So after a load of soul searching and some really good advice on here I was still too scared to talk to my wife about my panic attacks, and constant anxiety. However this lunchtime she beckoned me in to see our beautiful daughter asleep and that was it - full melt down. I cried and cried and cried, told her I was having the attacks, what it felt like and that the best things in my life were actually the scariest right now.
She was great. She hugged me, said I should have told her earlier and that it was me she loved, not the image I portrayed to the world. I still couldn't tell her about the citalopram that I've started taking though and on further discussion realised that this would have been a step too far for her to face. As discussed previously, this invisible disease still has a long way to go to be recognised for what it is. I don't know if anybody really gets it unless they've had it or someone close has had it??
Still, felt like a big weight had been lifted and spent the afternoon a bit more relaxed than previously.
However, the panic attacks are getting worse it seems, I don't know if its the starting the cit or what but now when they come, they come in two waves mid morning and mid afternoon and I literally wait to curl up in a ball with the pain across my chest, and take a few hours to go away. on top of that now the sleeping tablets don't work and here I am again at 4am!
Any experiences of starting the citalopram would be good - did it work for you in the long run? I have the big thing causing my stress happening in 5/6 weeks, will the side effects be gone and will they have kicked in at all by then???