Woke up angry..

[shadow45]

Hello my friends... Today I woke up angry and frustrated.... Its every day now when I wake up to this feeling of despair... Usually as many of you know I come to this site in hopes of getting things off my chest and sending messages of support.... Today as I log on I see so many of the posts are from people who are suffering with terrible pain and worry .And I must say for the first time I feel overwhelmed by them... I guess its how I feel today that reading these posts upset me too much to respond in a helpful way... As I see myself in them I started to think that what I am doing in my daily routine is just holding the wolves at bay... A thought came to me that I am carefully painting a picture only to burn it in the end.... I guess I am at a low point now.. Not as bad as some of the posts.. but heading for a fall. I get sick now just repeating myself over and over..

One of the worst things.. as you will know... is the hope that the next day will be different.. At night I do get some relief as I have said... Last night I prayed that this relief would stay with me until morning. Where I could wake up feeling the same way. But no it just will not happen..

[Hidden]

HI Steve x There comes a time in any person battle with anxiety, where the frustration kicks in and you despair as to why every day is ground hog day x But like the other phases it will pass x We all have our bad days and yes it seems a lot are getting those days right now x Hopefully they will all come good with some support and help from their doctors etc x Dont feel to bad, sometimes there are reasons you cannot reply, and I to find at times you have to take a back seat in order to get yourself back on track before you can help again x If something will make you worse by reading it, then don't, people will understand x You have to be number one to yourself. Just keep plodding on, there will come a day when you wake and realise that for the first ten mins you thought not of anxiety, then the time will increase x It will happen xx Take care x Donna x

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

You are very wise.And your words have calmed me down I was sending a panic Email to my brother but I couldn't do it.... I know (but don't believe) it will take time... This is a problem I just don't BELIEVE I am going to get better anytime soon... Its eating me up inside. But your right and so is Yummi these feelings will pass as the day goes on I have to believe that just letting them happen and flow out of me will be an answer in the short term... Got to get ready for my GP appointment Thank you once more for your help....much love and gratitude ...Steve

[Yummimummi in reply to shadow45]

xx

[Hidden in reply to shadow45]

Aw thank you x Far from wise, but have walked the path and it will happen, one day it did to me x I thought of anxiety every day, every second of every day, and now some days I can go hours and its progress, stop trying to give the problem a deadline, it will come when it comes x We are only better, when we are healed and that can take time, after all it didn't take days to get you as you are now x Donna x

[shadow45 in reply to Hidden]

Ok Ill try and relax a bit My GP gave me a scrip for Xanax not sure as I have never taken it before...But I guess when I get too upset... I`ll try it.. bless you Donna steve

[Yummimummi]

Hey shadow

I'm sorry you're feeling low.

Can I ask, do you meditate?

I've found it helpful to keep things at a calmer level.

Check out the website Headspace

I must admit I've started to wake early hours full of dread but I've learnt to acknowledge the feelings and let them pass by.

It's not always easy at times but I try my best.

I really hope I've given you something to think about and it helps get you to point where you can smile.

Please look after yourself .

Hugs xxx

[shadow45 in reply to Yummimummi]

Bless you Yummi.... I used to meditate and Yoga... But this bloody feeling of despair is robbing me of any positive action on my part...getting frustrated now at my crappy attitude Oh damn it all Thank you for your help... I am off to my GP now much love Steve

[Roserose]

Steve I have sent you a message. I feel your pain, and your story is uncanny to mine right now and how I feel. If you need a friend and to know you are not alone, just message me xx

[shadow45 in reply to Roserose]

Hi Rose yes its a bit of a mess right now I have been up against a wall for three months Wanting to make a move but unable to think straight about getting it done I was in hospital yesterday with a panic attack They gave me a scipe for Xanax to help with the anxiety Now I am scrambling to make arrangements to move closer to my family I am moving out on the first as I just sold my house But I don't want to stay in this town any longer I was looking after my parents until they were placed in a Care Home in the town I now want to move to... My brother is there as well... So I needed to be closer to the family..