relationship anxiety

i love my boyfriend alot and he makes me so happy,we are practically bestfriends aswell..but because everything was going so well i started to think negative.I've got it in my head now that something has changed and that something isn't the same. I keep getting alot of negative thoughts that dont seem to go away i also keep thinking 'what if im not in love' etc it all started when my sister broke up with her long term boyfriend and there was alot of negativity in the house,alot of upset and there still is which has gone on for a couple of months,this has made me feel really down,i also took time off college because of stress and was isolated from people for a while,this was when my mind started to think about alot of bad stuff when i was staying in the house ever day,ever since its always been stuck in my head:( i want it to go away so i can be as happy as i was before it all came into my head! I am forever seeing people on social media breaking up and thinking 'thats gonna happen' etc followed with other what ifs, it did all start when i experienced my sister going through a relationship break up and i was getting very stressed with college work. Ive spoken to my mum and she said it will be anxiety and just me thinking too deep into things. as she sees how happy i am around him! sometimes it can affect how i act towards him though,which i hate:(Everything was so perfect before this stupid thought got planted in my head:( any suggestions,please?

14 Replies

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  • Hey there. I have the same problem too! I think it's definitely anxiety. Best thing to do is to remind your self that it is anxiety and not you two! That's what I do :) all will get better. Try stay positive and be around positive people etc. I'm currently reading "the happiness trap" by dr russ Harris. It's a good book to put your mind into perspective! But I've had anxiety before I met my partner though.

  • Its horrible isnt it,because I know how happy he makes me and how well he treats me etc,because its all so perfect! He never does anything wrong:) Ive had anxiety when i was at school,never over a boy though,he is my first proper relationship. its nice to know someone else has been through it,i thought i was the only one:( which makes it worse. thanks for the reply

  • Yep it isn't easy. My partner wants me to move down to where he's from which is 3.5 hours from my home n family. I'm really anxious over it cuz i don't want to leave :(

  • ah:( i can imagine that being hard,anxiety comes in so many different forms,its horrible!:(

  • Yep :( I'm really worried I won't like it

  • I am having same problem with my GF... :(

  • :( its horrible,just hope it will just go away,speaking to people about it makes things so much better especially if they have gone through it too!

  • Yes, you are right... Hope things get fine soon. Well, I would advice you to read some blogs in anxietynomore.co.uk , it helped me to change my perceptions. Anxiety will not go away it is a part of us, we just need to accept it without reacting over it.

  • thankyou! will have a look at some blogs:)

  • You welcome :) and also share if you have anything to come over.

  • i have the same problem with my bf. i constantly anxious and scared out of nowhere... My mind keeps creating scenario that unlikely to happen and put me in bad mood. while like u said the BF is just okay nothing to worry about.. its just me... ermmm

  • I have the same issue! it randomly started one day i woke up and I have anxiety it was after I got slightly annoyed over something and was just in a cranky mood around him and I guess that worried me and I was like oh gosh I am becoming close to him and things are going so well oh no and my anxiety just came up the next day. But my anxiety hurts my stomach i get bad knots to the point im like bleh I feel sick at times and my mind rushes and i think do I love him how do I know I love him ? am I sure I love him or am i just saying that because I am supposed to? what facts show I love him? and it will go on and on and on till i drive myself nuts and have a small anxiety freak out where I think the only way out is to end it which I never want to do. Sometimes looking at pictures of him and how happy we are makes me feel better too. you aren't alone...surprisingly many people have this issue and it just is a part of your life you have to get through. Don't let it control you remember anxiety is just a thought and a feeling that isn't real. Go by your actions. I know I love to kiss my boyfriend I love holding him and he always makes me smile and laugh. Those things show me that it is just my anxiety affecting me. Yes it will take time yes it can be hard but even writing in this forum can help to realize you aren't alone and you CAN do it! just breath at times. Think of it like seconds...don't think ahead. Think "I am sitting here, I am breathing, I smell apples, I am bending over to pick up a book" so you can divert your mind from anxiety and realize it REALLY is all in your head and something your body does to try and protect itself in a sense rather than realizing. I have this ONE life to live...I am not going to live it with anxiety taking control.

  • Thank you so much for your advise.. It really helped.. And all what u said is true... Im trying my best now to be myself again but sometimes the anxiety gets me but somehow i manage to balance myself.. Thanks again..

  • of course! I hope things are getting better between you guys. It is a process also get vitamin D this time of year. Due to shorter days and lack of sunlight your body is more tired and gets depressed easier. In antartica due to 6 months of darkness there is a HIGH HIGH percentage of depression AND anxiety there. So maybe during these times of months you are lacking in that and your anxiety is more prone to come out and to attack your system in a sense. Really working on yourself and distracting yourself helps. I have been doing really well with my boyfriend recently...it comes up at times trust me I get freaked but he helps distract me and I talk to him a lot about it too and just ask for advice or to just let me talk about it and it really helps to get it off my chest in an adult manor. Biggest thing is Do NOT rely on him or you will go downhill. I did that once and it was straight downhill. I wasn't strong I lost myself I cried all the time I was miserable and he was a terrible support too but I relied on him to constantly reassure me itll be ok it sucked and thank god it was ended too. But now I am getting back to normal. I still have times I worry or I am questioning things like am I annoyed with him? Or my body is TRYING to make me annoyed even though I am not like I look for things to annoy me is a better definition of what I try to do which sucks but day by day it gets better. It is hard trust me I know it is..when I focus so hard on it it comes up and my stomach gets in knots and I worry a lot I HATE it but talking it out is the best thing you can do.

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