Last night i had suicidal thoughts

the last time i had suicidal thoughts was in march and i was planning on killing my self my bf had to hold me back and put me on the bed i was crying and screaming i just wanted peace i just wanted everything to stop i wanted to die. Last night it never got that bad it was just the feeling and thoughts on giving up. But i am scared as i don't want to have another episode on me trying to act on it I am scared .

[Aguglielmo986]

I’m no doctor but when my anxiety gets that bad I usually go to the hospital to just get some relief. They help you. I got that feeling when starting my new medicine and it’s scary. Your definitely not alone.

You can message me if you want to talk

[Hidden in reply to Aguglielmo986]

Thank u I am scared that i will get another episode on trying to kill my self

[Agora1]

glitterangel, please go to the hospital if you feel that threatened by these thoughts.

What happened to cause this turnaround.? You were doing so well. PM me if you

need to talk. xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thank you. When lockdown stared it affected me as i had to stop seeing my kids and my mum and my relationship was not in a good place at the time and i was going to try kill my self to make everything stop i just wanted peace. I thought it was a 1 time thing but now i feel like that again. but not as bad as the first time is just the feeling and the suicidal thoughts . As the 1st time was feelings thoughs and i was about to act on it. I am going to see a doctor i don't want to die. Its my sons 3rd birthday iam trying to have fun with my family but i can't shake the feeling off 😣

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

I'm sorry dear that the lockdown has caused you not to see your mum and kids. I know

that is what you live for. By all means see you're doctor. You've come too far for yourself

and your children to let go. Try to focus on your son's 3rd birthday today. Enjoy the time you have with your family. It's a special celebration of "life". xx

[Hidden in reply to Agora1]

Thank you i been trying so hard to push it all at the back of my mind i did have a good time there was points i was finding it hard but i was trying to push throw it.

[Agora1 in reply to Hidden]

You did good glitterangel by throwing those unwanted thoughts to the curb.

Stay positive, I'm glad you are back on the forum where you can feel safe as

well as get the support you need. xx

[Hidden]

Hello

I am sorry you are feeling so down and getting these thoughts

I get them a lot especially this last few years and it is not that we want to commit suicide but more than we just don't know how to live with how we are

It also is not the answer even though we get desperate and can believe it is but deep down we need help and understanding

Have you spoken to your BF or a close friend , family how you are feeling , Doctor ?

The more you can be open about how you feel does not solve everything but it does help take some of the pain away

Do not fear the thoughts so many of us have them but when you get them open up and even if us come and talk

Take Care x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

I don't want to tell my mum i don't want to scare her she all ready worries for me i don't want to add more.I did tell my bf he is there for me and I'm going to see a doctor I am scared to tell them that a few months back i was planning on killing my self but i need help i want to be there for my babys.

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Please do not be scared , I want you to really trust me on that

You tell your Doctor everything , they have heard it all before , they will help you on the road to feeling better and you will be there for your babies

Please trust me and tell your Doctor everything , write it down if needs be , copy your post and pass it to them if you feel you can't talk , I have before , they do understand

Come back and let us know how you have got on and while you are waiting keep talking to us knowing you are not alone x

[Hidden in reply to Hidden]

Thank u

[froggymom88]

Try to think of good times and memories with the children when these thoughts come into your head. Remember how much they love you and need you. Can you talk on the phone or face time or send cards? Do what ever you can to stay connected to them during this time.You will get to see them again. If you need to go to the hospital or call a hotline please don't hesitate because you are a one of a kind creation and can never be replaced. Hugs.

[Hidden in reply to froggymom88]

Thank u i am seeing my kids more now as lockdown is more relaxed and we can see family. It's other things that are now making me feel low i got a lot on my head i try so hard to stay strong but when bad days hit and if I am all ready feeling stressed or low it attacks me more. And then there is no longer peace in my head

[Want2BHappy3]

Sorry that you’re going through that. Where do you live? In the USA we have something called 51/50. Where you’re put under sucide watch for 72 hours. Are You in counseling? Wishing you the Best 🙏😷

[Hidden in reply to Want2BHappy3]

I live in the uk

[Want2BHappy3 in reply to Hidden]

So are you in counseling?

[Hidden in reply to Want2BHappy3]

no i just take medicine

[froggymom88]

Counseling might be very helpful at this time. I know many therapists are doing online sessions. It might be something to look into.