Intrusive thoughts...

[PleaseLetMeSleep]

I really need some help.

I've struggled with anxiety/panic/depression since I was 12 (I'm 21 now). I've only recently read about intrusive thoughts and I think that's a big issue for me. I get disgusting thoughts. They make me physically sick sometimes and it keeps me up at night. It's anything from seeing my parents die to disgusting thoughts of children. When they come into my mind, it's like I'm screaming at them to muffle it but it's like there's some kind of demon in my mind forcing me to see it? I can't explain it.. I'm not sure if it has anything to do with being sexually abused as a young child. I never told anyone about it. I couldn't. But I read a few years ago that those who were sexually abused as a child are more likely to go on to be paedophiles. Since then those images have added to the list of disgusting things I see.

My mind is like a film reel of images and thoughts and it's just racing constantly and I don't know how to just shut it off so I can be myself. I can just about deal with the anxiety and depression because it's just become the daily routine now. But these thoughts are just so hard to try and block out. They put me off my food. I can't be intimate with my girlfriend because I have thoughts of when I was abused and it all feels too weird. I don't know what to do.

[stde]

You need to talk to a professional or someone you can trust about your child abuse, you need some kind of closure to get this out of your head, it was not your fault...

As long as you keep burying it, you will find it keeps coming back to bite you in the ass...

[FXP_OK in reply to stde]

I agree...you need to deal with the underlying problem and talk to someone. I think a professional is best. Even the closest friend or family member will bring their own agenda to the table.

[Angep Star]

I agree with the two other replies you've had, please go and ask your doctor for some help. Your mind is tortured through no fault of your own!!! You can't keep living your life trapped in this nightmare. You need to take control of this situation right now you really do. Call your doctor tomorrow if you haven't already 🙏🏻

[Lynl]

Please don't think that your a pediphile, those thoughts are not real, they are making you obsess think somethings wrong. You are the Victim and you should get counseling so you VBS. Be rid of all this and just ask God to get you through this , you need not suffer , fight the thoughts with a good thought Snd try and not worry about it . You have lived a hell , now let your future be positive. God Bless You. lynl

[Lynl in reply to Lynl]

Sorry the letters VBS was a spellcheck ignore that

[McLaughlin]

PleaseLetMeSleep I also have reminating thoughts. It effects every aspect of my life. The sexual abuse from your childhood will ruin your life. Please seek therapy. Go Psychologist shopping until you find one whom you feel comfortable with. I've found, in my experience, anxiety increases until you can get to the root cause. I still have anxiety and occasional panic attacks. My Psychologist has helped me more than I could ever express. You do not have to face this alone! My thoughts are with you!

[TriggerPoint]

Intrusive Thoughts ?* EVERYBODY Has Had Them At Some Time Or Another Even If They Don't Have An Anxiety Disorder. If They Say They Haven't They Lie. Everybody Gets Attacks Of "Intrusive Thoughts". Those Thoughts YOU Can't Believe Crossed Your Mind. The Ones You Would Never Tell Anyone You Had. EVERYTHING You Have Ever Experienced, Heard, & Seen Is "RECORDED" From The Very Day You Are Born. Your Mind Will "Recall". But YOUR Mind Will Put YOU In A Situational Thought. Why ? It's YOUR Mind. We Live In A World That's Good. But There Is The Flip Side Of That Coin Which Is Evil. Heck, You Watch Your Local News & You Are Filled With Horrific News Reports Of Murders, Abuses, Acts Of Insanity, & Much More. [ not counting scary movies, & stories that require your imagination to decipher situational conditions whether they be good or bad. ] Let's Say You're Out In A Public Place. You Didn't Sleep Well or/ You Are Having Some Anxiety Or Something Physical That Doesn't Feel Right. You Feel Kinda "Out Of Control" Because You Can't Just Make It Go Away. Then ? Here Comes An "Intrusive Thought". Fear Sets In Immediately. You're Like, "Where Did That Come From" ?* "How Could I Think Such A Thing" ?* Well ? "ALL THE ABOVE". If You Were Born In A Bubble World & Nobody Ever Told You, You Can Choke To Death On A Apple Seed ? It Would Never Cross Your Mind At All. The Fact That It Bothers You Is A Good Thing ! You Have A Conscious . I Hope This Helps In Some Way My Friend. Prayers For Ya~*