When I first came on this site it was pure chance. I was searching for help with the way I felt and didn't feel as if I could lay it at any mans door that I knew personally. Even my closest family member will never know how I feel, and neither would I want them to. The distress and fear that was coursing through my veins was unbelievable. The crying endlessly and worry about the future was crippling. Abject terror is what I would describe it as.
I was sensitized...been too strong for too long, life event after life event brings this about to some people. I am one of them and I can now look back and face that fact. The physical symptoms of sensitization are unbelievably strong. I couldn't accept that they were not real. They felt real, it was real pain, and still the palpitations really happen . The buzzing in the ears and throat, electric shocks upon waking, sharp pains in the chest and arm , even coloured spots in front of my eyes are real .
It was my REACTION to them that caused panic, another word for fear.
Fear is a natural instinct that we need to keep us safe and alive but when we OVERREACT to fear it becomes , as well as a pain in the backside, a huge problem. You might say the worst feeling in the world.
Here is where acceptance comes in. If we give this fear all the puffed up importance it demands we add fear on to fear and it has us by the throat , literally. If we accept it for what it is, a rush of adrenalin into our blood stream it makes more sense.
I recently had a set back with all the run up to Christmas and the threat of losing my home being a massive factor. Living alone now I am responsible for myself with no one to bounce off or reassure me at home, BUT I have YOU!!!
How lucky am I????I have come through the set back and NOT gone back to square one, as I feared. I've passed through it and it has taken time.....but it doesn't matter any more whether it be weeks , months ,years even. It happens, but people like you don't just happen. Thank you very, very much for all your help and advice and I want to give back in return what I have received ten fold!. You are all Brilliant Friends! Hugs All Round x Ella x