sorry typing with one hand, in rite state. sisters visiting yesterday - they said they woukd but no time given so i thought id be assertive n rang them to firm up time. managed to move 1pm tp 2pm - mornings r my worst time - got up ok, showered n had some porridge - often cant face b/fast but was determined. they came n we had wine/cakes/tea - cant blame them they were okay.
but when they went i felt out of sorts - didn't know what to eat - didnt want to eat tho hungry - had sarnie from shop - scared tum would play up - own fault havent been keeping an eye on my ibs just couldn't face supper so had toast n marmite. had feeling i was constipated - sorry tmi - so finally plucked up courage to take some med - always worry cos however small a dose i take it can work literally in minutes or take a day, went to bed but couldnt sleep cos needed a pee - sorry for the tmi again. finally came downstairs - bout 6 am - taken another valium - trying to drink peppermint tea but struggling. in pain with tum and in tears
i thought today i'd cracked it a bit with sisters - cant blame them, they were ok, must be just that im still tense with them - or maybe with anything out of routine?
sorry no it sounds trivial but just so tired of it!!!!! it should have been a nice day - it WAS a nice day, swapped chrissy pressies etc yet i'm still up all night, in pain, unable to eat/sleep, wanting to cry!! when will it end? will it end? i dont want to die - no some ppl on here have got 2 that point n so did i once - but i want to LIVE n i cant!!!! :'(,
sorry for the text talk