my vivid imagination


Im imagining allsorts today.I keep imagining myself in social situations and having a panic attack and not being able to cope.Also om feeling guilty cos i havent seen my sister or my friends for over 6 months because of my intense symptoms and not feeling i can cope,feeling like im going to lose it and im getting new sensations keep getting warm rushes through my body and splashes of panic and fear my face feels really warm and im not sleeping.I thought it was never going to end in my bed last nite.I did try to practice breathing but i was so tense eventually i did get some sleep but it was broken sleep kept waking up.Also i keep thinking im never going to get well the thought of everything scares me simple things i even imagine bad things happening to me if i went out in a car.I got a text froma friend today saying they would like to see me but it terrifies me.Maybe im thinking to much.Im thinking ahead arent i thats the problem.Im trying to get my life back and i feel ive made some progress but i dont know if im doing enough.Yeah i go out for walks everyday sometimes twice a day and even venture a fair distance from the house and ive started going in shops even though its only down a few aisles.Its the thought of being around friends or family that scare me and its daft cos nothing bad will happen to me but its coping with my intense feelings whilst theyre here and trying to concentrate on conversation,My mind is just racing worrying.Sorry for ranting on needed to express myself.

claire xx


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16 Replies

  • i know exactly where your coming from, I to dont see family or friends because I fear I am going to have a panic attack or get those horrible panic symptoms you know the ones creeping up your neck,palps not concentrating on whats being said because your getting those feeling going through your body. If I see somebody I know I will do everything to avoid them because I dont want those feelings and embrassed if case the now your haveing some sort of panic and you just want to flee.

  • Hello your getting on with life except for this fear of getting into trouble or something bad will happen although it hasn't happened and may never happen I get all that you get panic wise mostly when my mind starts talking to itself ten to the dozen and doesn't know when to shut up telling you all these bad things will happen if you do this although when you do them nothing happens when you go somewhere take a drink with you water for instance you get a feeling take a sip give your mind something else to think about and I've been out I've never seen anybody having a panic attack and I'm 58 we mostly have them in private worrying about having them in public whats the worst that can happen you walk quickly out of the shop i have a few times have you seen your dr about some councilling dont b afraid of them because they give you chance to get some stuff off your chest and show you some relaxation techniques and dont worry about the rant we all need one of them occasionally you take care all the best from a fellow sufferer Mel

  • Hello thanks for ur help i know im not the only person which has these fears.Ive been told il have to wait between 4 and 6 weeks to be seen now ive waited long enough its through the NHf.Il be having home therapy to start off with cos of travelling to get there.Ive been told it will be for 6 sessions then reviewed,Itl be CBT and anxiety management and my psychologist said it will get worse before it gets better so god knows what theyl get me to do.I dont care as long as i get better.

    claire xxx

  • Hi Claire,

    My heart goes out to you, as I have been there, can I make a suggestion you say you are imagining having panic attacks. Can you try a little visualisation to imaging yourself being confident and calm and meeting your friends, seeing how happy they look to see you.

    I gave myself a challenge when I didn't want to meet anybody. I will plan my venue, preferably not in my house, and meet them for an allocated time. I will sit near an entrance, if inside, where I could escape to, but I would preferably meet them outside, in a park.

    I practise yoga and love the visualisation cd's I have, have you thought of buying any?

    I wish you well, I know none of the above is easy by far.

  • Hello Claire

    You re improving and making progresses.this is veeeeeery good!and I can relate to you cause I m on the same stage:I can do more things than few months ago but I still got few issues which I m struggling with,I m actually a bit stuck with it.i suppose we ll have to be patient and carry on till slowly one day we will be able or find strategies to deal with them.I hope it will be soon.;-)

  • Hello Train

    Im hoping once my confidence builds up slowly il be able to face being in social situations.Like you say i guess we'l have to be patient all good things come to knows who wait.Just have to set ourselves little challenges one thing at a time.We'l get there x

  • Hello Ecinue

    I hadnt thought of doing that a good idea i guess im scared to take the next step.Im slowly getting used to walking about same days are better than others tho and im slowly getting used to going into local shops.Im slowly overcoming my fear of wilkinsons and today i brought some toothpaste and had to queue just 2 people in front,thought my heart was going to explode done my best with the situation least i didnt run.What visualisation cds do u recommend?Il do anything to help myself it would be much appreciated.

    claire xx

  • Frank McC

    Hello Claire.

    I can fully understand about your troubles, cos i too suffer at the moment from some form of social anxiety. I'm attending a job related course, and part of that course is putting on a performance, a kind of musical and i just can't get into it, im constantly making a fool of myself and becoming more and more self- conscience. The past 3 weeks have been hell! Next week myself and the group, both men and women, have to perform in front of a lot of people and i'm dreading it, On friday i'm going to the docs to up the dossage on my Citalopram and i'm hoping it'll kick in by then. You say you have a vivid imagination and i guess people like yourself, me included, and people in general who suffer from any form of anxiety share the same "curse". Iv'e written this to let you know that you are not on your own and i hope that what Iv'e written will be of some help in some way.

    Frank xx

  • Claire, i've been using a couple off of here...

    The one that has been helping me is the one called MASTER ALARMING ADRENALINE (physical sensations of anxiety) Male voice with music 27 mins.

    Its very relaxing and has a bit where you can visualise situations.

  • Hu Daisy,

    Thanks ive just been on the website and downloaded the cd thankyou i really appreciate it anything to help myself.I hope ur ok.

    Best Wishes

    Claire xx

  • Hi Claire , I can identify with you so much and you are doing the best you can to try and get yourself better. These horrible feelings and sensations are so intense. With the support from this forum I have realised how many people are suffering. Most of all I have realised I have nothing to be ashamed of. We can't help our make up can we?. We just battle on day after day till we are drained all the time. I think you are doing really well, managing to go to shops and even into a big one!. The more we do this the better it will get. If you are not ready to go out to meet friends, just see them one at a time somewhere you can quietly sit and listen. You don't have to do all the talking. If you explain how you feel you will feel better with them and safe. Best of Luck Claire xxxxxx

  • Hello Ellabella

    It is amazing how many other people do suffer and the support on this website is really good and helpful least we not alone on this journey.We are sensitive souls thats why we are so sensitised and our tired minds are cying out but we worry more then the cycle goes round and round its a nitemare isnt it?Just hope in time and with practice we can all overcome this.Thankyou for ur support.I hope u are ok.

    Best Wishes

    Claire xx

  • Hi Claire, I have just had a thought....that's flipping hard to imagine lol!. I remember dreading seeing my own sister and friend not too long ago and out of sheer desperation I wrote identical e-mails to them both and opened my heart about how I felt and why I was dreading seeing them. It was a very good move to make....we met and they treat me very well indeed and were close and comforting. No big essay , just exactly what you fear from meeting up and why . Hope this helps love x me x

  • Hi Ellabella thankyou for getting back to me.Im having a hard time again at accepting myself and my symptoms.My anxiety is really high at the mo aswell cos ive got my cycle due always makes me worse and ive started going out so i think ive become more sensitised but ive been told its just temporary.That is such a good idea im going to concentrate on seeing my sister to start off with maybe just for an hour.Im hoping once i start cbt and seeing a counsellor every week this will help my confidence more .Thankyou for ur help.

    love claire xx

  • I don't have the dreaded cycle anymore but strangely enough still get the fullness feeling, I think it's water retention linked with any hormones that are left. I do however remember the dreadful way my cycle used to affect my anxiety!!!. Yes you have a lot going on but you are doing it and very well indeed. Lots of Love and best wishes xxxxxxxxxxxx

  • Hi clare,

    do you have a trusted friend? When you are in these visualisations invite "her" [or him] into the scene and follow them out to your own special place - maybe somewhere from a favourite holiday, a nice walk. I go to my special place in my mind and relax, it gets me calm again, I recently had an mri and asked them to give me a minute to "get in the zone" the nurse said she meets many people doing similar.

    You will find ways to manage it just takes a little time.



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