I am a senior who has battled anxiety most of my life. Lately many of our friends and family have passed away. I am beyond terrified of death and am now living ea day in FEAR. I have tried everything suggested to overcome my thoughts to no avail. When the fear hits I feel a smothering feeling of cold. I feel short of breath and terrified. My family is tired of hearing me talk about it but I cannot stop. I have to go out of town for a medical procedure in 3 days. Most would say it is nothing to fear, an epidural for pain from a damaged nerve. Has anyone ever been able to resume a normal life after having GAD and Panic Disorder? I wake in fear ea morning. This is not how I want to spend my last years. Am I the only one like this? Thank you for listening.
Looking for support from excess anxiety - Anxiety Support
Looking for support from excess anxiety
Hi. Sorry to learn that you are suffering.
I've travelled that same path, had the same symptoms you describe which are extremely common.
The good thing is, you can overcome anxiety.
I bought a book by Dr Claire Weekes which explained everything about my suffering. I followed her teachings, accepting all the fearful thoughts and feelings, instead of trying to get rid of them.
You mentioned that you've been struggling with it for a long time and I suspect that is why many sufferers stay trapped in the fear-adrenalin- fear cycle. It's their struggle that causes most of the symptoms to stick around instead of doing nothing about them and developing a genuine attitude of caring less them [being ok about not being ok], even when the symptoms are raging.
Best wishes!
Thank you for taking the time to reply I have the book you mentioned and read it twice but my mind is so strongly focused on death and fear that nothing helps me Yes I think its my daily struggle that causes this battle to linger, I pray nightly and hope one day God will ans, my prayers.
Although fears might be different, the 4 principles described by Dr Weekes apply to all. It took me and my very anxious brain time to relate to the contents of her book and I struggled with the concept of acceptance for a while. I remember feeling extremely anxious which spiked when i read about sufferers being convinced by their anxiety that they didn't love their spouse. That resonated with me and my anxiety went through the roof! The feelings were so strong about not loving my wife, I thought they must be true and sent me into a downward tailspin. Those thoughts became very sticky, wouldnt leave me alone and I reached a point where I was scared to look at my wife!
The thoughts bothered me alot but through facing those fears and accepting all that came with that, those fears gradually dissipated and sank without trace.
What you are experiencing is no different to the fears I had. It is all created by anxiety and fears magnified tenfold. If you didn't have anxiety, those thoughts would not be laced with fear and hardly noticeable as they float through and able to let them go very easily.
Keep reading that book and learn to let go of those thoughts and feelings. Recovery will come to you.
I've posted alot information on this forum about how to overcome anxiety which you might find helpful. All based on my experience travelling along that road to recovery, accepting come what may.
Best wishes !
i agree if I didn't have GAD I would not think the way I do, filled with fear. I have had it since a child so it has been with me a LONG time. Yes I;ve gone to specialists, tried all sorts of things but as one doctor told me "the mind is the strongest organ in the body" and how true that is!!! Thank you for replying .
I totally agree with Beevee that acceptance is the key, the reality is that anxiety is a paradox and the more we struggle or fight it the more it persists so surrendering is the key and getting ok with being uncomfortable.
I use to have a strong fear of dying but started facing my fear of it by reading the obituaries and articles of people dying and then started cultivating my own spiritual beliefs. The reality is that we all are going to physically die at some point but my belief is that we are spiritual beings on this earth and our spiritual self continues on to our next adventure. My belief has helped me surrender to and enjoy the flow of life and be more present and happy in my life. Death is just a new beginning.
Yes, I think we have to accept that life ends for all of us at some time. Thank you for sharing your beliefs. I believe in an after life but it is the thought of the process of death. I will try to take it day by day. I have found out I am not alone and others have my fears too.
You're welcome and don't be hard on yourself, I think it's only natural that as we get older we have more thoughts of dying. Another thing that helped me was learning that anxiety can be a distorted form of us trying to have control but the reality is that the only control we have is over our next breath. Our natural state as humans is to be without fear so our fear/anxiety is learned behavior which means we can unlearn it.
No, you are Not alone. I would make a bet that Most, if not all humans have some fear of death --it's only human to have. But, as Dr. Weeks points out in one of her books & shall paraphrase, "The Nervously ill person's fears are magnified, and thus we need to bring our fears (be they illness, death, being alone, & so on), we need to bring our fears to "normal" intensity --it's not so much the fear, but the exaggerated place it takes in our mind! And, yes "Face, Accept, Float, Let Time Pass" is the key. Now, I turned 80 (Even older than you), and have had Anxiety (Severe at times) since I was born (and, probably before as it's (Fear) been passed down from generation to generation! Anyway, I didn't get any proper help for my Nervous Illness, or whatever you want to call the Damn "beast" till I was 58. Was Diag. with GAD, OCD, and probably PSTD! I am still an anxious person, but I do see that letting the thoughts float through & trying not to be Too upset by them helps. Oh, it's NOT easy & I "slip" many times. But, I do have group therapy (and, many our age in the group), have other support groups (Grief Support Gp. as many losses incl. my Sig. Other of 27 years), helps, read countless articles on mental health, and other support like this HU site. Doing the "one day at a time" things helps. It's not easy as I am aging alone --We didn't have children, and even so can't really depend on children as many of my friends with adult children tell me! Hugs to you, and hope all our posts help in some way.
Thank you so much for your reply. Like you I have had anxiety and fears since a child. I know this sounds crazy but during the day I feel short of breath then wonder "Am I going to stop breathing and slowly smother?" the fear is so strong. I go tomorrow for the epidural in my back and on the thoughts of "what if" in my mind are plentiful. Yes you are right, we need to bring our fears to normal intensity, Difficult but we must try. My thoughts are with you. Take care.
Thank you. Hope all goes well/went well with the epidural. My Brother had an epidural, recently, for his back pain & it helped him A lot. He has a Hot Tub in his backyard which, also, helps. Try some Diag. breathing & should help in all areas! I know about those, "What If's" which I am dealing with --AWFUL! Let us know how everything is going.
Thank you. I hope the epidural helps too. It's been 2 yrs now with a pinched nerve. I will ty to keep the "what ifs" at bay.
Hi am sorry to hear you are feeling like this. Two things that I have come across one is the work of Harry Barry drharrybarry.com/resources/ he has excellent advice on overcoming GAD. The other is a new type of therapy that is outlined below. I hope you find it useful. youtube.com/watch?v=eIxVfln... Wishing you peace and health.
oh my God. I only wish there was a way we could actually connect people on here. I’m talking in general instead of just texting like this or writing messages back-and-forth. I wish I could give you my phone number because honestly I know exactly what you’re going through I’m a 65-year-old man and sometimes I feel like, you just can’t win for all of the fears that we have. I also have the same thing you have as my family passes away the anxiety and fear of death gets worse and worse. I also hate living like this if there was a way that we could talk , like on the phone or something that would be great. But I feel you man I’m sorry I’ve been going through this for 40 years now since 1985 and yes it’s overwhelming. I create my own pains and all kinds of things thinking I’m having heart attack and all kinds of weird diseases, and I’ve been battling a sore left shoulder and , this is been going on for almost 2 weeks now and the more I think about it the more crazy stuff I think in the worse it feels and it goes on and on. And yes, I don’t talk to my family about it either because they don’t want to hear you . If we could think of a way to just talk or something, you know, it would be so much more helpful I think than this this is OK but anyhow will try to hang in there. If there’s anything I could do, I’d be more than happy to help and listen .
Could you private message each other and agree to swap phone numbers ? I have "met" people on the NHS forums and have kept them as friends
I do not have a cell phone and would be leery of giving out personal info but its a good idea is you want
I don't see why you can't if you Both agree to! I have been writing a person I met on this HU site for Months. We exchanged phone nos., text, at times, but mostly just write each other. So, just be careful as you would on any site,
I agree I joined HU in 2016 and I have a lovely friend from then and like you we message regularly
Yes you just have to be careful like anything
I wish them both luck in being a great support to each other
By the way I see you are a Dr Claire Weeks fan ?
She has got me through some very bad times
Yes, Dr. Weeks is the Best book on Anxiety Disorders that I have read & I've read Many! In "our time" as you know there wasn't much help, & certainly NO proper help & one just mostly kept their Anxiety, and or Depression to themselves. We suffered in Silence --The Stigma then was Overwhelming, and worse (if that could be) then the "disease!" You just "shut up," which made it worse & a protracted condition! I pickup Dr. Weeks works in the 70's & honestly don't know what I would have done if I hadn't just "ran into her book!" She's gotten me through some pretty rough times, too. My Sig. Other was a BIG fan of her's, too -we both suffered from Anxiety. Glad, you too, found a friend on HU!
Oh yes having anxiety in the 70's was like the dark ages I can remember my doctor at the time standing up at his desk and saying" You have something called agoraphobia I'll give you some tablets and it was will go eventually "
From that day on I just struggled alone
No one talked about it I was told to stop thinking about it - think about something else -etc etc
I just picked up a repeat prescription for Valium and then Ativan for years and looking back I don't know how I got through it
Oh yes the stigma
I remember Dr Weeks used to be on tv on things like Pebble Mill
Her book was my saviour I still have it
It's so lovely that times have changed now
All the best
Yes, so many have told me to "just stop thinking about it"...."don't be so crazy" As a kid our dr told my mom "she is just doing it for attention". I still have Dr. Weeks book too. I must read it again" I helps a bit to know I am not alone and can come here. I still take Ativan and Luvox. I just need to get through the epidural today and make it home. thank you for your reply.
Agree, and went through similar what you went through. The 70's was the "dark ages" of Mental Illness! I am So thankful that it's different today & people talk about it, and there is better help though needs A lot of improvement, still! I don't think that Dr. Weeks was ever on TV in the USA. I did listen to her sweet voice on tapes that I had! And, yes my doctor gave me Valium & I took it for years, helped some. Am now on Ativan (very small dose of 1/2 of 1 mg.)!
I take 2 mg ativan per day plux luvox. Can't say it gets rid of the fear but if I quit it what then? I feel I have to just try to get through one day at a time
One day at a time is all we can do & that's not easy, at times! I, also, was taking 150 mg. of Effexor for my OCD, am down to 12-1/2 mg. Slowly, Very slowly went to 100 mg. for over a year, then to 50 mg., maybe another year, then to 25 mg., and now at 12-1/2. I don't see any bad side-effects from going down to such a low dose as it was over a couple of years. However, I may be more depressed now on top of anxiety which I always have, but have many "tools," to manage. Thing is I don't know if my depression (or, feeling not up) is from the lower dose of Effexor, or mostly I think from the loss of my Sig. Other who was my Best Friend, my love, my Anchor, my Person. Hard to tell is it Grief, is it the med., is it getting older & quite alone --aging alone, or a combination of all I wrote in this post. Re. the Ativan --I am, also, afraid to stop it altogether as have been warned about those type of meds.
I cannot imagine losing your sig. other. We have been married 55 yrs and I would not know how to live without him. I took Paxil for numerous yrs and it helped. then it stopped so I quite it and oh what a reaction even though I did it slowly. I was another person. A maniac. I've been on Ativan for at lease 40 yrs I think and have no intension of stopping it. It is snowing out here. I cannot believe FL and the snow. I am ready for tulips to bloom.
Yes, it's quite the heartache losing your "Other Half." We were together for 27 years. It's been two years since he's gone, and it's a struggle. I had a Grief Counselor that helped me. Pathways Grief Support. I am now in two Grief Support Groups that are helpful. I am SO glad that you & your husband now have 55 years together & may there be MANY more! Cherish each other!
I have heard some "horror" stories re. getting off those SSRI's, or SRI's --sorry, you had a bad time of it. Glad that the Ativan is working.
Our weather is warm (I live on West Coast) & if it gets in the 50's here, people think that's "Cold!" Guess, you are laughing about that!
I have fear of being alone. I don't eve like it when he goes out to golf or play darts. I start to over think. My bro. in law passed away with cancer. His wife lived very close to us. We got a call from a friend of hers in the US saying she couldn't get hold of her. My husband went up and she was found passed away in bed. That is also how we acquied Callie her sweet 14 yr old dog. Our Dusty is 14 as well. They both get along great and we love them so much. It is just a "what if" fear of mine being alone. I am glad you have your Grief Support groups. I would seek them out too. That is funny....that 50F is cold. They would not like our winters where wind chill can take it to -30c. I miss the Imperial system but the Metric has been with us since my highschool days. Time for coffee.
Very sorry to hear of your losses --when we get older people do leave us more & that's SO hard to take! Glad you could provide a home for the doggie & that both dogs get along.
What can I say, aging alone is Not easy. Mike (my Sig. Other) & I had no children, and even if we did I would not expect them to take care of me, but at least I would have someone I could count on from time to time. I do have a cousin who lives close by now, but I don't want to be a bother, but we do get together often. The "what-ifs" Get to me, also. I don't mind living alone except, of course, the Sadness & grief over Mike. But, I am am SCARED to pieces if I should get ill, or something happen to me. I lost the two people who I could really count on, my Mom & my Mike & now while I do have a Brother & SIL, they live far away, and are not emotionally there for me, anyway. I do suppose that I have to depend on the "kindness of strangers," like doctors, or nurses if needed. I need to find out resources for people aging alone --it's NOT easy!
Our Winters are mild being in the Bay Area ---but, we have Earthquakes -- EEKKKKKKK!
Yes both dogs are fine together. Prior to losing our oldest bro. in law we lost our youngest and his partner too. I am like you...TERRIFIED if I get ill....what if??? even tho I have my husband here. Our daughter is 3+ hrs away Oh NOOO earthquakes. Ontario is very lucky to not have weather episodes of a magnitude. Snow in winter but not much this yr.
I wish that we had a way to lessen our fears esp. the one of possibly getting ill & alone. Even when my Sig. Other was alive, I was a MESS when ill, but at least I had him by my side. Before, him, I would RUN to my Mom's when I was ill --I just would Panic & would wind up in the ER, at times from the Panic! Have to work on these Fears, and I do have an OCD Group once a week & doing Cognitive Therapy, self talk, read articles, do Deep Breathing & Yet, my fears persist! I do think that many people even if they don't have an Anxiety Disorder have fears of being alone & ill, but they don't PANIC, they don't "fall apart," there fears aren't SO darn strong as ours. Don't have any answers, wish I did. Strong faith may help --Wish I had!
I truly understand about "fear and panic" when ill. No matter how hard you try to talk yourself "down" it is a no go. I talk to a therapist monthly. I really find it helps. I too have done group therapy and wish I could find another one. I believe in angels and talk to mine a lot. It helps at the time.
Yes, having a "higher power" be it Angels, a Spirit Guide, a Force in the Universe, God, of course Helps --then, you don't feel So alone!
Oh I didn't realise you were in the USA Isn't it amazing we can sit and write to each other
We used to have a lovely programme here at lunchtimes called Pebble Mill at One and Dr Claire Weeks was often on it
I used to find her such a comfort I was very poorly then
Yes it's so different now
I could write a book about all the things people have said to me when I have been brave enough to tell people I had anxiety
I was even told I was a selfish person having it as I was just thinking about myself
Now people's reactions are so much kinder
thankfully
I am in Ontario Canada. I too have had people bash me with "just stop it, don't be so crazy, you are a real piece of work" That was back then, they wouldn't say that to me now as I have developed a "mouth" and they would be backed against a wall lol Yes now people understand it seems. We are having snow flurries right now and it is still minus 15 c outside. God bless the homeless and animals out in in.
Good for you Kama I am much more assertive now
I had a "friend "say to me last year after I commented and said it was nice to see the photo of her and a group of friends she had sent me
She replied You could have friends too if you worked hard !
She meant getting rid of anxiety
I do have lovely friends
Oh wow it's very cold there
Yes the homeless and animals
Take care I hope you are ok
Your friend was rude!! She has obviously never "walked in your shoes" Tonight it is supposed to feel like -30c. I cannot believe the photos we are seeing of snow in FL. They would be totally unprepared for it. We Canadians are used to the cold and snow. I;m not saying all of us like it though lol
Yes, I find it amazing, too, writing you Across SO many, many miles away. I live on the West Coast of America & that makes us about a nine hour plane ride away! I once was in London in my early thirties, and now here I am eighty & that was MANY moons ago, but I shall never forget that beautiful trip to four countries in Europe! Dr. Weeks, in her books, and tapes, came across as such a kind & understanding person --It was as if she were sitting right next to you. Read her bio. on my phone & she had had anxiety so she truly understand All -really! I could write a book, too, --I cannot begin to tell you how Horribly I was treated by some family members who were actually angry at me as they hadn't a clue & neither did I, but my Mom was kind even tho. she didn't understand what was going on. Other family (sibling) was beyond cruel, & don't forget as never got an apology - honestly, I doubt they would "get it," even today, though they now understand better! I was told, among many other things, that I was lazy, looking for attention, not trying, etc., etc. --couldn't be further from the truth. Yes, today SO much more understanding, more compassion, more knowledge!
I'm so sorry that you have had such horrible treatment from your family but actually I'm not surprised at all as it was such a stigma then So awful for you to hear those things It's a very real illness and so hard to live with My sister called round to see me with a friend out of the blue one day I was upstairs with the window open and as she stood at the door waiting for me to open it I heard her say to her friend that she would have to make allowances for me as I was really mental
It's such a different world now
Oh the West Coast how wonderful
Takes me back to the 60's and hearing all the Beach Boys songs about the West Coast
I'm west of London in a county called Hampshire
I worked in London in the 60's it was amazing I met my husband there and have been married for 54 years this year !
Wishing you well
hi, we will be married 56 yrs next Nov. It is sad what your sister said. I have a friend who lives in Hexham in the UIK. We keep in touch regularly. WE are both animal lovers and enjoy talking about our pets. I loved the Beach Boys too. The snow is getting deeper now. May need to snow blow later today. I hope today is a good day for you.
I think we are so lucky to be married for so long it's really wonderful Congratulations on your 56 years I don't know Hexham but have been to Northumberland and it's beautiful
That's so nice that you keep in touch
I am a massive animal lover too
I hope you are ok with the snow
We have a big storm heading out way tomorrow we are all bracing ourselves
Yes a lovely day thank you
I do volunteer work for a local animal rescue Fixed Fur Life. I do auctions on line and a yard sale. We handle mostly cats and kittens fixedfurlife if you want to look at it. Yes Hexham is in Northumberland out in the country. Hubby got home from playing darts at the ANAF and then got the snow blower out to do the driveway. It is starting to stay light later now, 5 o'clock and still light out now. Our 2 dogs, Dusty and Callie just had supper. Hubby had to shovel a trail around the back yard as their legs are so short lol. I hope you have a good evening.
What a wonderful thing to volunteer at an animal rescue centre Will have a look
Hope you are coping in the snow
Aww 2 dogs how lovely
Yes we love our fur babies. Our daughter has 2 dogs and a cat, all rescues like ours. Our eldest granddaughter has 2 rescue cats from Fixed Fur Life. Sadly our daughter just had to say good bye to her 3rd dog, Asia was 18 yrs old and had dementia and seizures. It breaks you heart.
Geez, what we had to endure in the "olden" days just because we had Anxiety & or Depression. What your Sister said was Awful --but I am not surprised, either, as that's how it was back then --SO much ignorance!
Yes, I was pretty much into the Beach Boys & their music --In fact, I went to many concerts in those days (even before the Beach Boys), and where I lived, it was "Rockin & Rollin!" I am not taking a class on the History of Rock 'n Roll at the Senior Center & fifteen "Old" Baby Boomers in the class --it's Not your Grandmother's Senior Center!
I have heard of Hampshire, and in fact had a pen friend who lived near there --we wrote for some thirty years --hand-written letters, then. She would send me brochures of the Royals as A lot of us in the USA are fascinated with them --I am!
I worked Many years in San Francisco in the heart of the Financial District! Can't get any far West Coast then that! Live, now, not too far from S.F.
I can just imagine London in the 60's -- But, I will say that San Francisco in the 60's was a place that I was So fortunate to be, You really had to be there to take it all in!!!
NOW taking a class, & I wrote "Not" --Typos
Another cold day here, -16c right now, but its been colder. Apparently there is a terrible storm going on in Hexham England. They have closed streets, stores, schools etc. the fire dept has been out as some roofs have been torn off. Jan. is almost over and I will be glad when Mar. arrives, ....a foot in the door to spring. FL sure must be in shock with snow there. We have 2 neighbours who are there for the winter months. I bet they are in shock. I love all the "old" singers, Jimmy Buffet was a fav of mine. I have lived here all my life as has my husband. Our daughter lives up past Toronto. Time for morning coffee, have a good day.
Must have been just amazing in SF in the 60's We had Scott McKenzie singing Lets Go to SF Oh wow what a fantastic course to do Enjoy
Where did your penfriend live in Hampshire ?
We are near Windsor which is over the border in Berkshire Love the Royals
Oh it was so awful in the dark days with anxiety and depression no one understood
I can't believe it when I look back
Hope your day has been a good one
My Pen Pal Friend lived in East Heckington, Nr. Boston Lincs., not Hempshire. She, also, lived in Shopeshire (but, I am misspelling that, I know). She lived in London in the 60's, but I can't remember. I haven't heard from her for a little over two years, and don't know if she is still with us. She was a Type I Diabetic, and I just don't know how to find out what happened. We had never even talked on the phone! But, we shared many, many letters & thirty years is a long time!
Yes, I was one of those "flower children" who followed Scott McKenzie's song, only I happened to Live in San Francisco --was born there & lived, in fact, right across the street from Golden Gate Park! What a lucky little child to have Golden Gate Park as my "backyard!" We lived very close to Haight Street, and I was 21, 22 when ALL the hippies came from All over the USA to San Francisco. I worked during the week, and on the weekends spent every weekend at the "Love-in's", Be-ins, listened to the Grateful Dead, Country Joe & the Fish, and other bands which weren't famous then --We heard them for Free! I could spend hours writing about those days, but will just say --It WAS more then Amazing -- you didn't have to be on anything (I was afraid of the drugs & good thing), I was just "high" on Everything going on & there was Plenty & I was Young, and that was the place to be! Never will forget!
Yes, I can't believe how we actually got by having a Nervous (Anxiety, Panic, or whatever you want to call it) illness in those AWFUL "Dark Ages" of mental illness. Perhaps, in some strange way, We just HAD to be more resilient, or something like that --what do they say, "Necessity is the Mother of Invention!"
It is 7.30 am here and every Saturday morning I listen to a Sounds of the 60's show on the radio So many happy memories
I can't begin to imagine just how amazing it must have been to have lived in San Francisco Wow you have such fantastic memories
Over here it was Liverpool in the 60's that was huge but not as glamorous as your experiences ! I was totally in love with Paul McCartney as was every other young teenage girl
The Golden Gate bridge is just so iconic
What a shame you have lost touch with your friend
Lincolnshire and Shropshire are lovely counties
I have a friend in Cambridgeshire that is on Facebook and she has loads and loads of friends on it from Lincolnshire If you want to give me a name it would be a shot in the dark but hey ho you never know
I think that having anxiety has made me a better person
I still don't think I'm as good as other people but I know I'm very empathetic and get nice comments that I am very thoughtful
Sorry don't mean that in a big headed way
Take care and nice to chat to you
No I never lived in SF, always in Ontario Canada. I think Weatherwoman lived there. I like Do Ho's singing. I have a cd of him at the cottage and like to lie out in the hammock and listen to him. I remember in highschool, kids were wearing Beatle boots and top. Oh those were the days. lol it is good to be kind and thoughtful. I like to do for others and help out. We have a lot of homeless people here and I've been going through and donating winter clothes to them
Out all day today & tired out, but want to thank you for your lovely post. I will ans. tomorrow!
Woke to light snow. I've been up since 2am!! I was just dozing off at 5:45am and I heard our dog get up so I let him out. Ended up he stayed quiet until 645am and I just got up. The life of a dog mom!!! I was put on an iron pill about 4 months ago and now for some reason I wake nauseated ea morning. Of course I am "wondering". It is now 8:17am and the 2 dogs and I are wide awake. Hubby is taking advantage of Sunday morning. I'm glad you got out and about yesterday. I hope eventually I will be able to as the dr. does more epidurals. Have a lovely Sunday!!
Perhaps, you could cut down on those iron pills as they may have upset your tummy!
Hopefully, the epidurals will help you going out, Prayers!
last night I did not take one even though they are a prescription.....no nausea this morning. Maybe I will try taking one earlier in the day as dr. said my blood work showed Im anemic
Hopefully, that will work. Prayers
It did, will continue to take it earlier from now on
Hi & thx. for your post which I enjoyed reading. Looks like we both had some fantastic memories of those once in a "Blue Moon," times in the 60's. Yes, San Francisco was definitely the place to be when the "flower children" came thinking we could actually change the world with kindness, peace, & love. Oh, my how Naive we were, but I am do think that every generation has these ideals! And, A lot did change over the years for good & much not SO good as we well know!
Me, too, in love with Paul McCartney. I can just imagine the how it was in Liverpool in the 60's. When the Beatles came to the USA in 1964, it was Utter Mayhem --USA kids went "crazy" for them & the Beatles & UK music influence Rock 'n Roll from then on. When the Beatles came to S.F., they were staying at the Hilton Hotel downtown. I will Never forget going with a friend to the Hilton Hotel & witnessing hundreds, & hundreds of young girls (incl. us) Screaming outside standing in the street --some of the girls were fainting, and the police had to attend to them! It was Unbelievable --I remember one of the Beatles waving a white handkerchief out the window & it was as if "Jesus" had come back to Earth!!!
I do appreciate your offer to try & look up my "lost" Pen Friend, but I don't feel comfortable putting out her name on this, or any FB site! Too bad, but there are Too many Scammers on every site, and nowadays not a good idea. I will be contacting her, again --
I can just tell by your posts that you are a caring & thoughtful person. No, you are not "big headed," to say that --I do think that our horrible suffering with "mental illness," has made us more empathetic, certainly more understanding. Altho. I will bet that we were already more sensitive to begin with. I think that I have a fine character (far from perfect, of course), but I feel Sad A lot that I had wasted so much time of my life with the Panic, fears, Anxiety. And, I don't blame anyone, & not at all myself. It is just what happened for Many reasons, and at a time when there was NO help, NO understanding, Nothing as we have stated. I still struggle; but, now there is help & better understanding.
Good to chat with you, too!
Oh the 60's what a time it was -what has happened to the world now it's just so so sad You have such amazing memories and San Francisco what better place to have been
I used to see it all on TV it was amazing
Oh Paul McCartney I was absolutely mad on him I would cry seeing him on TV He was my first love and I say to my husband that I gave him up to marry him 🤣
My husband met the Beatles and loads of pop stars as his sister was best friends with a girl who presented the most popular pop programme on TV and they got free tickets to go every week
We have a video of him dancing as the Beach Boys played and walking down behind Marvin Gaye ! In fact I saw my husband on TV 2 years before I met him as they used to do a mime competition and he took part !!
I can just imagine the Beatles in the USA
I remember the scenes at Heathrow airport when they returned
I remember John Lennon getting into trouble as he said they were more popular than Jesus
We live close to George Harrisons house that his wife and son still live in When he died we put flowers at the gate and when we are over that way I always think of lovely George he was my second favourite
Oh I totally understand about giving me a name Sorry I should have thought about that as I'm the same and worry about these awful people that are out there
What I will do is ask my friend to put on her Facebook if anyone who lived where you said and had a pen pal in San Francisco for 30 years that you would love to hear from her again
Would that be ok ? That's not giving out any private info and only that person would know how to contact you ?
It's a very long shot but who knows 🤞
I went to my lovely exercise class last Thursday and a lady who hadn't been there for a while came in She said she hasn't been as she has been taking her friend who has bad anxiety to a knitting group as she can't go out otherwise
Without hesitation I said I have anxiety too and I have offered to take some books on anxiety that I don't feel I need now when I go this week
I can't tell you the feeling of saying I have anxiety and not feeling ashamed about it
I never ever would have owned up in the dark days
As Diana Ross said" I'm Coming Out "😊!
Have a lovely day and great to chat x
Thank you, again, for a most interesting post. Your husband was lucky to have access to the Beatles & other pop groups --WOW -what memories & memories he shares with you! Geo. Harrison was brilliant as were the rest of them. Sad that only two still remain alive. The day that John Lennon died in such a Tragic way, I will Never forget --Time kind of stopped in many parts of the U.S. as well in the U.K. One, always remembers where one was on those Terrible times & we witnessed too many of them through the years.
Yes, it would be just fine putting info. about a Pen Friend (we called them "Pen Pals," in those days) corresponding from the town I mentioned. It was much more than 30 years that we corresponded & why I said "30," I don't know as actually, it was 50 years as when we started she was 29, I was 32, and I lost track of her about five years ago, and that would put me at 75, and her at 72!!! Now, is that a "Senior Moment," I don't know, but the years just slipped by & are the older I get, the faster they go!!!
I could certainly relate to what you wrote re. that women in your exercise & her friend with anxiety, and how now you could tell her about your anxiety, offer help, and not be ashamed! Me, too --I have no problem nowadays offering my help re. anxiety to others & I have given references to books, "tools" to use, advice, etc. It's like coming "out of the closet" that we were in for a Long time! While many sad things have happened to our world, some good things have taken place, as well, as now being able to be Open, to be vulnerable about having Anxiety, or depression, or other emotional problems. This IS progress!
Hello Weatherwoman Love that name ! We have a lovely TV programme here and it's called Weatherman Walking !
Oh gosh John Lennon it was just SO awful
I remember so clearly we had been to our eldest son's school concert and we came home to the news I noticed our clock in the lounge had stopped and at that exact time too
I'm glad that my husband saw it as it sounds too incredible to be true
It was the most awful awful time wasn't it
Have you ever seen the film "Yesterday" about a young boy who has an accident and wakes up in a world where no one has ever heard of The Beatles ? It's so good and when they go and find John Lennon it takes your breath away as the actor who plays him is identical
Ringo is still going strong and just released a new album hasn't he and Paul - our darling Paul - was on our TV at the weekend still looking lovely talking about AI in pop music
Well I have asked my friend about your pen pal she hasn't replied yet but she knows so many people on Facebook and goes to meet up with new people she has "met" on there all the time
She was born in Lincolnshire too so I know it's a very long shot but who knows it's worth a try
Kami has just gone on to private messaging on here would you like to do that ?
I'm not sure how to do it
I am loving our chats
Oh I feel so liberated now being able to come out of the closet about anxiety
I'm looking forward to taking my books on anxiety to the exercise class on Thursday knowing that they will help someone
I went on a course this summer It was run by my arthritis support group for self management and they talked about anxiety a lot and that it went hand in hand with pain It was all discussed as it should be as a proper illness It was so wonderful
You are so right there are some things that have got better in this sad world now
I hope that you have a wonderful peaceful day Take care x
Hi --Just a "quickie" as I had a Long day with my Brother & SIL visiting from Laguna Niguel which is in Southern Calif. They are not far from Los Angeles which has been hit by some of the worst wild fires in California's history. They are fine, but their backyard is Full of Soot, and debris & the air is not healthy in SoCal (as we call it)! More on that with my cousin's who live in Brentwood, as very wealthy neighborhood of L.A.
I, also, went out to a meeting tonight so am "tuckered out!"
I thank you for your wonderful post & I will ans., hopefully, tomorrow night.
Weatherwoman
As long as you are ok that's all that matters I wanted to ask you about the LA fires as it's been huge headline news here So heartbreaking
Take care and I'll look forward to your next message x
Yes, I am & rest of our family in SoCal are okay. My cousin's Son & family stayed with their Grandparents (my cousin) for a few days, and then they stayed with friends in Napa (Northern California) for a few days & are finally going back to their home in Brentwood Area in Los Angeles. You might have heard of Brentwood as that is where the infamous O.J. Simpson lived! Anyway, the house in Brentwood is fine; however, the kids school burnt down --I don't know when everything will come back & it could take a Very long time. I am kind of surprised that those wild fires got huge headline news in your "neck of the woods," as here in the US, we don't get much World news coverage --Oh, we get if something Drastic happens worldwide, but on the average day, it's our national & local news that dominates. I don't think we'd get Hugh headlines if the kind of fire broke out in your area -- We do have BBC channel, but mostly Our Own cable stations, and basic stations which feature Local news.
Am back on HU tonight. I've been busy going out since Sunday, and here it is Wednesday. Have appts. on Thurs., & Friday this week. It's good to be busy, but I do need more balance between doing & resting. It's not really my age so much as some health issues that I deal with like Diabetes, and Myasthenia Gravis in which I need to rest more!
Yes, I catch Paul McCartney & Ringo on TV, at times -- still going strong & both are 80, or a tad older, I think!
Love our chats, too, & we could go on private message. I am not computer savvy, either!
The body & mind cannot be separated as one affects the other --However, the medical profession still doesn't seem to get that! We are a Whole being, body, mind, soul --can't be separated. Some doctors know this, but not enough!
Weatherwoman
I think you have me mixed up with someone, maybe Cat33. I didn't mention anything about looking up your "lost" pen pal. Sometimes it gets confusing on here when you are not in the private "chat" room.
Oh, am really sorry about that -- I am now chatting with "kama24" and "Cat 33" & getting them mixed up! I just ans. the previous post, and think I am on the right one, but looks like I "goofed up" there! Also, I am not computer savvy At All!
yes that is why I basically only use private chat. If you look at the top of this page you will see "chat" . It keeps it seperate when replying lol
OK!
Sounds like you had a great youth.....I grew up in a very small town in Ontario and the biggest excitement would be the annual Fair lol We are getting light snow flakes falling. I was aa great Elvis lover, those were the days.
I Loved Elvis, too! Never got to see him in person tho. I had wanted to! My Oh my, those were the days, YES!
I still love to listen to his music. there were so many great singers in our day. I'm not a fan of "rap" music or some of the modern types. Old fashion I guess.
Kinda like Rap as it's Got the Beat!!! But, none the newbee music can compare with "Our" music, you are Right there!
My pen pal lives in Hexham, Northumberland. I have another girl friend in England. We me over 50 yrs ago when she came to town to live with her aunt and uncle a while. She used to live in Wiltshire but has moved. We just email now so I don't have her address. I love Princess Di and Kate. Don't ask my opinion about King Charles. We had snow flurries this am. Sun is out now and it is up to -3c.
I never had anyone be really overly rude or mean to me. I am so sorry you had to endure that. We do not live too far from Lake Ontario and often get the snow effect. BIG flakes coming down now. Gosh remember the days of no computers or even electric type writers. So much has changed. I'm sorry you are alone. I hope you have friendly neighbours or someone to talk to you here and there. MY best friend of over 60 yrs (we went to school together) lives in Toronto, but that is a 3 hr driive from me. We phone and email. Take care.
I wish I could say her book helped me. Here I am still full of anxiety and fear but I'm trying to beat it. Today I go for a medical procedure out of town. I am really battling panic but I have to get through it. Thank you for messaging me.
I'm a Dr Weekes fan too, In case no one had noticed 😍
She provides the tools, the rest is up to us.
I don't mind messaging or emailing someone but I am leery about giving out phone #s I do keep in touch with 2 people I met on here. The one has become a close friend along with his family.
Thank you for replying. I am like you, chest pain is a heart attack, stomach pain is cancer. This pinched nerve I am going to get an epidural for, is going to "require surgery" or so my mind thinks. You are still young really. I totally understand and relate to how you think and your fears. Our daughter send me a print out about Overthinkers and I read it constantly. It makes sense but yes, we have to absorb it and that is almost impossible. I will share it with you
Every Overthinker Needs to Read This
You are loved. Someone out there loves
You more than you think!
Your anxiety will tell you the worse case Scenario.
It’s a lie, don’t listen !
Keep your mind off things that don’t help you think
Positively. Keep yourself distracted from bad thoughts.
You are strong and you can get through everything one
Step at a time.
It’s ok not to be ok. But make sure you speak to someone
And let go of any negative emotions.
You’ve already survived things you didn’t think you would.
No matter what anyone tells you, You’re amazing, smart and
You matter!
No you are certainly not the only one My heart goes out to you and I'm so sorry for all the loss you have suffered
Have you tried Talking Therapy ?
They are very good and you can self refer and see someone or get a phone appt very quickly
I can recommend Andrew Major You Tube videos too he has a good range that are easy to listen to
on your phone
Good luck with your procedure hope that all goes well
You can and will get better
All the very very best
Hi, yes I have been seeing via video a wonderful phsycologist here in town. I feel good after I talk to her but the fear returns especially when we lose another friend or relative. In all honesty I never thought I'd ever be this old...76....I constantly think about our relatives who have passed. Thank you for your kind words.
Yes, I live with the same fear, day in and day out. I know we’re all going to die but that doesn’t help this dread at all.
It’s getting worse the older I get and I cannot get a handle on it. I’m ruining every day that I have left . I try my best not to think about it, there is not anything that any of us can do about it but it is destroying every day that I have on this earth. I recognize that it is futile and ridiculous to fear something we all have no control over but there it is….Every single day!!!🤦🏻♀️
I am the same as full of fear and anxiety, mine are migraine auras , life in fear every day, I have got a little help since watching . DAN, PAIN FREE YOU. ON YOUTUBE. HE has lots of videos. It helps me worth a look. Good luck , anxiety is awful. I have driven my family mad with asking for reassurance.
I know about driving your family crazy with asking for help, reassurance and questions they can;t ans. I guess we are not alone
Walk in the silence of nature to calm and reset the mind🙏....doc for meds to help
We all have each other on here to give support Take care everyone x
Hi Kama, sorry to hear your not well, your not on your own, I'm 76, & suffered with G A D since I was 16 now at this age I feel worse, yes it's terrible on your own, i'v only got one friend left, & son & daughter, but thau dñt understand, I've recently moved into a bungalow, dñt know anyone, been hear 10mnths now gd job the neighbours are really friendly, getting to know my way about now but like you have to have a gd day, hope you get on OK with your injection, y'll be okx
Hi, I too am 76 and boy it scares me at times. I won't even read obituaries. My panic attacks and anxiety started at 12 and just got worse. I have one friend from highschool left but she lives 3 hrs from me for the past 25 yrs. We have a daughter and2 granddaughters, They too live a 3+ hr drive away. The girls are in university now. No one understands unless they have walked in our shoes. I'm glad your neighbours are friendly. I am really scared about the spinal injections on Tues. but the pain of the pinched nerve won't let me walk or stand long. Thank you for replying I appreciate it.
Mrn Kama, y'll be ok with the injections, think positive, hopefully they will help with the pain & y'll feel better with your anxiety when it's done, y'v achieved something, i'v had 140 different injections so fare in my head & neck for cronic migraines, I was dredding those, but thay weren't to bad, as I said y'll be 👌 ok x
Hi kama24 what you experience is a normal human response to life. Have you ever
read the book "The Dash"? It explains that we all have a beginning and end but it's
what we did throughout those years that really counts. Living in Fear robs us of the
joys of living. We are merely existing. Age is but a number that we have no control
over. Each day, young children and people in their prime have pass unexpectedly.
We must make the most of each day while we are here.
As Elizabeth Barrett Browning once said
"Grow old along with me, the best is yet to be
The last of Life for which the first was made" 
xx
Thank you Agora for replying. I have heard of the book but not read it. I will look for it. You are right, fear sure robs the joy of living, I try so hard to put morbid thoughts out of my head but the brain is strong.
Yes kama24, the brain is strong and yet so powerful. After all, it has been trained
over and over for years to believe that the fear is real. However, it can be retrained
to become our ally and not our enemy. Unless we believe in that and accept that it
can be changed, nothing happens. We can't just wish it away. It's a work in progress.
A brain washing per se for the good. It takes focusing and hearing positive affirmations
while you sleep. At that time, the subconscious mind is open to suggestions and absorbs
the positive thoughts. It takes about 30 days to start seeing any improvement but then
it doesn't stop there. It must become a change in our mental lifestyle. It must become
our "go to" when negativity seeps into our thoughts. Over and over again until our
brain is reprogrammed. ... xx
Your posts are just so amazing You bring me peace
wow no one ever complimented me like that. Our big snow storm quit about an hr ago. Shoveling to be done but not by me lol I just want it to be cottage weather again so we can enjoy or little lake....that is its name actually...Little Lake. So quiet and scenic. Now to get through this winter.
I always remember the phrase ..The coward dies a thousand deaths, the brave but one...
I guess I’m a Coward! 🤷🏻♀️
I’m a retired Emergency Dept RN so my “what if’s “ are numerous.. and frightening waiting for the other shoe to drop everyday. I attempt everyday to think positively and sometimes it works but one little symptom and off I go:(🤦🏻♀️
I understand. Now my left hand shakes and I think "Parkinson's". I have to have an epidural later today and oh boy the what ifs are over whelming. I just want to make it through and come home ok.
Health anxious person here! I see you've received a lot of replies, but just want reassure taht YOU ARE NOT ALONE, I am 46 and I have one friend with a terminal condition and I am begining to see my friends' parents and siblings pass away and I totally get it, but you will get through this. All the best. You are here, you matter.
Thank you for replying. Yes, I got so many replies it was amazing. Anxiety, fear and panic are not pleasant. They are not always easy to handle. You are still so young. When you get to be my age, so many friends and relatives are ill or pass away. I know what you mean by :health anxious" I am the same. My daughter did tell me a good phrase though " Your anxiety will tell you the worse case scenerio. It's a lie, don't listen".....so lets try to ignore our frightening thoughts. take care.
Kamala I'm not afraid of Death, yet I'm afraid of How in die? I tell myself when I die it will be the end of one Journey and the beginning of a new Journey. My Big Sister Cathy ( RIP) taught me that and that's on her gravestone. I have problems sleeping due to Anxiety and Panic attacks, I'm afraid to sleep because when I wake up I can see and hear everything around me but I am unable to move , sometimes it's as if I'm paralysed and other times because of physical pain when I try to move. I am after all this time having some success at last "baby steps" is how I'm trying to overcome these ailments. One step at a time as I've been advised to do. Good Luck.
Thank you for sharing. Yes, I agree totally as my fear is HOW I die...and I don't want to be alone. Your panic attacks sound dreadful, not being able to move. When I have a panic attack I feel short of breath and that terrifies me. Yes, one step at a time, one day at a time. Hang in there.
Hi! I can empathise with you completely, I've been having similar thoughts and it's starting to affect my mental health. I'll be 72 this summer and I've becoming more aware of age as friends and people much younger have died. Getting older is no fun. I am getting more concerned about travelling and being away from home especially as stress exacerbates my IBS. My husband has been fantastic and sympathises, but he's now 70 and wants to get away more in our motorhome now. Truth is, I'm happier at home and pottering around the garden. Take care, I'm happy to chat😊
Thank you for replying. I am 76 and it seems like every week we lose someone we know or we hear someone had been diagnosed with incurable cancer. I no longer care to travel for fear of something happening to me. Going to our cottage is ok as it is only a 30 min. drive from home. My husband is 77 and so full of life. You get to a horrible point in life when you wonder who is going to go next. take care.
As long as i die peacefully and not in pain, preferably in my sleep! I would be happy, in fact I'm now looking forward to my " New Eternal Journey " which i believe will begin with my earthly passing. My big Sister used to tell me that when I was in a Coma in Birmingham Burns unit! ( Obviously I can't remember that it's just some thing family wouldn't let me forget). I honestly think every person has feared how they die at some time in life. May Your God or who/ whatever you believe in be kind to us all
Thank you for replying. I don't think any of us want to linger and suffer as we leave this world. I over think it and find it difficult to put it out of my mind the older I get. Sadly I was with my dad when he passed and he suffered terribly. I am glad I was beside him but the image remains in my head constantly. I too hope our God is kind to us.
I accepted the fear, GAD, anxious anticipation, and I woke really scared of I dont know what. I was already taking buproprion, so added 25 then 50mg sertraline. Still have anticipatory anxiety, but its not lingering.
I accept the transient feelings, and the depression and grief, but they sort of fade away, I dont weep for hours, and I dont wake up afraid.
I am glad you have some improvement. I take Ativan and Luvox but they do not give 24 hr relief. I am thankful for what they do but I just want to stop thinking scary thoughts and to enjoy life.
Sometimes I wonder if I shouldnt of in the direction of PTSD, given the fear, nightmares, and flashbacks. Instead of bupe use one of the ptsd meds in addition to sertraline. prazosin?
It is so difficult to know what will work and what won't. I took Paxil for years and it helped. It then stopped so I went off it. The withdrawal was horrible. Sometimes I wonder if there is any 100% "cure"
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