I'm having lots of panic attacks in the last weeks. I've been in the hospital because of my blood pressure. It increases a lot during the panic attack.
The last one happened today (minutes ago) I couldn't breath. Yesterday, it happened in the train (I had to leave the train). I took a cab and had another panic attack when the car was in a tunnel.
Why all this?
I was living in London where a I had a good job. My contract finished and I came back home (Rio de Janeiro - Brazil). The problem is: I left someone I love in London. We keep our relationship and we agreed that as soon as I find a job and rent a flat, he would come to be with me. But 2 months have passed and I still don't have a job. In addition, I found my city very violent and I'm always afraid to go out.
When I started looking for my old jobs, I found that I have a debit with a company I was working before. A quite big debit for someone who doesn't have a job.
I have to pay my house (I bought this before I go to London and I was paying while I was working there).
One of my best friend is dying of cancer and I don't have strength enough to go to the hospital and visit her. I've been there 2 times after this I started having this panic attack.
Everything seems wrong: my professional life and my personal life.
I feel like I'm stuck among an ocean of problems. Everywhere I look I see a "NO".
Now I'm worried about my life. I feel I can die any time.
I can't sleep, and during the day I'm always really anxious. I'm closing myself and I prefer to be alone, thinking about my problems and trying to find a way out of this anxious state.
Another panic attack is starting now. My hands and feet are sweaty, I cant breath properly, and my heart is fast....