thought id cracked it n it still went wrong :(

sorry typing with one hand, in rite state. sisters visiting yesterday - they said they woukd but no time given so i thought id be assertive n rang them to firm up time. managed to move 1pm tp 2pm - mornings r my worst time - got up ok, showered n had some porridge - often cant face b/fast but was determined. they came n we had wine/cakes/tea - cant blame them they were okay.

but when they went i felt out of sorts - didn't know what to eat - didnt want to eat tho hungry - had sarnie from shop - scared tum would play up - own fault havent been keeping an eye on my ibs :( just couldn't face supper so had toast n marmite. had feeling i was constipated - sorry tmi - so finally plucked up courage to take some med - always worry cos however small a dose i take it can work literally in minutes or take a day, went to bed but couldnt sleep cos needed a pee - sorry for the tmi again. finally came downstairs - bout 6 am - taken another valium - trying to drink peppermint tea but struggling. in pain with tum and in tears :'(

i thought today i'd cracked it a bit with sisters - cant blame them, they were ok, must be just that im still tense with them - or maybe with anything out of routine?

sorry no it sounds trivial but just so tired of it!!!!! it should have been a nice day - it WAS a nice day, swapped chrissy pressies etc yet i'm still up all night, in pain, unable to eat/sleep, wanting to cry!! when will it end? will it end? i dont want to die - no some ppl on here have got 2 that point n so did i once - but i want to LIVE n i cant!!!! :'(,

sorry

rose xxxxx

sorry for the text talk

18 Replies

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  • PS didnt mean to sound callous about pple who;ve got to the point of thinking about suicide, sorry if it came over like that! :( xxxxxx

  • Rose, you can live!!! Your sisters visiting must have been a nice, but stressful event, considering you IBS kicked off. I have my IBS under control these days, what i have done is diet change, no white bread changed to brown, no pasta (unless it is brown pasta and only once a week), eggs once a week, less fat intake more fluids, it seems to be working as iv not had an ibs attack for months, and iv had loads of stress lately but no IBS!

    I hope this helps and your'e feeling better soon x

  • Hi Linny - thanks, hun - yeah, I guess it was stressful - I was so pleased with myself that I "coped" I didn't think there'd be a "downside" aftrwards :(

    My IBS is a bit different - as the ghastly gastroenterologist i've just seen put in a letter to my doctor, I "admitted" I was food phobic - I didn't think being food phobic cos of IBS was a sin or a crime you had to "admit" to! :-O I always have brown bread, don't like pasta or any description - use rice instead - hardly ever have eggs - I wouldn't need the loo for a week if i have an egg ;) and have cut my fat down drastically. One trouble is i can't take anything slightly acidic - and lots of fruit - which i need for my tum - is acidic :(

    I'm going to try to fish out my juicer - well, not a proper juicer, the one that attaches to a food processor - and try to do stuff like carrot juice, mango juice - maybe if i can't EAT myself better, i can drink myself there!

    Bless you for caring, Linny, big hugs xxxxxxxx

  • Mystery solved,....you did,t know what to eat... hungry could,t choose....scared to upset tum,.....though you were constipated...couldn,t sleep....valium...peppermint tea!!!!!!

    CHOO CHOOO!!!!!!You were away on a ride on the ANXIETY train.........any thought possible!!! CHOO CHOO...any destination possible.....and of course always at top speed!!!

    A little ridiculous maybe, but that ,s what helps when you can smile at this post you are on the right path (choo choo...lol).........xxxxxx

  • Thanks stde, think yo're absolutely right - and yeah, it did make me smile, so thanks for that! :) Just so disappointed - thought I'd cracked the "stress" of my sisters visiting, but then suffer for it afterwards! :( xxxxxxx

  • Oh Rose, my little Rose...I know you have been dreading that visit....and it came and went after a hell of a lot of worrying. Now this is the aftermath. It's ridiculous how we are but we are!!!!!What you are going through now is the result of being tense and strong for too long. I know because I do it myself. A big ( well big to us ) event like visitors ,even though family has me on the hop for days beforehand. I wonder if I am right suspecting you are the same? You concentrated so hard while your sisters were with you to appear you were enjoying and joining in their fellowship. Now when they leave you have a massive anti-climax. First elation because you coped.....then down because you HAD TO COPE. It didn't come natural. Ring any bells Rose or am I on the wrong path? Love and Hugs x Ella x

  • Oh, my Ella, you're absolutely on the right path! Yes, as you say, I DID cope - even enjoyed it a bit - but these things take so much more out of us than out of "normal" people! :( I suppose in hindsight I should have expected a "downer" afterwards, but like a chump i didn't, so it came as a real shock - doh! :( One day I'll learn!!! Bless you, hun! xxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi Rose

    Was starting to wonder where you had gone was missing you

    You sound so simular to me , you really do in so many ways

    I get IBS most of the time it gives me the runs , from getting up till aboout 2 in the afternoon , on really bad days , I can even here my stomach making noises , this is why i dont like going out , i need at least 4 hours or more from getting up , to make sure I have stopped trotting of to the toilet !

    If I have a morning appointment , i have to get up at about 5 to make sure , which is why I do my best to avoid them , not always possible , but most of the time I manage

    Also my health which causes pain is also at its worse in the mornings so I get up feeling crap , before i even start ! & again its mid afternoon before I see some improvement

    I take tablets from GP for IBS , they help a little , but dont cure it , I no certain foods will set it of & if I dont resist , I no I will pay the price , especially with the pain , but just sometimes I fancy them ! try not to often though

    But ,,,, stress , anxiety , when going through a bad patch , that i have found is really one of the main causes & I can imagine how you will have felt having your sisters round , so no doubt that will have triggered you of , I no it does me

    Well done though Rose getting through your visit , I no how hard work that must have been & you even enjoyed it a littlle lol

    I no it doesnt help while you are in pain , but it will settle back down , try & keep away from stressful situations for a couple of days , watch what you eat ...as you will already no , & keep remembering as when in pain I forget , this will pass , crap while its bad , but the more I stay as calm as I can , the quicker it settles again

    Pleased to see you on here , even though I can feel your pain , try & relax today , visit over , went well lol

    whywhy x

  • Aww Why, your IBS sounds MUCH worse than mine, really feel for you hun. Mine's the other way round - sorry, had to laugh, when you said "crap while it's bad" - being crude, I'm bad cos I can't crap ROFL (there really should be a "blushing" icon on here, Admins please note! ;) ) Trouble is, for decades literally I suffered the most appalling panic attacks, which took the form of nausea/diarrhoea/vomiting. Don't get them so much - or at all for a while - but when tum plays up (when? like most of the time!) - there's a feedback loop and, whilst i don't actually have a PA, I feel .... er ... crap! cos it bring it back :(

    Gonna have a nice easy day today, and not do ANYTHING I don't want to :-D Well, I'm halfway there, cos the day's half gone anyway! ;)

    bless you, hun, xxxxxxx

  • I think whether its the runs or the constipation , the pain is just as bad with IBS do think alot is stressed related though

    I suppose you try & eat a high fibre diet ? I cant even do that as that send you lol but i no people that have constipation with IBS eat high fibre

    It will settle again Rose :-) x

  • hi been worried about you ,hope your ok

    loulou xx

  • Thanks, Lou, bit better this morning - morning? It's afternoon, Rose, do wake up! (Rose: "Why, what's happening") ;)

    xxxxxx

  • thank you all so much! managed to fall asleep on sofa after posting, just woken up, bit better more later but bless you, you're all so kind! xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hey Rose,

    I'm so sorry hun that you went through that anxiety attack. Glad to hear you've managed to get some sleep. I hope you're feeling calmer now.

  • So glad you have had a sleep love and sorry you had such a :poop: night xxxxxxxx

  • Thanks, hun, just had another sleep lol!!! xxxxxxx

  • Rose. My wife and I send you our prayers and blessings. I hope you can latch on to them because they are sincerely sent. Hope you feel better soon, as I know you will. Lots of Love. jonathan.

  • Bless you, Jonathan, prayers and blessings safely received, thank you both very much. Yes, feeling much better thanks, think it was disappointment with myself as much as anything, when i THOUGHT :( I'd done so well! Oh well, pride goeth before a fall, as they say - but hopefully next time will be easier!

    Lots of love back

    Rose

    xxxx

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