Anxiety hurting relationship

[Alan7690]

I’ve been suffering from anxiety and depression for the last 4 or 5 years. It started with work pressure and my late mothers dementia, but it got 1000 times worse with Covid to the point I took early retirement. I tried CBT and counselling but neither really helped. It’s now affecting my relationship with my partner and she’s tried to understand but we’re at a point after 23 years it breaking us apart more and more. GP is no help and I’m at the point of not knowing what to do anymore. Covid still worries me as I’m immune suppressed due to taking steroids for PMR so at a high risk than most.

Thanks for reading this and any support.

[OutdoorViews]

My partner suffers from anxiety, and I from autism. We're also breaking apart at the moment, I literally joined this forum specifically because of this in hopes that I can somehow stop screwing up our relationship. I am so very sorry that you're suffering from anxiety, and while anxiety is one of my symptoms it's often more brief for me and isn't nearly the same as what I observe in my partner.

Within the last several months my partner began exhibiting secretive behaviors which I interpreted and responded to in quite an autistic manner. In the past, such things weren't problematic for my partner, but as their anxiety has progressed due to a number of unfortunate events and circumstances I've noticed that my partner's ability to deal with me unmasked was wavering. This caused a snowball effect which has been progressively worsening, with my partner unable to control their behaviors which trigger me.

As I'm autistic, and not dumb, as soon as I realized the severity of the issue I've engaged my hyper-focus to do everything that I possibly can to reassure my partner that I'll still be here; enroll in counselling for myself, find a counselor for the two of us to talk to together, and pit stop in here on an anxiety forum to better understand just how obtuse I may have been.

While I don't and can't possibly know the circumstances you find yourself in beyond the simple details in the post above I would like to offer encouragement to you in continuing to seek care and connect. My greatest fear as an autist is abandonment by my partner, and unfortunately for me their anxiety manifests in actions of withdrawal and secrecy. Good on you for continuing to reach.