Help Me

Hi, im a 32 year old man and im driving myself and wife crazy, every day for the last 3 years Ive been stressing about cancer, dying etc.

If i have a sore knee its cancer, stomach ache caner

I feel faint all the time, giddy, stomach is always playing up.

to scared to go to the doctors.

I know when this all started, when my nan died in 2003 of cancer after many years of worrying.

i hate it i really do!! its taking over my life and i wanna be a happy dad to my 2 kids and good husband



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8 Replies

  • Hello mckean32,

    Sounds like you are really struggling with things. I am no medical professional, but it seems there are some underlying issues related to the loss of your nan (I lost my nan to cancer too, so I can empathize with you) which perhaps you may have not fully dealt with i.e. emotionally, etc. For this I would strongly recommend speaking to a counselor and maybe looking into cognitive behavioral therapy. Any traumatic event in your life can trigger a series, or pattern about thinking about problems and issues and speaking to someone impartially and recognizing and treating the source of these fears that you are currently having is really important. I would also recommend visiting your local GP for some advice and piece of mind. Perhaps if you asked for some blood tests it would put your mind to rest. He/she might also suggest some medications which could in combination with the counselling, help you to manage this anxiety. I am sure that you family love and appreciate you, which is why you need to try and visit/ speak to someone if you can. If you are fearful of meeting a doctor face to face, why not speak to someone on NHS direct first as a 'trial' before visiting a doctor in person. The point is, with support you can be a good dad and a good husband and don't lose sight of that goal. I wish you all the best!

  • All your answers are great and in a wierd way have help me alot

    thank you thank you thank you

  • Hi Mckean

    Really really sorry you're going through this, it sounds horrible, I know it's hard, but you really must go to the doctor! It is almost certainly stress, compounded by your nan dying - and, if you look at this way, you've been worrying about getting cancer for 3 years, but you're still here, aren't you? So all the times over the last 3 years you put yourself through hell worrying about cancer, you didn't have it? And you almost certainly don't have it now!

    Please, please, please, go to the doctor. You say you want to be a happy dad to your kids and a good husband - going to the doctor would be the first step to achieving that. I'm not saying it's easy but - isn't it better than another 3 years of thinking every pain, every ache, every spot, is cancer? Ask your wife to go with you, if that would help. I do know that, generally, men find it far more difficult to go to doctors/ask for help than women do, but seeing your GP is the ONE most important thing you can do for your family at the moment. It's the strong thing to do, mate!

    Do let us know how you get on.

    Very best of luck


    PS i was convinced i had cancer of the throat once - it turned out to be very bad catarrh! ;)

  • All your answers are great and in a wierd way have help me alot

    thank you thank you thank you

  • Hi. mckean32uk. This is a recognised phobia and can be treated. As the other blogs say, you must go to your GP and put your mind at rest. Then tell them about how you feel in regard to cancer. There are a lot of Counsellors these days who deal with phobias and you could find one local to you. Do not be afraid of this. It is no worse than being afraid of spiders or darkness. They are all common phobias as is yours. Good luck and do not hesitate to come back here. As you see by the above blogs, kind, sensitive help is always available. jonathan.

  • All your answers are great and in a wierd way have help me alot

    thank you thank you thank you

  • Hi Mckean - hope the suggestions here helped, do let us know how you get on!

    All the very best!


  • Hi

    You need to get to the root deep inside you that is causing this irrational fear - only you can do this and it's the only way to cure it. There is a reason deep in you for why you feel this way; why you are so fearful. I think it must be something much earlier than your nan dying and that her death was the trigger that caused it all to manifest from the place it was all pushed into to bury it.

    Go right to the start as far back as you can remember and dig in your self to find those times that could have led to this fear coming out after your nan died. When you address them the fear will go away. It is hard to do, but it needs to be done.

    Good luck.

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