I just want to stop these thoughts :(

Hi all I suffer with general anxiety, social anxiety and my therapist is still deciding weather I have health anxiety or a form of OCD.

Dealing with anxiety is hard as I'm sure you all know and breast cancer is a big worry of mine after having a scare 2 years ago. I hate worrying about my health and I'm terrified of death but over the past 8 months it's not just my health and possible demise it's transfered so I'm worried over my husbands and children's health.

My eldest daughter has suffered with tonsillitis her whole life and of course like every other mum I worry a little when her temp spikes but the last time she had it I couldn't stop worrying about her throat closing over and kept asking how I could go on if she wasn't here. My youngest son has issues with his bowels and every so often gets bad tummy pains, even though I know it's through his bowel issues (as confirmed by the doctor) I worry about it being a tumour then my baby girl was scratched by a cat and a couple of weeks later got 2 little bumps under her armpit (lymphnodes) the docs assured us it's nothing to worry about and can take a long time for them to go away if they ever do but I can't stop googling! And all Google seems to come up with is lymphoma :( I worry myself sick I can't sleep and I cry so much. My baby girl is in perfect health these lil bumps don't bother her at all they don't hurt theyre soft and moveable and slightly smaller then a pea. Apparently childrens nodes are normal up to the size of a pea so why won't my brain let me stop worrying?!

I would rather be plagued by worry over myself then over my children, I just want these thoughts to stop :'-( please has anyone got any tips or ideas on how to shun these thoughts. I can't take them no more they're so upsetting

5 Replies

  • Omg... I'll I can say is that I'm in the same boat and it makes me crazy and it effects my marriage! I hate feeling this way! 😨 I hope it gets better for you.

  • Thank you, I hopersonally it gets better for you too x

  • Alwayzanxious, you could probably even add to that PTSD from the scare you had 2 years ago. Look how it has taken over and grown from fear for yourself and then husband and children. It's like a fast growing weed that starts with one little plant and grows into a forest of weeds. Worrying about things we have no control over can be harmful to ourselves as well as our family, especially our children. They absorb how mom reacts to their health issues. They are learning through you. All your fears and worries need to be addressed by your therapist. They will help you take steps necessary to stop these obsessive thoughts. Goggling has got to stop. Put your health worries and concerns into the hands of your doctor. But you must believe that he will keep your family safe.. It is not easy but can be done with professional help. I so wish you well. x

  • Thank you so much for your reply. I have an appointment with my therapist tomorrow so I'm hoping she can help me out some. I've been blocking most medical sites on my phone so I'm not tempted and my doctor is amazing deep down I trust him completely and when I have good days I know that he will look after all health but on a bad day I can't see reason and all the what ifs swirl faster and faster in my head. Hopefully I can move forward with my new therapist, I don't want my children learning from my anxiety. X

  • Alwayzanxious, you are a good person and a good mom. I wish you the best of luck with your new therapist. x

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