Anxiety in relationship

Hi. Ive just joined because im ruining my relationship with my anxiety. I left an abusive relationship 3 years ago and met my current partner a year ago. Im constantly anxious. Scared of gettin hurt. My mind goes in to overdrive and i cant seem to stop it. I get overwhelmed and end up crying through fear and feeling i cant cope... has anyone experienced this? As its ruining my life?

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13 Replies

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  • kwa1982, your having been in an abusive relationship is a hard thing to leave behind. Sometimes therapy is needed so that you can move forward and trust again. You need to learn to trust in yourself once more. Your last relationship is totally apart from this one. The thing is the memories of abuse are still fresh in your mind. You are afraid the same thing will repeat itself once more. Going for counseling could help you in getting those bad memories out from under the rug, Sweep them away for good. The first relationship was something out of your control, however this time around can be ruined by the crying and fear you exhibit. Don't let it happen. Don't let one bad experience ruin something good. There are no guarantees in life and so when we are given a second chance, we need to embrace that fact and believe it will be different this time. I wish you well.

  • Thankyou for your reply. I appreciate your words. My anxiety takes over and my thoughts go in to overdrive and although i know my actions are ruining my own happiness i struggle to control it.

  • I no wereyour coming from it's really hard to control xxx

  • It really is. I keep gettin told to keep myself busy but that doesn't work as its still there...My anxiety is only to do with my relationship. I dont really suffer from it in any other way xx

  • A think because you were in an abusive relationship your youst to it, is your new partner good..?Do use argue over the slightest things. ?xx

  • We only argue over my anxiety. Hes a great guy but he just doesnt understand it and cant relate to how i feel. I worry about being lied to because of my ex. I fear everything. Im scared of being hurt. I almost look for problems because of my anxiety. It sounds stupid but it feels as though if i look for problem i can protect myself. I struggle to trust. Although i have no reason not to trust my bf.

  • Exactly he's a great guy a was like you. My anxiety was through the roof I always accused him of things etc he had enough in the end I was going insane. He done everything for me all though I never asked him. A drive him to the point we're a was giving him anxiety and it was awful, just try and relax he understands how you are and what you have been through, so that's going to be hard for him xx

  • Thankyou. Your words have helped. I need to focus on positive and remind myself that its not fair putting him thro this as its not his fault. I guess tho then my lack of confidence makes me feel he would be better with someone else cause of my anxiety. But thats last thing i want is to loose him xx

  • No don't think like that ever if that was the case he'd of left. Just be more calm Ano it's hard for you but more so him as he has to see you down etc xx

  • Thankyou. I never looked at it like that. Xx

  • No problem am hear for you Hun a hope yous have a great xmas 😍

  • Awe thankyou 😘hope you do too

  • I will for sure take care Hun message me anytime xx

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