Been to the Docs today....

Well I rang for an appointment to see my gp but cant see him till next Monday...... but the anxiety just got worse, So I went back for a sit and wait appointment, I was worried cos I was thinking she might not give me anything and I cant go on like this, total panic all the time, in-between crying...... anyway she was really good, thinks my anti-depressant may need changing but I said I wanted to see my gp as I don't want it to be worse...S. anyway she gave me diazepam 5mg as I have 2mg which I only take in emergency and they don't seem to be working in this emergency!! She was reluctant cos we all know theyre addictive, but I really cant cope at the minute....... dark thoughts which are very scary and its all too much,,,,, so hopefully I can get through to next Monday, and then see what he says, shes also gona chase up my appointment for cbt which I was referred last Sept..... so fingers crossed. Hope everyone else is ok?? xx

[Hidden]

Hi Anne sorry to hear things are so tough and that you can't get to see your GP till next week. At least the sit in doctor was helpful. I'm sure you am make it to next Monday for your proper appointment. Just keep blogging I'm sure that will be a good help. sending you loads o positive thoughts really do hope things improve for you

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thanks Will, sometimes it has to get worse before it gets better, and actually admitting that I cant cope kinda takes a bit of pressure off..... Ive been to my docs n put on a brave face, I couldn't anymore, and totlally broke down and have been crying all day...... probably good too cos ive bottled my emotion for so long!! Thanks so much for your kind words and I defo will be on here...... I hope you are ok xx

[Gambit62]

Sorry to hear that you are struggling - particularly with the dark thoughts.

Try not to be scared by the dark thoughts - know that is easier said than done - but on one level they are quite natural when you are anxious - if they are the dark thoughts I think they are. Your mind is looking for an out and the big D is the ultimate out. A few months ago I was getting myself into a right state because of dark thoughts and then I realised that my brain was caught in a feed-back loop. I was anxious so the dark thoughts started ... then I found them distressing so more anxiety followed by more dark thoughts. All really horrible and I was really scared that I would actually do something about them. I got out of it by a) recognising what was going on b) looking at the dark thoughts as unwelcome visitors knocking at the door but rather than hiding inside I decided that I would acknowledge them and just say 'not today thank you' - just breaking the habit of sitting there and wishing they would go away was the key. I was determined to go on telling them 'not today thank you' for weeks before they actually got the message but in the end it only took a day or so. They still come occassionally but they get the message much quicker now. I'm not saying it will work for you ... and it may not even make sense to you ... but it might be worth giving it a try.

Thinking of you.

[Hidden in reply to Gambit62]

Thank you so much for your reply and yes it makes perfect sense........ I will do exactly that, thanks so much xx

[Gambit62 in reply to Hidden]

Something that I probably did by instinct but may not be that obvious - when you have told the thoughts 'not today thank you' make sure you have something else to think about - a good memory would be ideal - as that should help with training the brain and getting it out of the rut you are in.

[Hidden]

Sorry anne you are feeling so low , but well done for going to the GP , I no it takes some doing

I am sure they will help you through till Monday , I take the odd one they do help

Trying to think of some magic words here & cant except we are here for you

(((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))))))))))

[Hidden]

Hi Anne I just wanted to say I understand what you are saying and how you are feeling. I think Gambit has given you some great advice.

Bev x

[Cookster99]

When im down and life looks grey, there is one word i always say.............................................................................

SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS. xxx

not much help am i mate, but i hope it made you smile XXX Love Cookie XXX

[Hidden in reply to Cookster99]

yeah it made me smile thank you xx

[Hidden]

Thanks to everyone for your lovely words and advice... it does help........I cried all day..... I had to take 12mg to calm down...... So doc has said to take 5mg twice a day...... woke up this morning still feeling terrible, took my 5mg and its took the edge of it at the min, plus my best mate is coming round cos I need help, I cant cope anymore..... Ive got to try get through to Monday to see my own gp....... really feel like im losing the plot!! Thanks again x