Intrusive thoughts.

[plushiesaremyjam]

I have really bad intrusive thoughts that are scaring me more and more. Like, i was sitting in the car today and i suddenly thought to myself “huh...what if I was to open this car door and i fell out of the car.” It wasnt that i was wanting to do it, my brain was just thinking about it. It scared me so much that I immediately went into panic mode. Why was i thinking about these things? Are these suicidal thoughts? Is this how my life will be from now on? Am i depressed??? I used to have this fear (and i know its really weird) that i was gonna fall down the hole of depression/suicide. I had 1 friend who committed suicide December of 2017, and another friend who committed suicide in April of 2018. It scared me when my first friend died but when my second friend died it kinda sent me down a loop of “holy crap what of I become depressed and want to die???” I started to have a lot more intrusive thoughts. I even tried self diagnosing myself with OCD.

I have a lot of negativity in my life because of my friends. A lot of them are very negative and i know that with my anxiety i do not need to be around negativity a lot. I soak it all up like a sponge and make the negative energy my own. Ive had to do it lately with the current relationship im in. He is very negative and im trying to bring in more positivity into his life. He has had BPD and i have bad GAD. Those 2 disorders dont really mix well. I mean really dont mix well to the point they are like oil and water. I do not want to die, life is very much worth living. But why do i keep getting these thoughts even though im trying hard not to. Can anyone help give me a peace of mind about this?

[Johnnie1234]

wowwwww we going through the same thing bro how long you had it for if you read my post you would see to i dont know why i keep having thoughts. how long you been like this?

[plushiesaremyjam in reply to Johnnie1234]

Hmm. Only a few days.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to plushiesaremyjam]

had mines for like two weeks or three i dont know why this driving me nuts aswell i feel like im going crazy.

[plushiesaremyjam in reply to Johnnie1234]

I think it is just our anxiety doin what anxiety does best. Makin us miserable. You know

[Johnnie1234 in reply to plushiesaremyjam]

yeah i feel like tearing right now i feel awful i have everday none stop its trying to make me go nuts.

[plushiesaremyjam in reply to Johnnie1234]

I know i feel it too.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to plushiesaremyjam]

yeah is it treatble ? would it go away?

[plushiesaremyjam in reply to Johnnie1234]

Its treatable as in like...you have to learn that ur intrusive thoughts are just thoughts. Like some therapy practices will actually have you get the intrusive thoughts and then they will tell you how to deal with them.

[Johnnie1234 in reply to plushiesaremyjam]

mines is different its scary if you read my post you will seee its like picturing jumping off some where or when i look like at building knowing i wont do it i dont know where those thoughts came from though i never thought like that but it becoming to really come to my head everyday all the time and i aint get headaches i loose appitite to even eat i feel down also i want to be back to normal i wish i could get back to normal no anxiety no nun of those thoughts never been through it feels like im going crazy ugh.

[plushiesaremyjam in reply to Johnnie1234]

You arent going crazy i promise. I get like that too. Its our anxiety and how it acts. Anxiety takes our worst fears and tries to make it a reality. The best thing you can do is just calmly remind yourself, it is only a thought and i know i will not do it

[Johnnie1234 in reply to plushiesaremyjam]

yeah my head is stress out its really high i wish it was treatable

[plushiesaremyjam]

Kinda like...im scared ill do something dumb with a knife. But i know its just a thought and i wont do anything dumb with the knife

[Worrier35]

I too have intrusive thoughts. I am still learning acceptance. Acceptance of the symptoms, including the intrusive thoughts. It's very scary and sometimes destroys my day. It's not easy to just sit with our thoughts and feelings, but I find that if i do this instead of pushing them away they are less frequent and cause less anxiety. My intrusive thoughts change. But they are always about harm. So what I do is just let the thought come and repeat itself as much as it wants. The more you push them away the more they will come. It's not easy but it can be accomplished.

[flaxxy703]

when an intruding thought enters into the brain we don't have to entertain it

[Sfqueen]

I have intrusive thoughts as well.

[Gambit62]

This post may help you understand what is going on and find a way of coping with it

healthunlocked.com/couchtob...

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I used to have those thoughts, it was like I wanted to feel what it would be like to fall out of the car or fall from a great height etc. I also have had lots if friends commit suicide. I think the only way I dealt with it was by knowing that they are only thoughts and that I would never ever act them out.

I'm not sure that they are suicidal thoughts, I think they are just thoughts that I had to try to make me understand that I'm alive and I don't need to jump out of the moving car to sort any of my problems out.

They are only thoughts and you are aware if that, you won't ever follow them through because they are scaring you, that fear is telling you that you are alive and that suicide is not the right path for a person to take, those thoughts are telling you that you can close the car door and move on. You can move forward and live.

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You will get better!!!