How do i get rid of an Anxiety Disorder?!?!

Hello,

I've had an Anxiety Disorder for over 6-7 months now, (which to many of you may seem like a short amount of time) - however my mind seems to be almost exhausted from the crazy cycling thoughts that rush through it at almost every hour of every day.

When i had my first panic attack, i thought it was a heart attack, i rushed my self to the walk-in centre as white as a sheet thinking that it was the end, with thoughts such as; "i'm far too young to die" and "maybe its time for me to go".. Now you might be thinking "Pff-t, Drama!", but if you've experienced a panic attack before, then you'll be able to connect with these thoughts. After i was told it was a 'harmless' panic attack, it put my mind at rest, and i started to calm down after that and then a day or two later, back to normal again, however a bit shook up as to why i was having a panic attack when there's nothing really that important - per say - happening in my life.

Well anyway, i started to get a little bit paranoid every now and again thinking that i was going to have another one, having thoughts like; "if i had a panic attack while i was fine, then that means i could pretty much have one at any time! and i don't want to go through that horrible petrifying experience again!". So i was always a little bit on edge from time to time, but not all the time, about having a panic attack.

After about 3-4 weeks, i realised that i always seemed to be slightly on edge, paranoid, fearful of a panic attack coming on. Every little niggle in my body, like a little pain in my chest, or a slight headache was automatically agreed in my head that "uh oh, what if i've got a heart problem? " or " oh no, have i got a brain tumour? what's that i'm feeling in my head? a headache? what if its not a headache and its a brain tumour, i've got cancer, oh my god, its more common than i thought, i've got cancer, i'm going to die". << ALL THESE thoughts were cycling through my head at such a quick pace and all i was doing was sitting on a bus! Before i knew it, my whole body had turned to jelly, i couldn't move a muscle, i started to get hot flushes, i could feel my face going pale, and my heart was running a mile! I started to look around me and everything was slightly insignificant, and i felt a bit dizzy, felt like an out-of-body experience, like it wasn't actuly happening.

From then on, i've been feeling really anxious about everything and anything, especially things like illness's like cancer and death. I decided to go the doctor's and they said "you might have GAD (Generalised Anxiety Disorder)", to which i thought "Me? with an anxiety disorder? god, that's not like me!". Anyway, i havn't been going out as much with my friends anymore, havn't really been doing stuff anymore, being slightly more anti-social and i'm pretty on edge most of the time for no reason!

I've tried most things to try and get rid of anxiety like exerscise, changing my diet, taking multi-vitamins, trying new hobbies, stopped drinking alcohol, and i'm pretty much the same. I'm still experimenting with different things to try so if anybody has any suggestion as to different idea's, please let me know. But for now, exercise seems to be most effective and when exercising, you don't really feel anxious what so ever, but.. it eventually comes back, i'm not looking for a short-term release, i'm looking to get rid of it for good!

I'm finding it harder and harder to cope with my anxiety, because my head is getting really exhausted, and i'm finding it more and more difficult to do simple things because my head just get's me down with crazy anxiety, thus depressing me, which leaves me sitting there, unable to move, with a really grim attitude on life and doing simple chores.

I ended up going back to the doctor's to find out if there was anything physically wrong with me so the doc' sent me for a blood test, which came back all clear. Which - funnily enough - i was dreading, i wanted there to be something wrong with me physically, so maybe there could of been a quick easy cure and then Wallop! back to my self again! but no, it's all in my head. So i've been put up for CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), which i hope hope hope will work wonders, otherwise, it looks like i'm going to have to spend the rest of my life, being weighed down in everything i do with terrible stupid anxiety. All i can do is hope that i'll be back to my normal self one day and Anxiety will never return. Finding it hard to cope now which is why i decided to make this blog, because it makes me feel alot better when i hear about other people in the same boat as me, it's like a massive relief.

Cheers for readin,

GlobalJ

4 Replies

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  • Hi it is nice to hear someone explain exactly how i have been feeling. I have just started the cbt, the telephone one however my councellor wants to see me face to face now! I have a little girl and hate how i feel this is taking over my life! I am constantly worried about anything not so much in the sense of my health but what people think about me, if i done something wrong! In ways i just imagine something that is not there.

    It is hard to think it is something you could suffer from forever and it may not go away! I am hoping to take up running as an excercise as i used to do a lot, however it not always easy to have my little girl watched. I am lucky to have a very supportive boyfriend but he soends a lotnofntime working away, would probably feel bit better if he was home a while.

    I have had 3 days where the aniexty has been really unbearable n spent a lot of time just crying but today seems to be one of my better days and seeing my councellor tomorrow will hopefully help some more. I hope the cbt works well for you, and thank you for sharing your story. Xxx

  • Hi you are describing me to a tee.It sounds like you have health anxiety ,this is what I am suffering from and have done for 6 months now.I have started CBT face to face and will be going to my 3rd session soon and I am hoping it will work.I do take meds when needed and have just started taking pyridoxine as I have been told they are very good for anxiety.You are not alone and your symptoms are exactly the same as mine .Message me if you need to talk big hugs

  • You learn to stop fight back, looking for instant results, and begin moving with your fears as you slowly become disinterested in that fearful path.

  • Omg! You are describing me word for word! I was crossing the street one day after work and after jumping onto the sidewalk I noticed a weird sharp pain around my heart. I thought I was having a heart attack! So all the way home I was in complete panic... I couldn't breathe, I thought I was dying. I almost got off the bus to go to a hospital but there wasn't any close by. I started having headaches and I thought I had a brain tumour! I saw my doctor and described how I felt but she said I should only be worried if I got dizzy, my limbs went numb, etc during a headache Attack. It reassured me for a while but the worry returned. I started massaging my neck and shoulders and the headache went away. I realized it was muscle related. What really helped me get over my negative thoughts was the idea that I'll make it my goal to heal myself. Once I set my mind to it I was able to regain my positive thinking. I also stopped eating wheat which I later found out I was sensitive too. My anxiety has been better since. I still get it but not nearly as bad as the initial 2 panic attacks I had. Whenever I feel myself getting stressed I tell myself "don't engage". Once you engage with the thoughts that arise you lost. It's hard to win an argument with your revolving negative thoughts. Good luck!

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