Relationship anxiety :(

Hey everyone

In need of some advice before I drive myself insane, feel so alone right now and just feel I have no one to turn or talk to.

My anxiety is really playing up lately and it is driving me mad. It is ruining everything and I am risking losing my partner whom means everything to me and I am so scared.

Lately he seems to be so distant from me and I do not know what is wrong, he doesn’t speak to me as much, want to hug or kiss me hardly ever and is very snappy with me, last night when we were watching tv he even snapped at me for looking at him. I know he has taken on a lot of extra work in his job so I am maybe thinking he is bringing his work stress home but then I think is it me or something I have done, I have tried talking to him but he says everything is fine or when I try to talk to him about stuff he is just snappy. It is really getting me down, people have told me to give him space and he will come around but I am worrying so much that he will leave me that it is making me feel sick.

I just think to myself is this all in my head, is my anxiety causing unnecessary drama again for me, am I over reacting about things. When he doesn’t say I love you or doesn’t want to hug me is it just me over reacting straight away and thinking oh god he is going to leave me or should I really be concerned about what is going on right now.

Then I just feel so much resentment towards his job, I hate him been there, they have gave him more jobs he is going to start having to work 2 Saturdays a month and I just hate it. Feel sometimes that I am second best to the place and the people in it and I cant even tell him that cause when I do he says its his job and it has to be done so no point moaning about it, it’s a means to an end and nothing can change it, which makes me feel even more frustrated cause every time he goes out the door and is of with me and then walks in the door and is even more of with me it makes me feel really sad and I blame that place for it.

I really have no idea what to do right now, feel like I could cry at the drop of a hat, feel worn out and run down and just so anxious, I am always seeking reassurance from him cause he seems so distant so I need to keep asking him if everything is ok which probably is the wrong thing to do, am I stupid for over thinking and worrying so much. Is this all my fault am I pushing him away I don’t know. I have asked him what is wrong and he says nothing, he still messages me before work and says love you and when i asked him last night do you want to spend your life with me his reply was arent I doing that already, so I dont know I am just so confused, is he just stressed and am I adding onto that with 101 questions or deep down does he not want me no more. 

Just need some advice on what to do in this situation, from a man’s and a woman’s point of view. What should I do, do I give him space do I ask him 101 questions to get the bottom of this or shall I just leave and do him a favour.

8 Replies

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  • Omg it's just like you are me! I'm not joking I had to double check your name because if you look at my posts I've written similar ones to yours.

    We are so alike in our relationships.

    All I seem to do is cry too. I will hide and cry, because if he sees me crying he will snap at me and say 'what now'!!

    I am very alone and miserable more than I've ever been.

    I did go to the GP and she wasn't that supportive.

    Where abouts do you live X_b_X ?

    Hope you have a better day today. Last night I decided not to speak all evening, he didnt say anything apart from, what's up?

    Kind regards

    Lottie.

    P.S. You can always message me no problem. Oh and he often goes out without his wedding ring on!

  • xbx hi im male had an abi in 2012 i love my wife but the worst thing she can ask is..........are you ok.

    definately sounds like work related stress to me ........what does he do for a job?

  • He decided to leave me Thursday, so I moved all my stuff out of his and back home with my parents. Spoke to him since and he said to leave him be for now and maybe we can talk in a few weeks

  • xbx before i respond to this this post i would like to answer a statement you made about being diagnosed with IBS.

    I think youre suffering from gall stones.......my wife had similar symptoms doc sent her for a scan and she had it removed earlier this year.

  • Hello. I know this post is old, but I just joined this forum and your situation piqued my curiosity. How did things pan out for you??

  • X_B_X it's been months and today suddenly your old post popped up? I have no idea why?

    What's happened in the last 9 months or so?

    I've had no contact with you so, you and your husband are you still together or still separated?

    Please do reply and I apologise for such a long delay, but I'm unsure why the delay?

    Just getting into shower and then I will reply.

    Lottieonline

  • Hello

    I cannot believe this post was 9 months ago.

    I am really well now, better than well actually. I have found someone new, been together nearly 4 months now so it is going well. I also do not have any anxiety issues anymore, especially in this new relationship, they have all vanished, which shows me that this is the right guy for me, I trust him completely and have no worries or anything with him. It is strange in a way because every relationship in which I have previously been in I always use to worry and never use to trust, this one is really different as I do not feel any of that. I am so happy.

    Just shows that I think it takes finding the right one in order to make it work. If it doesn’t work deep down you always have the instinct and know that it isn’t right even if you want it to work sometimes its best just letting it go as there is the one out there waiting for you.

  • Wow amazing!

    I'm so happy for you!!

    Stay happy forever!

    Best regards Lottieonline

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