The worst feeling.

[DemureRose]

Having low self esteem can make a lot of things a real bummer. But one of the worst things that happens to me in regards to that is when I feel confident in how I look. I know. How does feeling confident make you feel bad?

Every once in a while I will look at myself in a mirror and think “wow. I like how I look today.” Or I will wear makeup and curl my hair and feel so confident that it shocks me.

This especially happens when I do photoshoots, I’m a senior in HS so I’ve taken both my senior and cap and gown photos. Both times I felt like I looked so pretty and I was so excited to get the photos back because I felt like I looked great. But both times, I was severely disappointed.

I got the photos back and felt sick to my stomach because I didn’t like what I saw. Am I really that ugly? Is that how people see me? No wonder guys don’t like me.

Being confident and then having that confident literally ripped away from you is more painful that I ever imagined something emotional could be. I literally felt like life had been sucked out of me and all I wanted to do was curl up in my bed and pretend I was gone. Not dead. Just...gone.

It’s just such a hopeless feeling to feel ugly. Because there’s nothing you can do about. Plastic surgery can’t fix genetics. My face is my face, I can’t change that.

And it’s hard because I literally have my mothers face, but it somehow looks beautiful on her. Because it fits her body shape, more curvy. Her face fits perfect for her. I have my moms face but my dads body, slender and petite. My face looks like it doesn’t belong.

I just always hunger for those moments of confidence because they’re being further and far between. I’m sure one day they’ll disappear forever and I’ll be left with the self loathing.

[Marshall64]

We are always are own worst critics. We see every minor blemish as someone huge. Something you may not see as being attractive could be attractive to someone else. I dated a girl that hated her nose and wanted to get a nose job. I thought it made her more striking and unique. I liked it.

The other thing is that there is more than physical attraction. I have worked with girls that I was not initially attracted to but after getting to know them, their personality, sense of humor, interests, etc, then they became attractive to me. That to me is the best type of attraction because it is deeper and longer lasting.

[DemureRose in reply to Marshall64]

Thank you Marshall. I really appreciate your words.

[hypercat54 in reply to DemureRose]

Yes I agree with Marshall. I had bad acne as a teen which left me with lifelong scarring, both physically and mentally and I always felt really ugly. However as I got older and more self confident I started attracting men who could see through this to my personality instead. I have had my share of bf's.

Being confident (not that I am very) and knowing your own worth and comfortable in your own skin is very attractive in itself and draws others to you. Ok you will always get the shallow idiots who just want eye candy on their arm, but then they aren't worth bothering about are they?

One of my sisters has a bumpy nose and uses this an excuse to withdraw from society and be very lonely and miserable, don't spend your life like her. Make the best of what you have got and hold your head up high.

[DemureRose in reply to hypercat54]

Thank you. I never really thought about confidence being attractive even if a person may not be. I think that’s something I could do.

[hypercat54 in reply to DemureRose]

Well it came more with me with age and some productive counselling. I will add 2 more things. 1. It's ok to be yourself - After all no one is as good at that as you are.

2. Don't forget when you look at yourself your face is in repose. When you are with others you look a lot more animated. I bet you look good on your photos coz your excitement and happiness is shining through. x

[DemureRose in reply to hypercat54]

Well I ended up actually feeling like I looked awful in my photos 😂

But thank you for your advice. I’ll definitely use it.

[hypercat54 in reply to DemureRose]

Good. I am not photogenic at all and hate myself in photos. I am known in a group picture for being at the back trying to hide! x

[DemureRose in reply to hypercat54]

Ha I’m the one that is like “Why don’t I just take the picture?” 😂

[Marshall64 in reply to hypercat54]

"Being confident and comfortable in your own skin is very attractive" - I agree 100%.

I also liked people that could make fun of themselves and never took themselves too seriously. That is also a sign of confidence. I have a female friend with a pHD in astrophysics yet as smart as she is, she always makes fun of herself. She has a lot of friends and I think that is why. She said if anyone gave her a complement, she would sit them down and show them exactly where they are wrong. 😋.

[DemureRose in reply to Marshall64]

That’s how I try to be but there’s always moments where I say something that’s just a little too real 😂

[hypercat54 in reply to DemureRose]

Well we all do that sometimes so don't worry about it. You can always say sorry. x

[Marshall64 in reply to DemureRose]

Of course it is easy for me to say to be like that but I find myself always thinking "why did I say or text that"? I overanalyze everything. I wish I wasn't in my head so much (scary place 😋).

[hypercat54 in reply to Marshall64]

Ha ha brilliant. My friends love my 'whackiness'. In fact a friend said that today. x

[pink318]

Hello,

I have a friend in college, she was so inferior because she thought of herself as ugly. Now she is working in a big firm and in a managerial position. She’s confident and not feeling insecure anymore. Try not to focus on your weakness but focus on your strengths. Avoid negative self-talk. We are all beautiful in God’s eyes.

Take care of yourself, eat healthy, have enough sleep and exercise. Taking care of your body will help to improve self-esteem. We are all unique so try not to compare yourself to others.

Stay safe, God bless.