have loved , laughed and cried for 30 years. Brought my 3 children up and entertained my Grandchildren. This site has been invaluable to me and I regard some people as close , caring friends who understand the problems of anxiety and depression and the rubbish that goes with it. There are a lot of other problems I face too....but hey I will face them. I'm not alone anymore. I am managing pain better too and life is looking up. Thank you My Dear, Dear Friends and may we meet Many, Many more. Oh I will trip, stumble and fall, but I know I will get back up again, thanks to you and Dr Claire Weekes of course who has changed my way of thinking with her books. Anyway I will get off and read some more blogs and questions, knowing of course I have a right to, Lots of Hugs and Kisses x Ella x
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