I have to either return to work tomorrow or go to the GP to seek more help. I was signed off last tuesday for 1 week with anxiety, and given some Diazepam. Pleased to say I haven't taken the max 3 per day I was prescribed so have some left which may come in handy. Last couple of days have been hard, especially this morning, thinking about either having to see my GP or return to work. I am still thinking the best way to deal with it is to return to work, especially now my employers know I am having coping issues, and I do plan to return to the GP to follow up what I think was a time bomb that finally tipped me over the edge in the form of a couple of panic attacks. In line with how I have been coping over the last few weeks or months, I am having a bout of IBS, and I have been drinking a tad more (with a loose excuse that it is christmas!)
I am not sure what tomorrow will bring. Nothing has changed, I am still concerned about the fact my coping mechanisms are still in an eroded state, but I also know that if I am off work for too long, my anxiety might be in danger of turning in to depression, so I am trying to relax. It is hard. Used my BP monitor this morning and was showing mild hypertension, but I think if I can get through tomorrow, then it is a step forward, and whether I will end up taking two steps back remains to be seen, but the longer I stay off work, the steeper that first step will be. Lets hope tomorrow, as hard as I think it will be, will be a positive thing.