Would you or wouldn't you that's the question? I've been thinking of asking my mother some questions about my younger days if she can remember being as she has dementia , I need to know why she did things like trying to gas herself every time it was time for me to come from school, I was 10 and I shouldn't of witnessed things like this , my dad used to stand by the side of my bed with white sheet over his head everynight ,I can't ask him questions he commented suicide a day before my 16th Birthday, I have nightmares about what happened, I have to live with things daily I'm now 62 and I need answers.
What would you do ?
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Littlecook
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I would ask my Mother as long as I prepared myself for the possibility of her not answering me or saying anything hurtful. Do you have a therapist to get support from if anything negative happens? I would definitely try before her dementia progresses, if there is even a chance now.
I'm so sorry you had those dreadful experiences. Too much for anyone, let alone a child. I'm sure you want answers but not sure you'll be able to get them. Not only because of her dementia but because she may have blotted them from memory as a way of coping with her troubled mind. I know this doesn't help you but neither would getting nothing from your mum either Have you participated in any 'talking therapy' with an expert? They could probably make more sense of it for you and, definitely, give you some strategies to cope with it. Good luck.
I would respectfully recommend refraining from speaking to your mother even if she did not have dementia but especially because she does. I have learned that I don't need to know the reasons why people do things or the reasons why they think they did things.
Obviously somebody who behaves that way is mentally and emotionally ill. Do you really need to know anything more than that? Would it even be possible to know anything more than that? Does she herself or did she ever know anything more than that?
I understand that you have post trauma issues and it's very difficult but there are ways to get through it without the other person being involved in the process.
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Have you participated in any 'talking therapy' with an expert? They could probably make more sense of it for you and, definitely, give you some strategies to cope with it. Good luck.
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