Humility. Thank you all.

Hi All. I really feel that your answers deserve a blog to themselves. Thank you ALL so much.

Your answers have helped a lot. I do agree; what the heck does it matter from where help comes so long as it is there. Since this site is about 'spilling the beans' I will tell you what brought this bout of introspection on. I was watching TV on Monday evening, all smug in my little 'off tabs' mode when WHAM!!! A real good old fashioned panic attack came out of the blue! It started with feeling a bit dizzy but it only took a few seconds for the real panic. A lot of it was anticipation as today I had to take my wife to hospital for her six month eye check up. I hate hospitals, and the anxiety was there. SHE was not in the least bothered but I felt as if I was going to court for a sentence of ten years! (Hi.ella). Then I thought (fatal) that here's me asking others to ACCEPT and, for a while, I could not do it. I needed reminding that one can talk glibly about something without realising the difficulties involved. I will still advocate acceptance as it did eventually bring me back, but I had to take one 2mg. of tabs this AM to get to the hospital. (good job I kept a few back. eh folks!). I know setbacks do occur, but are difficult to cope with when they do. What you have all said makes sense. And thanks for the explanation of the word 'hubris'. I have, obviously, got the meaning wrong. Anyway, who wants to be pursued by the Furies? Sounds horrible. Rather be anxious! Ah, well; "Once more unto the breech, dear friends, once more". See you on site. Thanks again and love and blessings. jonathan.

[ellabella]

Oh Jonathan, you poor soul, how horrible for you. I'm so glad you are feeling better now. HUBRIS! Do you think this is where "heebie jeebies" comes from? lol I bet it does!. It's such a shock when this happens, but as you say you eventually came back . Thank God for that! Whatever would we do without you????? You did face your fear ( hosp) and I bet that was a good feeling. We will get through this together! watch out world!! and heebie jeebies be damned! love and hugs xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Hidden in reply to ellabella]

Hi.ella. To add to it all the blasted computer crashed!!!!!! Been all morning setting up again. Many thanks for you kind words. Yes feeling better but still a bit anxious. ACCEPT! I know and I am AND it does work when we don't add second fear, BUT it is not easy is it? Thanks again elle. Much Love. jonathan.

[Hidden]

I found that whenever I took even a small dose of benzodiazepines I would have sudden panic hours later, so maybe it was that that caused it? It's one of the infuriating things about those drugs, that they make you feel more relaxed at the time, but for some of us, they end up causing the very same symptoms we took them to get rid of! I eventually decided that for me, even an occasional dose did me more harm than good, as afterwards I would always get the symptoms you describe and it was VERY scary.

Hope you can keep going without them and not lose heart after a wee setback X

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Hi funky. I was not happy about taking any but needs must etc.I will revert to 'normal' mode now but will keep a few by. Thanks for your kind words. It was 'wee' but "IT" is a real swine is it not?

Love and blessings. jonathan.

[daisy459]

Setbacks are difficult but remember that you wouldn't know what a setback was if you wasn't doing so well. It's because you are doing so well that it seemed so hard.

It's not easy and i can understand your hospital issues as i have been the same since my dad died there in July. I take my Claire Weekes book with me when we have to go to see about my others halfs broken wrist and read it while we are waiting. Find some good chapters and book mark them to read when you are waiting and before you go and it will keep you calmer.

Stay strong, you are an inspiration to us all

[Hidden]

Hi. daisy. Many thanks. I took the book yesterday and we were only in there for 30 minutes! Had I not taken the book it would have been 3 hours! (sod's law). Is it not surprising how things seem to conspire against us when we are not up to it. Love. jonathan.