morbid thoughts

Ive suffered from anxiety for the last 12 years or is it depression ? Apart from a course of tablets seven years ago i tried to manage it myself. I know that in the next few months at least my stress levels are going to be even higher than normal due to my daughter being diagnosed with alopecia and obviously needing emotional support. I tend to suffer from extreme morbid thoughts about people i care about, shaking, disturbed sleep patterns and sometimes waking up during the night with a choking sensation. My mind is on constant high alert. Are these symptoms of anxiety or depression , or do these go hand in hand ? Any thoughts on this would be a great help as i sometimes think im going mad ! Sorry looked like it should have gone on the question section !


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12 Replies

  • hi

    they are pretty much linked. i have anxiety with my mind just constantly chattering. everyone has this but in some of us the chattering leads to unreasonable thoughts in turn leading to panic attacks etc

    the morbid and intrusive thoughtsts can come as well I've had a few of these and they are not nice either and can also lead to more anxiety. but they never last long and are gone as soon as they come. have you tried mindfulness. it reassures you that all this is interndialoguge is 'normal' and we can try and manage it with relaxation.

  • Hi wemedussa. You emphatically are not going mad! Madness and nervous illness are poles apart. So do not worry on that score. Anxiety is sometimes followed by depression. The two do go together. I prefer the word 'depletion' because that is what it really is. You have flogged your batteries with anxious thoughts to such an extent that you are drained of energy. The choking sensation is typical of nervous illness and I guess most people on this site have had it. I have. Morbid thoughts are from a tired mind that hangs on to any thought however nasty, and can't let go. But thoughts in themselves are harmless. When you were well thoughts did not bother you, did they? Why now do they do so? Because you are on a "high state of alert", as you say. You are waiting for them to come and, of course in your present state, they will. You feed them with the energy they need to keep going. Let the thoughts come, go with them, see them for what they are, just thoughts, which can do no harm. ACCEPTANCE is always the answer. Once again you are ANTICIPATING that your stress levels will get higher because of your daughters condition. You have already laid the foundation for more anxiety. Please do not misunderstand what I say. I DO know how you feel, as do most of us here but try not to add fuel to the fire. Bless you and I hope your daughter gets help. jonathan.

  • If I have a situation which worries me but turns out okay my mind takes me on a journey thinking what would've happened if it hadn't been okay.

    A good instance is my dog escaped from our back garden into the field at the back.

    I found him with no problem as he was just sniffing about but my mind then started to think what would I have done if I hadn't found him. Would I call the police - would I stay up all night searching the neighbourhood................on and on.

    Ridiculous as he wasn't more than a few yards from our garden and in no danger as the field is fenced in, yet off I went worrying what might have happened but didn't.

  • Hi Bramwell

    I had a similar situation yesterday bu this time 2 new kittens. Left the back door open and forgot about them then realised they weren't around started to freak, bordering on panic (not quite, just 'mild' anxiety, I'd say 6 or 7 on scale 0-10), the 'what ifs' flooding in - what am I goinf to tell my wife / daughter / how will this affect my relationship with them? etc.... Hunted outside the house for a while then came back to find one stick its head out from under the sofa. As has been said on this site so often and as I've come to realise, this ANTICIPATION of many of us. Surely the road to peace involves living for the now, forget the 'should(n't) have's and the 'what ifs...'

  • Hi ALL. Living in the moment is difficult for us who suffer. It is called 'Mindfulness' and it means that instead of doing one thing and thinking about another we give ALL our attention to the present task. Look at the way you are thinking at the moment. You may be reading this but a part of you will be wondering what you will have for dinner or what would you do if so and so happened. ANTICIPATION is one of the major curses of this illness because, with our fertile minds ( boy, how fertile!) we conjure up all sorts of negative scenarios so that we go around on 'automatic drive' most of the time. We have to TRAIN ourselves to think in the moment. Remember what the old man said? "I have had many terrible things in my life, very few of which ever happened". Best wishes. jonathan.

  • thank you everybody for your comments, your right i always think of the worst possible outcome. My daughters patchy hair loss is going to turn in to her being completely bald with her possibly taking her own life over it, my husbands cough is lung cancer etc etc etc. I hate being like this i must be a miserable person to be around sometimes. Its such a relief to know and except that it is an illness and now i have found this sight i dont feel quite so alone and dare i say it " mad ". Is there things that i can do to control the anxiety in general any tips would be helpful

  • Hi wmedussa. No, you do not try and 'control' this anxiety. 'Control' is very close to fighting and that is a useless pursuit. ACCEPTANCE, ACCEPTANCE, ACCEPTANCE. Just go with it. Loosen your body and your mind. Just sit and slump in a chair and let is all come while totally ACCEPTING. No, I have not gone 'potty', it is just that over the years this has saved me a lot of anguish and fear. FEAR is not something to FIGHT. Fighting makes it worse. It feeds "IT" with energy and drains you. Thoughts can do you no harm if you treat them the right way; by going THROUGH them .Not easy by any means and it takes perseverance but it can be done. You are not alone. We are all with you on this journey so keep blogging. jonathan.

  • Hi there

    Please try 5-HTP, because when I was in the same mindset as you it helped me like a miracle 'cure' to balance my mind. You really NEED some form of medicinal help; even if that's herbal, because you'll be surprised how it'll help your thoughts and morbid ideas to settle down.

    It's really not all about doing your best to keep it together. Sometimes our brain chemicals get unbalanced and after a long time of living that way it stays that way no matter how much we try to change our thinking we need the help of meds to rebalance what's biologically happening in the brain, so that we can then think rationally to get to the real roots of our issues and solve them.

    Good luck with this.

  • thanks guys, its good to know there is people that understand i can talk to. I dont think nobody really understand unless they are going through it. I tried to explain to my daughter why its important to call or text me if she decides to stay out overnight because i suffer from anxiety and i worry more than most people, when she asked what it was i said its a mental health issue. Her answer was " why would you even admit that ". Wouldnt mind her ignorance as much but shes 24, and she was not brought up to think that way. Anyway subject was closed then, just didnt have the energy i guess at the time but it will be brought up again as it made me sooo cross !

  • You should all try a thing called "Binaural Beats", these computer generated sound files are said to massage your brain and produce all sorts of effects, and are excellent for stress/ depression/ anxiety disorders. A binaural beat is created by playing a different tone in each ear through headphones, and the interference pattern between the slightly differing frequencies creates the illusion of a beat. It's completely safe and scientifically proven - google it!!

    If you search the Internet for "binaural beats" you'll quickly find there's a whole industry built on the idea that listening to binaural beats can produce all kinds of desired effects in your brain. It can alter your mood, help you follow a diet or stop smoking, get you pumped up for a competition, calm you down, put you to sleep, enhance your memory, act as an aphrodisiac, cure headaches, and even balance your chakras;-)

  • thank you. i shall go and have a look now x

  • as long as you use headphones, give them at least 15 minutes to show effect and pick one specifically for relaxation it should

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