I need some advice on a housing situation.

[DemureRose]

Ok here's the deal.

So I am in a group of four girls. A few months back we had a falling out and we did not speak for about 2-3 months. The other three were still in contact and remained close throughout the separation. In that time span, they made the decision to move in together. When we finally began speaking, they immediately asked if I would like to move in with them. Initially, I said no.

Now however I am reconsidering (they haven't found a roommate yet). See I will be going into my second year of college and I have been very depressed lately. It feels as though everyone is moving forward in life and I'm stuck. I still live with my parents and I have made a whopping one friend in my ten months at this college.

I am perfectly content still living at home. My parents aren't overly annoying and I am only ten minutes from campus. Plus ya know...it's free.

But I feel like I need the socialization and my therapist agrees.

Now I know what you're thinking. What's the problem?

The apartment is complete crap. Ok it could definitely be worse but it's not great. The fact that the price is only $350 should tell you something.

Now I could get passed it being crappy, but the worst part is...it's in a sketchy part of town. Like can't walk to your car alone at night kinda sketchy. Screens on balconies cut kinda sketchy. Cops patrolling and arresting people kinda sketchy.

Plus I have a friend who lives in these apartments and when I asked him what his opinions were, he said and I quote "Tell them to get out of their lease as soon as possible. Don't live here." And when I asked what was bad about it, he said, "All of it. Like literally all of it is bad."

Now sure that's one person's opinion, but the reviews on multiple websites where this complex is advertised report similar issues as my friend did. Cars broken into, vandalization, spotty AC/heating, bugs, maintance working coming in and out of apartments without permission or warning (one entered while a girl was taking a shower), heavy police presence, etc.

Like I don't know if my friends just didn't read the reviews or you know...look around while checking out the apartments. I drove around the complex once and was like "uh...ok..."

I mean I could handle if it was reallty nice + bad neighborhood or crappy + good neighborhood. But crappy + bad neighborhood? Hard to swallow.

But the reason I'm reluctant to just flat out say no is because I know that if I say no, it will be hard for me to visit them. I'll feel jealous and excluded and depressed that I'm still stuck.

I thought about moving out and finding a nicer place but in my area even the crappy places are too expensive for one person. I also want to add that in my own search, I found multiple complexes that were 10x nicer than the one my friends chose for prices only a $100 more. And I understand $100 is a lot more money but for me spending a little extra money would be worth it for me to live in a safe and comfortable place. Maybe that's just my thinking.

Anyways the bottom line is now I'm stuck.

Do I...

1. Move into the kinda crappy, somewhat unsafe apartment with my friends where I might make memories and feel independent

or

2. Stay at home and live comfortably and safely, but risk jealousy and depression?

Any ideas or advice?

[mrmonk]

I'd stick with housing option 2.

[Hidden]

Hello

We have a saying

If it is not broke don't fix it and sounds like you are content at home and if so there is no reason why you should change it and I would stay where I was

You mentioned you have made one friend , you will find in life that having one loyal good friend is a massive bonus rather than what you think are lot's of friends that will stab you in the back over time so be proud and grateful and don't feel any less than anyone else x

[The_Lord_is_with_Us]

It was a ........... NO. Before I read about the apartment and area.

Tough love here .... focus on your education. Don't worry about social. It will develop. You're young ... so you have plenty of time.

It's tough to live with one person ... let alone 3. In my life .... early on ... I tried that and it always ended in misery.

Your Definition of 'forward in life' needs recalibration. Getting along socially is not the kind of upward movement in life you should be seeking. Education and knowledge at this point will build maturity and critical thinking skills that will serve you well, socially, in the future.

When you begin employment someday, you will be interacting socially with lots of people and you will, also, formulate a group of friends.

You're still way early in the game ... don't overthink it. Stay with the folks for a while longer ... and graduate at the top. Keep things focused and simple so it doesn't impede your study. Good Luck!

[Hidden in reply to The_Lord_is_with_Us]

Good advice!!!!