Just a few words I wrote : In the small... - Anxiety Support

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Just a few words I wrote

Lynzhoppy1
Lynzhoppy1

In the small hours when the world is quiet is still, inside my head is buzzing and whirring, I can’t stop it and feel unsure I ever will.

Am I good enough? Am I worthy? Why am I here? Do I deserve these beautiful children? Why is it all I do is worry?

Am I ever going to feel like just being me is enough? Why did I snap over something silly? I don’t know how to stop it, help me please. This is just too tough.

I push you away, I say I’m fine when I’m really not. I stay home, cancel plans and the smallest thing can make me go off! Why is there no happiness or joy? No laughter, no light, where has it all gone?

And then as dawn breaks and the birds start to sing, I tell myself I should be great full. After all, I’m still here, I’m alive and I can beat this thing.

But then the doubt creeps in.

It’s just a vicious circle, a never ending one. I’m tired, I’m sad and I’ve had enough. I keep searching for the light at the end of the tunnel, but I think mine has gone.

And then, slowly I start believing I am enough. I am worthy. I deserve my children and I am truly blessed to have them. I only worry because I care.

I have a good day, I smile at things I didn’t before, I really laugh, I see joy and love.

And on those days I hold on to hope, I hold on to the fact I am strong. I keep going, no matter how hard, and somehow I cope.

18 Replies
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Beautiful beautiful writing filled of pain and ultimately hope. Thanks for sharing it. I feel stronger after reading.

Thank you, I just felt I needed to get it all out somehow. I’m glad it’s helped you feel stronger xx

it has a bit of everything and that's what makes it better.

Lynzhoppy1
Lynzhoppy1 in reply to kenster1

It’s just a raw, honest piece of writing. And one which I hope helps someone x

kenster1
kenster1 in reply to Lynzhoppy1

yeah I used to write poems like yours I love reading poems on here that tells it how it is.

Lynzhoppy1
Lynzhoppy1 in reply to kenster1

Me too, I used to write them a lot. I don’t even know why I stopped..?! Poems can be so powerful

kenster1
kenster1 in reply to Lynzhoppy1

yeah my mum found a lot of mine she thought I copied them but I never.my brother even found some in the bin took them out think he still has them.i don't know if I could get in to that mindset anymore.

Lynzhoppy1
Lynzhoppy1 in reply to kenster1

Aww, you should think about giving it a go.. you might surprise yourself! This of mine was never intended to be a poem, it just happened.

Hidden
Hidden

Love this post ❤️❤️❤️

Lynzhoppy1
Lynzhoppy1 in reply to Hidden

Aww thank you 😊 When I put pen to paper it just flowed out of me, and I feel sooo much better for it xx

Hidden
Hidden in reply to Lynzhoppy1

That’s so good...

It’s lovely when writing helps..

😊💕

Coot18
Coot18 in reply to Lynzhoppy1

I call them orgasms of the pen

Lynzhoppy1
Lynzhoppy1 in reply to Coot18

That’s awesome

This is just what I needed to read, you’ve helped me

Thank you xxx

Lynzhoppy1
Lynzhoppy1 in reply to Nevic84

Aww, you’re welcome xxx

Great post!!!

Thank you 😊

This is the first time of feeling like my legs are heavy and I am falling into the ground. Upon telling my husband I get yelled at for reading the news. It makes me feel like I am a fool-and worse too.

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