Why do we get disturbing thoughts?

[linzi89]

Hi there, today has been horrible I got anxious last night after finding a lump on my neck which is probably a swollen gland due to a sinus infection but of course I panic! So today my anxiety has been high and I had a bad thought usually I can just pass them by but not today the was basically saying if you don't do thst you'll die. It feels like someone else saying it but I know it's my thoughts playing tricks on me. Or ill get other bad thoughts of being told to do something not nice or just a not nice comment. Because of this I get scared that I'm hearing voices even though it's in my head and it's my thoughts I even looked up schizophrenia as I'm so scared but I don't have they symptoms and the thoughts I have I know are ones I think someone would think if they were like thst so I know it's my thoughts but they scare me I end up thinking ehat if people think I'm crazy and take my kids from me or that the thoughts won't stop even though I only get them when I subconsciously think about it. Sorry for the long post please tell me there are other people like this or I'll really be ill 😕 thank you

[linzi89]

Hoping someone will reply the post I saw which was similar to this had lots of replies. Please don't think I'm a bad person because I'm not I would never do anything do anyone I hate feeling like this x

[Agora1 in reply to linzi89]

Hi linzi89, they will reply. weekends sometimes get a little slow. I remember the post you are referring to. If I find it, I will let you know the subject it was under.

[Agora1 in reply to Agora1]

linzi, I found it. It was done 1 month ago and got 29 replies. I think it's the one you are referring to. Subject was Obsessive Thoughts Panic Attack by Sfqueen. Good Luck x

[Hidden]

Hello

OK the lump

Well let me tell you about a year or so ago I found a lump on my neck which to me was massive !

Of to the Doctors I went who said they really thought it was nothing , maybe a swollen gland but would I believe it well of course not !

So as my Doctor knows me well she referred me ( I think well I know to shut me up )

Took a friend with me to the Hospital appointment and when I went in the Consultant could not even find it because it was that small but eventually he did and he said ok I will send you to have it scanned even though I really think it is nothing

Well you should have seen the state I was in because he mentioned scanned mu anxiety did not register the bit where he said he thought it was nothing

He sent me to have it scanned straight away and said he would wait till I came back , well my friend heard that as he was waiting to reassure me , me I heard it as he was waiting to give me the bad news and while I was waiting and even having it scanned I had all the worse scenario in my head !

Went back to the Consultant he had the results and said as I thought , it is nothing !

He described to me that we all have little lumps here and there , we may never notice them but sometimes when we do it is just a part of us and as simple as that !

So my Doctor was right yet I had to put myself through all that before I would accept it , but that is anxiety for you especially if you have Health Anxiety

Now the thoughts

I have ocd , and the thoughts are always there feeding the ocd , so it goes if you don't do this or that or keep doing this then something bad will happen to me or a loved one or even worse than that sometimes , and again that is how anxiety feeds , how ocd feeds , the thoughts are just thoughts , normal people may have them but they focus on them for a second if that and they think nothing more , we have them and they go on & on & on

This is anxiety at it's worse and you need support , some counselling would really help and I would speak with my Doctor they will not think any worse of you they will understand they will have heard it all before

When I get the thoughts now , I say O shut up , I am not listening and I am so much better than I was because I give them less importance and therefore they have less power and yes I understand you do think you are going mad but believe me you are not

Hope this helps a little

Take Care x

[linzi89 in reply to Hidden]

Thank you so much! At 26 it's just so over whelming. At 22 I had it really bad exact same thoughts exact same fear and it eventually went away but ofcourse I'm thinking oh its different this time I am mad etc etc then the mind goes into overdrive with all the bad scenarios it's so bad. I actually think I could be ocd too always have to do things in the same order etc or a wee voice pops up in my head saying something will happen if I don't. Then cause I'm scared of going mad my minds playing tricks even though I know it's me doing it like funny strange voices saying things I'm thinking cause I believe that's ehat will happen if I go mad it's a nightmare. I have scared myself silly think I've watched to many bad documentaries on bad mental illness xxxx thank you it was a big help.

[Hidden in reply to linzi89]

It is overwhelming and frightening and I relate to all you say even though I wish I was in my 20's and knew what I knew now

Sounds to me like your anxiety is creating ocd as a long time sufferer I relate but nothing bad will happen believe me even when you do feel you are going mad you won't but please go and get some support , get some therapy now , when I started years ago there was nothing to help like there is now and I wished there had been because I may not have had to suffer for as long as I did and still battling ocd even now

I am glad I could help a little x

[Gambit62]

you might find this post helpful

healthunlocked.com/couchtob...

[linzi89 in reply to Gambit62]

Hi gambit62 thank you so much for the post I will try it. I feel like I am going mad my intrusive thoughts are in different voices because I obviously think they should be because I think I'm going mad and I think in my head that's what happens if you go mad. I obv think you start hearing voices in your head so my brain is doing it. I had it 4 years ago so I should know I'm not going mad but I've got myself so anxious about it that I don't see a way of stopping it. I think if you go mad then the voices will say your name etc or tell you your going to do die or to do something bad so that's what I get when I hear my name I can change it in today a nice think being said about me or I can change the sentence to your not going to die so I know it's me that's doing it and thst I'm overthinking but it's really upsetting. I'm so scared if I tell the doc this that they will think I'm crazy and thst my children will get took off me etc and it frightens me so much. Just need people to talk to who knows what I'm going threw. It's scarey saying it out loud.

[Gambit62 in reply to linzi89]

really hope that the technique helps you. the thing is to be understanding with yourself because it's something that needs practice.

I found Mindfulness: a practical guide to finding peace in a frantic world - Danny Penman and Mark Williams - was a very useful book - it comes with a CD of meditations - which are short but also give you something to focus on.

I understand where you are coming from with the thoughts carrying you up into a spiral of fear but it is just a spiral of fear and they are just thoughts - thoughts come and go and that is just how they are but its making that conscious decision to not react to them so they build up and up in that spiral that is the key. The thoughts are really just your 'subconscious' trying to warn you that you are stressed but unfortunately the warnings trigger more stress. something like taking a deep breath when you feel one and saying to yourself - okay I'm stressed - thank you and grounding yourself back in the physical world for a moment can be really helpful. Build up another chain of thoughts that breaks the cycle and then becomes your response to the stress. It could be as simple as focusing on your feet and what they are doing, your breath and what that is doing - whether your skin feels cold or hot or nothing.

[daisychained]

Hi, how are you feeling today?

[linzi89]

Thank you, I feel just as bad today but I suspected I would wake up feeling like this and I did. I don't feel hungry I just feel sick. I know the thoughts are my body's way of saying your stressed etc so I will try that. It's just my perception of what I think an insane person would think or hear so my brains making it so I think it so I think I'm going insane and get that irrational fear. I'm just struggling to get that fear away and get it into my brain thst I'm not hearing voices that actually it's just my thoughts one of my biggest fears is going insane and my brains playing on it just because yesterday I had an intrusive thought saying if you don't do that you'll die in a funny voice that I've heard off the tele cause the funny voice is my perception of what voices would sound like if your insane. It's so hard to shake off.

[daisychained in reply to linzi89]

I woke feeling pretty grim but like you said, I think I just expect it now.

I worked for a long time in a huge mental health trust in a hospital and community, and I hope to reassure you even more that firstly, it doesn't sound like you're anywhere close to being as ill as you're scared of being, and nobody will take your children from you because of an illness, even schizophrenia. The only concern there usually is is the risk of neglect when people go through acute illness. But 90% of very seriously ill patients or service users are supported so they can live as "normal" as poss in their homes to manage raising a family or their careers.

Secondly you're not going insane! You are clear to me a caring intelligent and concerned parent but the anxiety is driving you to distraction, just don't let it make you feel too afraid to speak to your Dr.

You know where the fears are coming from, we all do, but isn't it hard fully convincing ourselves?! I've sat with patients talking them through panics and helping them with CBT techniques quite successfully , but never appreciated how terrifying they were until I experienced them. Do I take my own advice? Not much. It's a nightmare.

But please don't let any worries about what dr might think stop you seeking help.

Hope you have a better day, (I'm assuming you're in uk) and I'm here if you want to vent or chat

[linzi89]

Thank you its good to be able to talk to people. I know that with anxiety you can hear voices in your head threw it being your own thoughts but I can't get that threw to your head. One of my biggest fears to going insane so I know my mind is playing tricks on me like it says my name in a weird voice but it's me that's doing it because I've thought of it. And I can change the thought from negative it could be saying linzi linzi and I can change it to linzi your great. So I'm obviously not hearing voices I'm making the voices threw my thoughts but it's still very scary. Sometimes I feel so alone in it o have a great supporting family and I think I'll be going to the docs on Monday xxxx

[1994smilelove]

I do the exact same thing.ive always thought i was the only one.

[SmellsLikeRalph]

I've had anxiety for ever and I've had all kinds of issues in my life with anxiety, panic, stress.

I've ever gotten help for anxiety in my entire life until this year. I started having anxiety attacks at 16 and I'm now 33. I always just dealt with it cause it was easy. This year has gotten extremely bad. I have had loads of stress, anxiety, panic and lead to me getting sick.

Lightheaded 24/7, brain fog, memory loss, trouble swallowing, now scared to eat, loss of appetite, weight loss, headaches. It's just crazy

I've been cleared by my doctor I have o health issues at all. Did a barium swallow, a scope, bacteria tests. And some how I convinced myself that I have every disease known to man and my doctor is wrong.

The worst part of anxiety is over thinking and constant thinking. I am co stay googling a new disease or just constantly over thinking and then i get thinking negative thoughts.

Anxiety is a really crazy thing. It really is. You start to feel OK then bam your head goes right back to over thinking and your anxiety is back but worse.

This is the first year I started Prozac who h was only 3 days ago. I am looking forward to medication help and the more I talk about it openly it does help some

[steadfast66]

You are not crazy. However, the more you overthink, the worst it gets. You can switch your thoughts when you get negative thoughts with something positive. When you are reading a book or watching television, do you get them? Don't worry some much about these thoughts. Concentrate on something else. Sorry you are experiencing this.