I'm looking for some advice. Dont really know where to start. The last three years have been a rollercoaster of emotions. My marriage ended after ten years suddenly. It was an unhappy marriage, only staying together for the kids, but my emotional state when it ended was of failure for my children, not of the loss of my marriage. Shortly after this I fell head over heels in love with a fantastic man and this made me feel alive again. Alongside this fantastic time, was all of the drama of the marriage ending. My ex husband was abusive, threatning and eventually demanded that I move out of the marital home as he wanted it back. Even though he had been living the high life and not paid one payment to the mortgage in the six months that he had left. Eventually myself and my children moved into my partners house and home life was fantastic, although we still had the constant drama from my ex. In time we bought a new house and moved in together properly as a family, with a new start. Things with my ex seemed to calm down however he was still calling the shots when it came to the children and felt that he could tell me what to do, how to dress them, even though I was with them and looking after them 24/7. Shortly after this my dad was diagnosed with cancer, which resulted in him being told it was terminal. I didnt deal with this and I am ashamed to say that to this day, I still deal with it in denial. After we had moved into our new home, I discovered I was pregnant (planned) and the fairytale seemed complete. I suffered a horrendous pregnancy and was admitted to hospital several times. I had a few dark days to say the least. My daughter was born healthy and it was decided that I wouldnt return to work and would have the ability to look after the kids and the house whilst my partner provided for us. Now my ex husband has decided to take more of a role in the children's life, however this is causing major grief between myself and my partner. I must admit, I do find it easier just to go with what my ex says because the hassle is not worth it, however my parnter is furious at this. He has now said that he doesnt want him at the door picking up the children, and that he should only have a set night per week that he gets to see the kids. My children arent bothered either way and are very stable happy kids. Alongside the fact that my dads health is going downhill I feel myself existing rather than living. I am constantly "nervous", stomach always in knots, unable to sleep at night worrying about things. I am always thinking about things in the future and worry about what will go wrong with them. I've started switching my phone off as when my ex phone's me my parnter goes crazy. This sounds as though he is a nasty person, he is not, he is a fantastic human being, however just increasingly frustrated at the situation. What am I going to do. I feel as though I am constantly down, I am a brilliant mum, which I would never ever let anything change, but I am now more dowan than up. I am seriously thinking about leaving and renting somewhere, just to be on my own with my kids, but I love my partner so much, I dont know what to do? Sorry for rambling on, this is the first time I have ever done anything like this.
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