I must be crazy

[Hatina]

I'm hoping I may get a little comfort or relief by pouring out my, probably, uninteresting anxiety story.

I find it difficult to remember the person I was before the anxiety kicked in. Or maybe it has always been there, just not as irrationally as the last few years. I think maybe I am truly crazy.

But not at work, I'm fine at work, I wish I could stay there all the time.

At home I have severe noise anxiety: I have the misfortune to live in a terraced house and although I get on well with both neighbours now on the surface, when one of them first moved in 7 years ago, there was a little bother. Now if I even hear them talking or laughing through the wall it sends me into a blind panic of anxiety, accompanied with terrible rage, the rest of the time I'm in a constant state of anticipation and anxiety, waiting to hear them.

It used to be the son that bothered me more when he would play out with no respect for others property, but now it's the ghastly teenage daughter, who seems to have friends staying over every night. I can't bear for my son to sleep in his room as it's next to hers and the screaming and shouting stresses me too much.

I also keep harping back to an incident about 5 years ago, when her daughter was younger, the mother came out and told my two eldest off for talking in the garden and 8:30pm as her child was trying to sleep! Now her daughter is running round screaming at 4am [the mother often leaves the 15 year old over night]

However despite the above waffle, I know that they are not the problem and it's me. To be fair, unacceptable noise levels are not happening all that often, and it's rarely super noisy, but now I just can't bear to hear them make a single sound.

I hear the other side a lot too, as they Regularly have arguments and hoover late at night., but rarely do they bother me, and if they do it's in a totally rational, slightly irritated way.

I do also have general anxiety about leaving my children motherless or something happening to one of them.

My husband finds it very hard to understand. I just don't know what to do anymore, no one could possibly understand what this does to me, even though I know how irrational it is.

[hamble99b]

I understand Hatina, I am noise sensitive too.

regards,

sandra.

[Hatina]

Thank you for understanding,and I am noise sensitive to other things as well, people chewing with their mouths open, certain music etc, fills me with that fight or flight feeling

[Tara67]

Hatina, your post could have been written by me, I have just written a very similar one. I totally 100% understand how you feel. I also live in a terrace street and it is very noisy with a pub on the corner. Weekends are always noisy but my worst problem is my neighbour. He one on the left is fine, he goes to work comes home no noise. The other house is rented and has always had noisy neighbours. Music, shouting, barking dogs and now the latest one who spends the entire weekend drunk with his loud friends. He can't even close his front door quietly, anyway I am starting to waffle....

I just wanted you to know you are not alone in how you feel. My husband doesn't really understand he actually thinks if he ask his to stop all noise he will, the previous neighbour actually threatened my husband when he ask him to take his barking down in at 3 am in the morning. So I have the added fear my husband will be do something in anger, thankfully he sleeps with earplugs in so he doesn't hear as much as me.

Please keep in touch, maybe we can help each other x

[ilsonbunny in reply to Tara67]

why oh why do people live in misery caused by others. I am 61yr old female living alone.

I have taken on drug dealers Anti Social neighbours and the like.If your neighbours are in a private rent then you need to contact the landlord about their behaviour. Why should you have your life made hell by these inconsiderate twats.

I have suffered Panic/Anxiety disorder for over 35 yrs along with Health Anxiety so can Empathise with you. Make a diary sheet of incidents about your neighbours and contact the local council for advise. I solved a problem with a noisy neighbour who had music blasting 24 hours a day. I took a lump hammer to his electric meter outside. Not the recommended course of action but solved the problem

Be Strong xx

[Hatina]

Thank you, Tara, it really helps to know it's not just me.

I spend so long trying to rationalise my fear and anxiety, it's just ridiculous.

And don't worry about waffling, my entire post was waffle lol

[Hidden]

does you good to get it off your chest hatina, does you no good bottling it all up, try putting on the headphones and listen to some relaxing music when they kick off. good luck .x

[copdber]

Hatina, I was just the same as you now I take eflxor one at night and I am fine I get a little anxious at times but can let it go. I would talk to your gp life is to short to be worried all the time now I enjoy life.

[Hatina]

Thanks Newton and Copdber.

I know I really should go to the doctors but have been putting it off for years as I'm scared of being put on medication.

I will look in to Efxor.

It does help having written it all down and also to know others experience similar panics

[imavail9]

hatina, so sorry about your neighbors.DO NOT be afraid of anxiety meds. they will calm u down and u will be the hatina of old. go to your gp. tell him or her whats going on in your head etc. even if you took a tiny dose of meds for 14 days at least you will have a little peace of mind. please do not put it off, see your gp. wayne

[karenx]

Hi Hatina,

I understand how you feel about taking medication. I was worried about it, thinking it would make me feel numb or blocked in some way but i can HONESTLY say they did help me with the first stages of dealing with panic and anxiety. They sort of just take the edge of it without making you into a zombie.

I only took them for about a month but that was enough for me to get over the first stages of the anxiety and start to cope with the feelings.

Best wishes x

[Hatina]

Thank you both. I know I really should go, and have been saying it for nearly 7 years, but just can't bring myself to.

I'm not as bad today, just feel very drained and achey from yesterday. And am still a little shaky and having the odd palpitation. Exceptionally jumpy though but nothing like yesterday

[Hidden]

Hi I had very noisy neighbours when I lived in London. They played music all day and night sometimes so loud my flat shook. I used to go round but they ignored me. I was told to ring environmental health and they will look into it. You keep a list of the dates and times of the nuisance for evidence. Its not a perfect solution but thats all there is. I was about to take action when fortunately they moved.

But I found the worst times was when the music wasn't on...the anticipation was awful. Now this has left me noise sensitive and if any neighbour plays any music I get irritable and angry. I did have nuisance neighbours next door again about 3 years ago ago They played loud music and had loud arguements with lots of swearing and doors slamming. The landlord finally managed to get them evicted though it took about 18 months which is ridiculous. They ignored the eviction notice for a few months and finally the police came and got them out.

I would put all these noisy people together and let them shout it out between them. Perhaps then decent people could have the decent life they derserve!

Hope you mangage to get it sorted.

Bev x

[Hatina]

Thank you, Bev.

I think the main problem is that in reality they're not really that noisy, probably less so than my neighbours the other side who do not bother me at all