one of them days

Hi all its been a while x im on for a rant cos im, having a bad day, i have basically spent the entire day in tears with every ache and pain i experience being my doomsday approach, if only death was easy but i want to live and be a good mum and wife, it scares me senseless that my doom is approaching and i have tried in every way shape and form to be positive and not think worst case scenario but its impossible. I started having cbt therapy over the phone a few month back, which stopped after 4 sessions due to next stage then i had 4 weekly visits from someone coming to my home to do the cbt therapy and all i got was lectures for half hour on positive thinking and core beliefs and if u can change them u can change ur world, it was working i felt great, now thats finished and its stage 3 16 weeks of intense cbt which may not start for a few weeks and boom back to to earth and down n out, everyone i know tells me im to paranoid n all my health checks should tell me so but ive never had any check for anything, i dont even have any meds , i was only on beta blockers but im not allowed them anymore, so its me on my own, and im stuck again. I cannot even go to my doctors cos im to scared to leave my home. thanks for puttin up with my rants x


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13 Replies

  • Oh donver

    Rant away

    I can understand your fear

    Health anxiety is dreadful , I suffer myself , even though its better than it used to be , until I have something like the hospital tomorrow , then I start struggling again & like you , some of it is because I have to leave the door

    Could you get a lift or a taxi to go to your GP'S . I still dont like going but its better to go that way than a bus

    You have been doing really well , I dont think it's right when they have been treating you & then there is a break , they should no in my opinion this needs to carry on , as like you say we can soon slip back

    Try as hard as you can to remember what they have taught you so far & put it into practise

    Remember as well all the times you have had pains & nothing has happened , because even though its hard to believe , anxiety gives us them

    You are a good Wife & Mum , anxiety may tell you otherwise , but I bet your family love you to bits ;)




  • thank you why why x i try to put it into practice but its hard with it at times n i think i choose the easy option of giving up xx I did start to go out n about when i had to go to hospital for womens probs n they gave me the nexplanon implant but ever since this ive felt so awful really angry and severely depressed, ive asked them to take it out but they refuse x gonna ask them once more before i tempted to do it myself x unless im blaming this like everything else x

  • Well it doesnt always suite everybody , how can they refuse :o

    That sounds harsh , I would tell them if you dont want it , maybe asking doesnt get us any where

    let us no how you go on


  • What's the nexplanon implant?I never heard of that.

    Sorry to hear you not too good.I suffer with health anxiety also,and am currently having worried now 'cos they said the next one is my last-no. 8!!

    I thought I could see someone for bout 20 meets. :(( xx

  • hi babyhippo x the nexplanon is a contraceptive implant but for me it was thought it could rebalance my hormones i think they have tipped them over the egde :/ i think regarding your cbt it very much depends on the area you live in and if you can actually leave the house, i had 4 on the phone and then these 4 in which ever week she tended to drum it into me about how your levels fall if you stay in your danger zone until you feel safe, in some was it made me feel easier as i know now i cannot faint from anxiety unless its blood related phobia, i guess i just panic cos ive never had checks to make sure this is anything more than anxiety but then i guess my still standing and never suffering any great harm from my worries is proof of that. I have to move to the next level which is 16 hour long sessions as the one i had wasn't helping the whole module homework and her coming to my home wasn't making me go out. this one i have been told will make me go out. so they think!! good luck with yours x what type are you doing ??

  • donver

    I was put on hormone injections at one stage , they sent me round the twist , there are other ways they can deal with this , they always want to do the easy way round , but if you think its making you worse , stand your ground

    Let us no how you go on


  • thank you why why x last week i was singing and dancing like a 2 year old this one im sad as a fish out of water so defo think it needs to come out x will let you all know x

  • I didn't know there were levels in cbt course.

    She just keeps telling me no harm can come to me with anxiety attacs and I belive her. Xx

  • I was put on the coil in March,not sure if that helps wit you hormones does it? Xx

  • they all help will hormones in some ways i would imagine x i suffer in other ways to with heavy monthlys due to a 10.5 oz baby naturALLy so it was more them heaviness was messin my iron levels n hormones etc x

  • i do belive in some ways i will come to no harm x i just need to get my bum out of the house its nearly a year ive been in x i may not be there yet but i am closer than i was yesterday x

  • You will make it donver.step by step-it can be a long,slow process.

    I had a 9lb 10oz baby 2weeks overdue and my monthlies had become horrendously "heavy",so there is 1 good thing that has come out of marina being fitted for me.(doesn't help with the anxiety though) xx

  • hi donver,first I would advise getting that out,Iknow of a woman who got it in and it left her depressed,and all over the place,now I can relate to your other problems,as I have them too ,did a year of cbt and never felt better,slipped back,when stopped,so I'm on the waiting list for more.I have health anxiety too,its very hard to live like this.but please take my advice and get rid of that implant,when my friend got it out her depression lifted Miarose xxx

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